I found this invitation list and I'm not on it, what should I think?

Question

The person I work for has been with our company for almost 20 years. I've worked here for 1 1/2 years and most of that time, I've been her assistant. We're not real close but we talk about a lot of things other than work. I accidentally found a list on her desk of people she is inviting to something. Maybe a Halloween party? I'm not on it, which is normal for her, but she's inviting 3 people she used to work with in another of our offices. It's just hurt my feelings a tiny bit, what should I think?

I didn't think seeing the list on her desk was snooping and I know I'm not invited. I just wondered if you agreed that I have a right to have my feelings hurt a little bit......but I guess I don't.

Wow!! It's AMAZING to me how mean you people are. I didn't do anything malicious. I'm a kind and thoughtful person.

Answer 1

well let's not jump to any conclusions. 1) if you found it on her desk it could be an incomplete list meaning she is still thinking about who to invite, and maybe even though you are right in her face she, it may have slipped her mind to put your name on the list, but fully intend on asking you to come. 2) maybe it's nothing personal she just may not want to mix business with pleasure beyond a couple of conversations. I mean she may get wild at the party and fear that it may get out. As far as the other people that use to work with her, that is exactly it they use to work with her so who cares if they see her act wild. 3) you said yourself you aren't really close so maybe that's why, It could be she don't think you would want to come. Now, if she talks to you about the party and dont extend and invite then maybe you can kinda suggest that they sounds like it would be fun and see what she say. Then if she say nothing maybe it is something else, but i would think it's one of the other things i said above since she does talk to you about other things. i hope it works out.

Oh yeah, and don't listen to all the a**es saying negative things because they don't have the intelligence to understand when people are asking for serious answers. especially that Tab H person who mentioned fraternization if he want to talk about something he should not read a meaning into something he knows nothing about. In regards to the military they're not talking about don't have friends over they are speaking of not having any sexual relationship you a**.

Answer 2

OK, now let's see here. You "found" this list on this person's desk "accidentally." I've worked in offices for over 35 years and have never yet accidentally found anything; why is that? Possibly because I don't go LOOKING on other people's desks unless they give me express permission to and for a reason. Now that you have acquired this information and you feel hurt, that's what you get for snooping. There is no law that states co-workers have to be invited to parties, esp given the fact you say yourself you're not real close. Obviously. Let it go, if you say anything she will know you've been going through things on her desk that are none of your business. In future, leave other people's things alone.

Answer 3

Don't take it personally -- and don't take comments that you find on Y!A personally.
People at work are your co-workers, not your friends.
You have made a huge leap in logic to assume that the list is a guest list and that you are not invited.
You state that your not being on the list, *if* it is a guest list, is normal for her. That being the case, why would your feelings be hurt?
Professional people often have social events to which they invite their peers, but not their assistants. This is not unusual at all. It is her choice who she invites to any social event that she plans.
People choose whether to take offense. You can have your feelings hurt, or not. It won't change anything for the better. Realize that making an issue of it with her *may* affect your evaluation and possibly any expected pay increase.
Rise above it and refuse to take offense. Demonstrate that you are a person of strong character.

Answer 4

I'm with the general consenus, you snooped on something, accidentally or not, and found out something that upset you. That is bad manners. You can't approach them, because forcing your way to an invitation is tasteless and crass, and then you have to admit to snooping, which could hurt your work relationship. Sadly, you have to let it go. Also, as you said you're not that close, and maybe the party is a close friends get-together, perhaps those old office peers are old friends whose careers went down different paths. Of course, you'll never know, cause you snooped and you never can admit it.

Answer 5

Well, of course your feelings are a tiny bit hurt, you feel excluded by someone you consider a colleague and (maybe) friend.
Don't be too hurt, though. It may not be intended to slight you, but rather she may feel that your relationship is professional and that to socialize with someone who is her assistant might not appear entirely professional. While you may talk about things other than work, socializing outside work is crossing another kind of line that she may not feel entirely comfortable with.
The good news is that someone who behaves so professionally can be counted upon to be professional in all facets of your relationship with her. Think well-earned pay raises and performance evaluations. Think job security. Think promotions and recommendations.

And if it turns out that this is a list of people who are being invited to their own pink slip party, be glad you're not on it!

:)

Answer 6

The list you found may have been a draft copy and she probably doesnt need to write you down OR you arent invited. It may be a personal party and those people from another office may be her personal friends.I would be happy if I wasnt invited to a work party. Who really WANTS to hang out with people they work with! But if you really wasnt, do NOT ask why not. You should not have been looking at it in the first place.

Answer 7

I think you should think you are not invited. I also think you should realize you were snooping. She has worked for this company 20 years....you have only known her 1 1/2 years. I'm sure there are many people she is closer to than you and if she is arranging a guest list, it is no wonder you would be omitted.

Answer 8

Then you won't have to rent a stupud costume.

Or. Rent a costume and make up a list of those "not" on her
list, and leave her "off" your list. She shouldn't be upset,
because she has a "prior commitment."

Or. You could show up at her party in a costume, with your
face covered, and who would know? I'd never tell.

Or. You could come as a friend of someone who is invited
as in "best friend." or "designated driver."

Or. Ask her. How come I an not on your list?

Or. If she does ask at the last minute. tell her thanks, but you
already have plans. and have a quiet evening with a friend,
sit down, watch a rented movie, and stay out of traffic.

If all of the above fail, and you are upset. ask a "boss" at one
of the "other offices" to be transferred there. Tell them your
looking for "advancement." <}:-})

Answer 9

maybe your name is on her mind and she is making this list just for those who are not on her mind so that she won't forget to invite them, or maybe it's just the 2nd page that you've accidentally seen, then go look for the 1st page. But you know what, if I were you, I would not worry about that. I hate getting myself to where I get to misunderstand people while I don't have the full puzzle, plus, in this case, where you don't know what party it is, maybe it's one of the parties that you would not want to be invited anyway.

Answer 10

be the flame... not the moth ~ casanova.

you don't know what the gathering is for, remember that. maybe its a donkeysex orgy, or the antique roadshow tv club meeting, or the secret society of persons with extended tailbones annual convention.

so don't think badly about it. just because you're not invited to something doesnt mean you're not loved or not special. there are other reasons that you are not aware of.

who knows? it could be an Amway party... now you really don't want to be invited to that.