Should I tell my boyfriend that I cheated on him?

Question

I cheated almost 2 years ago when I was at college. When I left the school, I cut off all contact with the other guy and haven't cheated since. I'm not going to anymore but I just want to know if this is something he should know, or should I just keep it to myself and let the constant guilt be my punishment. My boyfriend is the man I want to marry someday, and I don't want to let a stupid mistake ruin my entire life.

Answer 1

Don't tell him. Think about if your reason for wanting to tell him is purely to get it off your chest and therefore selfish. Telling him will make you both feel bad and will do nothing for your relationship, except maybe hurt it.

Your only concern should be STDs, if you haven't had safe sex with the other guy you should absolutely get yourself tested to make sure you didn't infect your boyfriend with anything!

Answer 2

That would be a very hard question to answer in my opinion... It might have been smart to tell him right after you did it if you ever wanted to tell him. If you ever want to marry him I believe he should know everything about you and holding that piece of your life from him is not being true to him. This might just be my own belief's but I think that if two people are in a serious relationship/marriage... that they should know everything about the other one since the first day they met. Before that was the past and everybody has a good and bad past. So through all that rambleing.... I don't think I want to say yes tell him or no do not tell him... Just think about what could happen either way. IE: If you tell him, it is possible he will leave, or if you don't tell him, will you still be able to live the rest of your life knowing that he doesn't know.?

Answer 3

Hey you already chose the best answer but he deserves to know!!!! You have no right to be with him if your willing to hide this. If your relationship is as great as you say then he'll probably forgive you. I was cheated on and even though it hurt I'm still glad she told me. Like I said you owe it to him to tell him. He trusted, you betrayed! It's his right to make the next decision

Answer 4

Oh no way. #1 rule...nevereverever tell someone you cheated on them.

If you feel that badly about it, your guilt should be enough. Just consider yourself lucky that you weren't discovered, and that you have come to terms with yourself that you don't think you'll do it again. I wouldn't bet on it, though, because life changes a lot over time...you may wind up happier with someone else.

There's a reason you cheated...best you come to terms with that, and honestly, it won't help you to tell him that you cheated on him.

Answer 5

Tell him. Just make sure it's known that it's in the past, it's been cut off for a while, and that you don't intend on it ever happening again.

Honestly, can you just imagine him finding out one day from someone else when you could have easily told him yourself beforehand, and gotten it out of the way?

If you really think you could be spending the rest of your life with this person, would it be fair to him, as well as yourself, to keep this such a huge secret?

Answer 6

I wouldn't tell him, that far in the past it is probably better off forgotten. However, if this is something that is going to continue to bother you and interfere with the relationship sit him down and tell him. Better to do it now than wait another 2 or more years and then decide you have to tell him.

Answer 7

yes tell him. of course, you're worried that he will get angry and break up with you, but are you that selfish as to not let "the man you love" know about that? stop dwelling on yourself, think about him. of course, tell him. how do you sleep at night? relationships are based on talking, honesty, and truth. honesty and truth mean not holding anything back. and that means you need to tell him. keeping that inside, it'll ruin your relationship. if eveyrthing's not out in the open, there's stuff that will be missed in your relationship. if you love him, you will tell him. not next week, next year, now.


---how the hell would you feel if you found out today that your boyfriend had cheated on you 2 yrs ago? just cuz it was long ago, doesn't mean it doesn't count. you cheated, you tell. he might break up with you, but thats your own damn fault.

i never understood how pple could cheat on their boyfriends and girlfriends. i mean, don't you care about them at all? how can you do that to someone you love? obviously, you don't love them enough. so if he breaks up with you, mb it's the best thing for you both, especially him.

so seriously, what did you do? how did that happen? are you one of those girls who doesn't care all that much about cheating on their bfs? or did you get caught in a difficult situation or something? i mean, i don't wanna judge you or anything, and yea, it was two years ago, but really how did that happen?

and the guilt is not enough punishment. i mean, cheating on someone you love? yea you love him alright. well, mb two years ago, mb now you love him, like truly love him? like the kind of love where you don't cheat on your bf/gf? yea, just don't do it again.

you have to tell him, it'll hurt you both, but you still have to do it.

Answer 8

If he is a reasonable man and he truly loves you....joke.
Don't tell him, if you won't to keep him, I know I wouldn't like know it. But if he evidently finds out, ask him to forgive you (you were scared that he would break up with you).

Answer 9

Yeah, you're going to give birth to some puppies. Better get some puppy toys.

Answer 10

you shouldn't have cheated at all!!! but since you already did it... and if you care for him and want to keep him... off course you should tell him... you shouldnt base your relationship on a lie!!!

you can tell him and ask him for forgiveness!!! coz cheating is the worse thing you can do in a relationship!!!

Answer 11

it's been long enough that the lie is worse than the act so you might as well keep it to yourself if you can, but just remember if he cheats you deserved it.