and telling her he doesn't want to go. What can I do to make this transition easier and things easier on my ex-wife?
2007-10-08 09:03:16 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You should probably find out WHY he doesnt want to go with mom. There could be a very valid reason why he cries and doesnt want to go. There could be something going on at her house that really needs to be looked into.
It could very well just be that he is torn between 2 houses and people, but I would find out and make sure that all is OK when he is with his mom.
2007-10-08 11:46:49 · answer #1 · answered by SKITTLES 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it would make it easier on him if you met at a fun place like a Mc Donald's with a play yard, or a park and the two of you watched him play for a while and then you just kind of leave while he is playing it will be fun for him and he will not feel so detached and make the transition easier for all three of you.
2007-10-08 16:13:07 · answer #2 · answered by teresa m 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack him a "special" suitcase w/ his "special" belongings. Maybe you could buy him a superhero bag and fill it w/ his favorite toys, blanket, stuffed animal, and pj's. The day before his mommy arrives start talking about play time w/ mommy. Keep reminding him that mommy's coming tomorrow for play time. Act like it's the best thing in the world. Say silly things like "yeah for mommy". Tell him "you two are going to have so much fun". If you make it exciting, maybe he will believe that it's going to be exciting. It's also possible that once he settles in w/ his mommy, he relaxes and starts to enjoy himself. He may just be anxious in the very beginning.
2007-10-08 16:40:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he tell his mommy he doesn't want to go with you when you come to pick him up? My son used to try this all the time. When he was with me, he told me he wanted his daddy, when with his daddy, cried for his mommy. He does the same thing when he is with his grandma. My take on it was that he was trying to control the situation. Of course, make sure nothing bad is going on at mommy's house either. If he is just protesting, tell him how exciting it is, and how great his mommy is. Make sure you aren't inadvertantly talking bad about mommy in front of him either (he'll pick up the bad vibes). Most likely, he will grow out of this very quickly.
2007-10-08 17:08:47 · answer #4 · answered by sarah23670 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk up the visits with mom. Show support of those visits yourself. Kind of like when he doesn't want to go to the doctor or dentist. You know that time with mom is good for him, let him know that. If there are real things that he might be afraid of (just like at the doctor), talk to him about ways to cope with it, so that he can get the benefits that come from the visit in his life.
2007-10-08 18:41:59 · answer #5 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should sit him down before mom comes to pick him up and explain that she will be coming soon and that you want him to be a big boy and not cry when she comes to take him home. Explain to him that it won't be very long until he gets to come back to visit.
You must be calm as well as stern when you explain. Be sure to squat down on his level and try to get him to look into your eyes when you talk to him.
If he wants to throw a tantrum be sure to keep repeating what will happen and that you love him and will see him very soon. This might take several visits before he gets the idea.
2007-10-08 16:15:09 · answer #6 · answered by Clueless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cannot find a legitimate reason for him not to want to go the problem may not be going with her, it may be leaving you. Reassure him that you will be there when he gets back, tell him he can talk to you on the phone. Give him a picture of you to take with him. Remain calm and don't prolong the leaving.
2007-10-08 20:22:35 · answer #7 · answered by EC Expert 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of having her come to your house - why don't you meet up somewhere? You could make it some place that your child likes - maybe have his mom take him to a movie and y'all meet at the movie theater before the movie starts. It sounds like your little boy is attached to your wife, so you need to make going home with mom fun to him and something he looks forward to.
2007-10-08 16:12:02 · answer #8 · answered by mom2katben 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can try talking to him & getting him ready but there probably isn't much you can do. Im sure your son is fine about 30 seconds after she picks him up. This is just how kids are...
2007-10-08 16:12:53 · answer #9 · answered by jon jon's girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi
i have the same problem but just turned around.i let my daughter see her dad more than she must it doesn't help so despite of our differences we go out together
2007-10-08 21:35:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋