2007-10-08 07:16:35 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She has asked to join her in celebrating an event that is important to her. She hasn't asked you to endorse her choice, and it would be presumptious of you to do so. (In the world of etiquette, what happens in private stays private -- private conversations within the family don't count unless they become public knowledge.) You answer the question that is asked: "Will you be attending?" You don't answer the question that wasn't asked: "What do you think of my fiance?"
2007-10-08 08:11:25 · answer #1 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you value the friendship, than you should respect her choices even if you don't agree with them. Go to the wedding to show that you love and support her. If you don't, you will end up alienating her.
You don't have to approve of her decision to show that you wish her the best.
She may need your friendship more than ever at a later date if this guy is as bad as you say and will not feel comfortable confiding in you if she is afraid of hearing 'I told you so'.
Besides, if the marriage does work, you will miss out on some wonderful memories.
2007-10-08 07:31:41 · answer #2 · answered by cameoanimals 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! This is your friend and her choice to make. It's best to be there to support your friend no matter what. No need to make a "statemen" by not going. I am sure you have voiced your concerns at some point in the past, right? If so, she heard your concerns but decided that this was still the guy for her.
Just be glad you aren't the one who has to live with him... and don't lend them money when things get tight.
2007-10-08 07:22:47 · answer #3 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's just kind of a loser, I'd want to attend.
However, if this was a good friend, I would certainly tell him or her my reservations and let them do with it what they will.
If I thought she was being abused and my efforts to get the police involved failed, I doubt I would be invited.
I have a friend who keeps going back to the same emotionally abusive loser. She knows how I feel about him. Though she is my Maid of Honor, for the record, if he's still around by my wedding next year he's not invited.
2007-10-08 07:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by Meredith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is a good friend you should go, be supportive, but before hand i would let her know your concerns in a friendly way, just to ensure she is doing the right thing. She is not going ot cancel the wedding just because you are not there, it will only hurt her... So id talk to her about it, but still go.
2007-10-08 07:25:09 · answer #5 · answered by LNP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard one.
I would say support your friend- after all it is her choice on whom she marries.
But I can't say that I practice what I preach. I didn't go to my mom's wedding to her current husband. But I still stand by that choice. It didn't cause any hard feelings between us. However that husband of hers has cheated on her- and they have a terrible relationship. This is 7 years later. Such a bad match that I am glad to this day I didn't go to their wedding.
2007-10-08 11:47:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I had a friend do this same thing shortly after we got out of high school. I didn't go to any of her events or the wedding. I told her my thoughts and she accepted how I felt.
Let's say I was the first one she called when things went bad and the first she called when she got her divorce. She told me "go ahead and tell me I told you so" I told her "no need to, you already tolled your self". We always kept in touch, and are close friends to this day.
2007-10-08 07:40:03 · answer #7 · answered by typicalcagirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are a friend then you stand by your friend no matter what. If she decides to marry this guy than all you can do is be happy for her. Would you not rather be there for her when she gets hurt, because you can't stop that from happening. It is sad that you can't but you always stand by your friend, if you are a true friend.
2007-10-08 07:24:49 · answer #8 · answered by rae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think so. She's your friend and part of being a friend is being there for her. You will never know what two people are like when they are alone and perhaps he's been trying to get a job, etc.
It also means being there to pick up the pieces if it goes sour.
2007-10-08 07:20:09 · answer #9 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Of course you do. It's her choice who to marry, not yours. You celebrate this important day with her. If it later turns out you're right and the marriage ends in divorce, then you're there again to help her through that (with no "I told you so"s, either). That's what friends do. They don't run each other's lives, they support them.
2007-10-08 07:50:47 · answer #10 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋