My 3 year old is acting out.?

Question

I have a 3 year old he'll be 4 next month. He sneaks food, plays in the bathroom, gets water everywhere takes whatever he can to put water in and puts it all over in his room, gets into toothpaste any kind of meds that are in a tube. Like a cream and paints it on their desk in their room. He got the salt this morning and dumped it all over the floor. His dad and I are divorced and I am remarried. I am pregnant and we are getting ready to move. I don't know what to do anymore with him. I know its hard cause we are moving, but this is getting out of control. And costly too.

I have spanked him. He has toys taken away. He gets time out. He isnt allowed to go upstairs. I spend time with him when I can. I let him play outside. He used to be the perfect child. It is like his brother and him changed places.

Also, The toothpaste and meds and things were out of his way. He somehow finds ways to get to them.

I forgot to mention, they do behave for my husband. He lives in the other state right now. He works alot, so really I am a single parent right now, but we are moving there with him.

Answer 1

I hate to say it but he is a typical boy. I would love to say he will grow out of it but my 7 year old son still like to make potions as he calls them in the bathroom sink. Try putting together cheap safe things for him to play with like put shaving cream all over the bathroom mirror and let him draw in it not only will your mirror be sparkling clean but it will be fog resistant as well for when you shower or bathe. Also you can do that on kitchen counters it cleans them great and they are entertained for hours. Or even sit him in a area that it doesn't matter if it gets wet give him a bowl of water with food coloring in it and then put soap in it to make bubbles, he can wash his outside toys and that will keep him busy for a while as well. He does not need to be spanked he needs to be entertained. Good Luck..........................

Answer 2

Has this been going on the whole time or has this maybe started since you got married, or pregnant? Try to figure out what might have offset this behavior. Spanking woudl have been my answer before, but...after studying developmental psychology and such, I've learned that positive reinforcements are better than a punishment. And if you're going to punish...take something away that he likes. And be sure to tell him WHY you took it away. So, if he dumps something out...then..right then and there, you say, OK no TV for a week, but you MUST stick out the punishment. Must be consistent. He's old enough to KNOW what he's doing, so it really just sounds like he's finding ways to get your attention. Maybe you start a weekly thing with him, like every saturday is you day to take him to McD's or to the party or soemthing for a couple of hours. If you don't show him now that he's won't be forgotten, the issues will get worse once you have your second child. He just wants love. And when he does something good, reward that just as fast, too! Everythign good he does, must be acknowledged. This will help you.

Answer 3

he's only 3 and you divorced, got remarried, are already pregnant again, and you're moving him to another state and home. These are tough things for any child to deal with, especially a 3 year old. This is an age where security and routine are what they seek and count on. He is also young and maybe feels as if he is being replaced, and so he is regressing in order to be babied. Don't let the only attention he gets be bad. Include him in all the decisions with the baby and new home. Have him draw a picture of him family, and see where he places himself, you and your husband in the picture, and if he includes his natural father in the picture. Maybe he is feeling displaced and insecure. Just have patience and remind him how much you love him and how you need him.

Answer 4

i wouldn't advise spanking him children in my opinion generally dint react well to this punishment in my opinion any way! not that i am an expert!

try talking to him about the baby and the house move young children do not like change and he may be feeling insecure and be acting out for attention.

ensure him that you will always love him and that although the baby will take some of your time you will still spend lots of time with him!

is he aware that the man you are living with is not his natural father? this may also be making him insecure he could feel that the new baby will be more special than him!

i have just had a baby and have a three nearly four year old and i dealt with her insecurities by ensuring her that i loved her and i always would! but i also told her how special it is to be a big sister and how i would need her help! kids like to feel involved and important

also talk to him about what he doing explain why it is wrong and maybe make him clean up the mess as punishment! tell him that the time you spend cleaning this mess could be spent telling him stories playing a game! and praise him well for good behaviour that way he will learn that he gets your attention by behaving well

Answer 5

he needs to play. Kids that age have an enormous amount of energy and they need to play and have fun to occupy their time. play with him . take him to a daycare 1 or 2 days a week so he has some other children his age to play with also. If you don't he'll just find things to do on his own and that may not be what you want him to do. He needs to be well supervised. Always keep an eye on him , that way you know what he's getting into before he goes too far. Reading to them helps and make sure Nap time is around 11 or 12 noon and no later, bed time at 8 pm for a less cranky child in the morning.

Answer 6

hi nikki noooo dont spank him!...i have 4 kids and to me it seems that your little boy is just being mischievous because hes a bit bored. My daughter is also 4 and does exactley the same things as your son, i bet you notice that hes doing it when your distracted with something or while doing chores . My daughter is the same. Although it is frustrating its perfectly normal for you son to do these kinds of things. At the end of the day you have masses of stuff going on in your life right now, a new baby on the way and a house move are bound to be keeping your mind busy and he senses that. what i suggest is that when your child has gone quiet its a sure sign that hes up to mischief step in right away and find a way to keep him amused ie. with play doh/ colouring books or outside with a water play table that way it wont matter if he makes a mess. Children of this age enjoy messy play and its important for them to experience it. Good luck with everything trust me life will get easier .

Answer 7

Most people will say he is too young, but he needs a severe punishment. I spanked my kids, even at that age. You cannot tolerate any kind of behavior like that. Giving him more attention won't help - because what's going to happen when that new baby comes and you can't devote every minute to your son. Rewarding his behavior with "play time and games" will only encourage him to act out when he doesn't get what he wants. And you are molding them now into who they will become. Even at 3 or 4, you are shaping them, and the last thing you want is a rebellious teen ager. Get a hold on him now.
Your spouse, though not his father, needs to be on the same page as you. He is the male figure of the house, and needs to show his behavior will not be tolerated by either of you.
Kids are smarter than most people give them credit for.
My husband and I are not extremely strict with our kids, but they have strong boundries, they cross it they can expect on being punished. I have 3 kids ranging in age from 5-9, and ANYWHERE I go, I am always being complimented by strangers on how well behaved they are.
Oh, and by the way, we have moved 9 times in 11 years.
Take a deep breath, it will be ok.
Good luck!

Answer 8

You, your new spouse and the boy's father (if possible) need to sit down with him and discuss behavior limits with him SERIOUSLY. This child must understand that he is an important part of your new family and that you and his stepdad need him to cooperate with you as a meaningful role player in your home. Give your son some meaningful chores to do in your home, such as picking up his toys, that will make him feel needed. Prepare him for some responsibility in helping with his new sibling. Always remember to compliment your son and to praise him for doing things right and completing his chores. His stepfather will need to establish an active dialogue and a personal relationship with him if you have custodial care of this child.
Insist that your son clean up his mess whenever he makes it.
Do NOT clean it up for him. Lock up anything that is dangerous out of his reach so he cqnnot get his hands on it.
When he gets tired of having a messy room, a salty floor and wet feet and he sees that his mess is not going away until he cleans it up, he will stop making the mess. You first, need to tell him that everyone is aware of his bad behavior and no one likes what he is doing or will tolerate it. If he endangers himself, he should have privileges taken away from him such as not being allowed into the kitchen or take 10 minutes away from play time. The worse thing you can do is to ignore his behavior at this time. In ages past, this kind of behavior would have merited a good "old fashioned spanking" if he did this AFTER being warned (Proverbs: spare the rod and spoil the child).

Answer 9

3 year olds are far more perceptive than you think. Are you yelling at him a lot? Do you only yell at him? This may be the only attention that he is getting from you... you are divorced, so I'm assuming you split time with your ex-husband; you are remarried, so I assume you spend a lot of time with your husband; you are pregnant, so I'm assuming that you are speding time with your yet-to-be-born baby; you are also moving, so I bet that's really time consuming.

If you are spending all of this time doing other things and not really spending time with your 3 year old other than yelling at him, he's going to act out to get ANY kind of attention from you that he can get. I'm not saying this is what is happening, but it's hard for me to believe otherwise.

I recommend spanking as a last resort only. I have spanked my daughter before, but only as a last resort. My daughter (who just turned four back in May) would lash out also, we still have problems every now and again, but not like before. First strike, she gets the problem taken out of her hands and I replace it with a toy, second strike I take it out of her hands again and explain to her why she can't do that then I replace it with a toy or suggest a game... Third strike she gets time out, fourth strike is a spanking. Nice little swat across the bottom.

With every step, I am clam and don't lash out on her. I explain to her why it's a bad idea to do what she's doing wrong. The key is to be calm and NOT react to what your child is doing wrong. When he realizes that it's not getting you, he will do something more productive to get positive attention.

When he whines, tell him that you can't understand little babytalk and you can only understand big boy words... this helped me SOOOOOO much.

Good luck with everything! Get rest and take a deep breath before you reprimand your son.

I hope this helps.

Answer 10

I know you are moving pregnant and have loads on your plate. However, he may be acting out for attention since your attention has been elsewhere. He may be doing destructive things to get ANY attention from you even if it's negative... So, I suggest that you take 20 min and maybe sit with him and read a story or watch his favorite cartoon with him or play with him/toys. He needs a bit of undivided attention from you.. Also, it may be a good idea to start storing any type of creams, lotions, meds out of his reach.. That stuff is danerous if ingested. If you have to put a small latch lock on the outside of the bathroom door out of his reach. Or put things he gets into in a childproof cupboard. good luck