Me and my Sister-In -law were having a debate. She thought that the In-Laws in our family should not be in Family photos because In-Laws come and go and are not considered "True Family". I on the other hand disagree. I think Family is anybody you consider it to be, whether they be steps, halfs, In-Laws, friends, dog, cat , etc. And, that they should be included in Family photos and displayed accordingly. What I also find hypocritical, is the fact that my Sister-In-Law's family consists of alot of half brother and sisters, and a Stepfather with many other half nieces and nephews to follow. I think that with someone who has a unique family structure such as her would have a difference of opinion. What do you think? I see everyone in my family as individuals and I treat them equally regardless if they a "blood related". And, when I have my own home one day everyone's picture that I have will be displayed proudly. Which opinion do you side with?
2007-10-08 08:18:22 · 9 answers · asked by Yahoo Anwers 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I believe that if this is YOUR wedding, YOUR photograph, or YOUR history being told and YOU believe that your in-laws should be a part of it, then that's the answer to your question. It's not your sister-in-law's story to tell.
By the same venue "blood relatives" come and go as well in a thing we refer to as life and death. If we're considering that people come and go out of our lives then we should look at all variables. A baby can be born today (thank G-d) and miss the photo, an aunt pass away tomorrow (G-d forbid) but be in the photo. Family photos are not going to be a "perfect" display of a family, because life is not perfect.
Enjoy the moment and capture the history as it is given to you. Do you really want to miss these moments of history, because someone else was directing YOUR story?
All the best to you.
2007-10-08 08:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by V. F. S. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Family pictures are Mother, Father, children and spouses of children when they marry. Not cousins, etc. Those photos can be on the wall, but individually or in scrapbooks, etc. As to in-laws leaving the home, heaven forbid that we never take a picture of a sister-in-law etc because they may get a divorce at some point. That leaves very few in a family picture.
My stepson recently married and in the wedding picture, there was her parents, and the bride and groom. We were not in the picture nor asked to be. Our grandbaby from them may someday wonder where we were in the family circle. Not included. This was hurtful, but their choice. As to having us, cousins, sister-in-laws, nephews, nieces and all others in the family picture, it would have been inaccurate as to what a family picture is.
But, families are different, and ultimately must make up their own minds. She can decide from her viewpoint and you can decide from your viewpoint. No rights and wrongs in any of the choices, and she is not a hypocrite or any other label; she just has a different opinion. Love live the right to make choices. Success. Relax and enjoy your family. Go and have a great day.
2007-10-08 15:36:01 · answer #2 · answered by dutchlady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd agree with whoever is paying for the picture.
Look, that's not an argument anyone needs to win. Just from what you've described of her family she's had a lot of in-laws that came and went and weren't there for the long term to be considered family. All those parents/grandparents/siblings of the half-siblings went in and out of her life. She has some very good reasons to feel that way.
However, you have every right to feel the way you do, too. Family can be who you choose to open your home to. Who you choose to love. That makes for a more open and fluid family and there is nothing wrong with that either.
So go with whoever is paying for or causing the picture to be taken. For her pictures just have immediate family and no in-laws. For your pictures get everyone in.
2007-10-08 17:23:10 · answer #3 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your sister-inlaw has a lot of unresolved issues. And really lets face it, who doesn't. From what you have said about her background, I think she may resent the fact that there has been so many changes in her family structure. It's something that she has no control over. I would say, maybe you might want to remind her (gently) that no one gets to choose their family. Biologically or not, and that especially now days with the divorce rate the way that it is, that people have to learn to accept that life changes. And sometimes it doesn't change the way that we would like it too, but if we enjoy what we are given, (family, friend, etc) it makes the journey alot more pleasant then trying to fight against it. You might want to say something like this to her. "Sis, I know you may not have chosen me for a family member, you chose my brother for your husband, but I think he made a wise choice and I am sure glad you are apart of this family. I bet you that will put an end to your debate, and soften her heart a bit. If we walk a mile in someone else's shoes, and see how they feel, it is much easier to be understanding and respond in love. Good luck with your relationship with your sister in law.
2007-10-08 15:33:43 · answer #4 · answered by g2besure 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My personal opinion on family pictures are that they are over rated. Kids in pictures are fine, but really do you need to have more pictures of the adults? Regardless, you apparently, are of a more generous nature than your sister-in-law. Don't make an issue out it, there is enough drama in life.
2007-10-08 15:23:56 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make two sets of portraits. one with her "exclusive" family members and one with yours. family is whoever you want it to be. that whole line "blood thicker then water" it's your blood that will screw you over first. my stepfather was more of a parent then my own mother and father. a famliy friend was more of a father to me then my blood father. my husband has a family portrait in the living room with his mom, dad, half brother, and his cousin from his mom's side. odd picture....but hey....such is their family.
2007-10-08 15:31:29 · answer #6 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with you. i am still included in my ex-husband's family photos. i still go to the reunions. i still get letters and pics from all of his family, from his parents to his grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. we were family, and as far as they're concerned, we still are. my family hates my ex, so needless to say, he doesn't come around much. but they have good reason to hate him, and i'm just better as trying to forget what happened for the sake of the "family" getting along. we have two little ones together, we are still family.
2007-10-08 15:38:42 · answer #7 · answered by Heather Honey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family is who you consider family
2007-10-08 15:25:05 · answer #8 · answered by Unbreakable Me 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
100% agree with you....
2007-10-08 15:24:17 · answer #9 · answered by Akullore 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋