I am a mother of a 19yr old Girl and a step mom to a 14yr old boy. We have been a blended family for over 13yrs and never had many problems. Lately my family has been at each other’s throats. Father on sons case...daughter on sons case...Father on daughters case...me on kids case... me on Fathers case. The house is in an uproar and I am losing grip to the point I do not want to talk to anyone or even do anything for them... I am burned out. I know it will pass. However, I am confused about why we cannot get along in the house...
What should I do regain peace in my house.
2007-10-08 06:58:42 · 7 answers · asked by Sheba 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The 19 year old is transitioning from her teens to young adulthood, and many changes in her emotions are taking place... and she is probably just as freaked out as you are. The 14 year old is in full overdrive of boy hormones so don't expect that to change for three more years. Just hang on for dear life.
Of course, this is more than frustrating for you and your husband. And you are wise to know it will pass. Maybe with the approaching holiday season, everyone will step back a bit and focus on the other aspects of life. Good luck to each of you!
2007-10-08 07:09:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have a 19yr old "girl", you have a 19yr old woman. She should either be in school, or have a job to support herself. If she cannot get along with the family, then she has the option to leave, she's a grown up now. Your 14yr old is doing what he's supposed to be doing at that age, being a pain. Set limits with consequences and stick to them. Consistency makes all the difference in the world with kids. You and your husband need to reclaim your lives and your relationship. Back off the kids, and start dating again. As a matter of fact there isn't a reason in the world that you can't tell the kids to stay with a friend over night and have a romantic evening alone at home. Even if all you do is nap, start spending some time together.
2007-10-08 14:20:58 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the daughter to move out and then concentrate on the son. Bring in professional help for the son if you need to... tutors, councelors and what-not. If he is not involved in sports or other wholesome extracurricular activities, see what you can do to get him into it. Give him chores and make sure he does them or he loses privileges... like take away the gaming system.
If the daughter is working, see if she can put a couple of roommates together in an apartment, then help her with the deposit. See if you can help her with college deposits and beginning tuition. Time for launch.
Everything you can do to establish peace and quiet will be helpful.
2007-10-08 14:06:29 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
they say the when your kids become teenagers, you understand why some animals eat their young. Obviously, some family boundaries need to go up and some rules need to be set or reestablished and followed. May even be some family counseling in order
2007-10-08 16:29:29 · answer #4 · answered by Done 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hide in your room and let them all figure it out on their own! That's what I do. They all get so use to you (the mom) fixing everything that if they see that you have taken yourself out of the middle and they cannot depend on you they will work it out on their own. Tell them all that they are ALL acting like children (even the father) and that your done. Eventually everything will fix it self but no reason for you to have to pull your hair out over it.
Sounds like my house! Just Hide!!!
2007-10-08 14:05:21 · answer #5 · answered by Lorrie S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i think u all need to maybe have a fun family outting and bring u all back together. me and my husband were fighting having a bad weekend and we decided lets go camping. we hada great time and otally rebonded and have a better relationship. sometimes a fun family outting brings everyone back together and destresses everyone.
2007-10-08 14:02:45 · answer #6 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a wooden school paddle and use it on anyone who is bugging you. Wham!
2007-10-08 14:02:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋