Am I a bad roommate?

Question

Yesterday morning I got up early, cleaned the apartment and made Thanksgiving dinner for my roommate, my brother and my roommate's friend. That night, more than a little drunk and packed full of turkey, I decided to take back the rented movies. In the process I accidentally took back two movies that my roommate hadn't watched yet. When I returned, she began to yell at me and tell me that I was self-centered and didn't think of others, because I had done this. I apologized and told her it was an accident, offering to go and re-rent the movies for her. She continued to yell at me until she realized I wasn't going to yell back (about fifteen minutes) and then went to her room in a huff. So I got up and walked to the movie store and got her her movies.

The next morning I awoke to clean the kitchen, living room, and tidied the bathroom. While cleaning up the bathroom, I realized that although my roommate's things took up half of under the counter, there was enough room to put my bathroom things, which had been piling up in my room. So I moved her tampons and moisturizer to the side that her things were on, leaving her scale and the cleaning supplies on the empty side, and began to put my things there.

Now she is screaming at me, calling me names, telling me I'm territorial and that I should have asked her before I touched her stuff.

I'm lost. Did I really do something that wrong?

I have sat down and talked to her face to face...this isn't the first time we have had problems. But every time I do, she just starts yelling at me and telling me I'm wrong.

Keri...I only wish you could hear her side. Maybe then someone could explain it to me.

Her reasoning is that I did both of these things on purpose (so far as what I understand). I do not know why she thinks this. I told her that it was just an accident, that I am not personally attacking her, but she doesn't agree.

Answer 1

My exroomate was like that. You may think you're doing a favor by cleaning the house, but she may be embarassed or territorial that you're cleaning up her mess. I'm a neatfreak...I have yet to find someone who admires a clean house like a do. You could have prevented this by asking your roomate if you could return the movies (it sounds stupid...you think you're doing a favor by returning them...just ask first).

Before you go all cleaning, ask your roomie if she can move her stuff. If she won't move her stuff just make a big pile and toss it into her room - she'll be angry but explain that this is communal space. The bathroom is also communal space, get each of you baskets or shelves in the bathroom and limit yourselves to one shelf/basket each.

You're not a bad roomate, you're probably new at this. If this persists, then you should probably find a new roomate - my ex roomie was my best friend...I can't live with her, we can't discuss ethics, law or politics but we're still best friends (now that we're apart)

Answer 2

you can always sing by the court and get a legal eviction notice. Then there's that 30 days of awkwardness. If the person has made any threats of violence whatsoever, then you can get a move out order and a restraining order. The offending roommate will have about 30 minutes to pack up and leave. You can do these on the cheap, e.g. do-it-yourself at the court. Takes time, but gets results. Even annoying roommates. This must be taken away without remorse. An effective way of doing this is to take up an interest in the xylophone. They can be rented by the month at nearly any store which sells musical instruments. Once you've gotten one, start to play during every spare moment your roommate has. Make sure they understand that you love the xylophone and you could play nothing in particular on it for hours on end. It will soon become unbearable to continue living in such a way

Answer 3

no you are not a bad roommate so stop beating up your self your roommate is the one with the problem she needs to know that since your in a room together that means she Will have to share space which should be equally divided so you putting her things over to get space is nothing wrong.and the thing about the movies,she is just been childish and inconsiderate she should consider that you took the idea of preparing dinner for her so therefore how can you be inconsiderate if you did something as nice as that for her and you apologized to her so many times and even went and re-rent them girl i think your roommate is lucky to have you

Answer 4

I don't know. Nost of the time when people tell a story and the only thing they did wrong is make the food and clean the house and do the chores but the other person is a ***** for no reason... well i'm just sayin maybe we'd have to hear her side. Not exacly fair to her.... well then maybe she needs medicine.... or a hug :) good luck... sorry for your predicament.

Answer 5

Well this depends on if you were telling her that you just cleaned up the entire house, and if you said this then she was probably mad that you didn't ask her for help, and she may have thought that you think you're better than her. Otherwise shes either mean, or she is having a bad week.

Answer 6

It doesn't sound like your roommate has ever lived with anyone else before (other than while growing up). She sounds like the self-centered one to me. Hell, I'd just be happy that you kept the house clean!! She shouldn't have yelled at you for the movies - that was an accident. She shouldn't have yelled at you for touching her things either, but it would have been nice if you had approached her about it before you did it.

Maybe you should look into getting a new roommate?

Answer 7

Yes you did something very wrong- you moved in with an irrational, ungrateful monster who has you doubting yourself.
She sounds like the roomate from hell and I think it's time you sit her down and tell her you will not tolerate being screamed at, under any circumstances, and if she has a point to make she can speak to you like a rational person and not a screaming freak of nature.

Answer 8

ur roommate cannot scream at you to address problems if this is the way she is going to be everytime she has a problem with u or somethign u do than u need to move out. its too much, to ask for someone to not yell, yes u were incosiderate and u made up for it but this person is throwing temper tantrums when things dont go her way. u need to possibly seek different living arrangements.

Answer 9

This can only get worse unless you two sit down and talk about this together...I think it's better to talk face to face rather than looking for answers from people online

Answer 10

Get a studio apartment or find a room mate who isn't a selfish crazy idiot. Too bad you can not kick her and her fat **** out. She sounds like a horrid bully.