My mom has been married to my step da for a long time and now she is pregnant with his 4th child. He has been knowing me since I was 2. I have been doing the dishes ever since I was in second grade. Only because he told me mom that I needed to. I am now in 9th grade and I am still cleaning his stupid kitchen!! He has a daughter in 5th grade, a daughter in 2nd grade, and a son that is 4. His oldest daughter gets to do everything that she wants. I only got tho go to the skating ring once in my life. And that was in 6th grade. She has gotten to go alot and she is only in 5th grade. She has no chores around the house and she is lazy. Everybody has sattelite in their rooms except me. I have no tv in my room. The 2nd grader is just as spoiled. I have another sister that is not his child and she is 13. We are really close because we both have chores while everybody else chills. My mom has to ask my step dad if I can go somewhere. She will not let me do anything w/o asking him. What can I do?
2007-10-08 05:58:22 · 6 answers · asked by <3 to live life 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Work as hard as you can to get really good grades so that you can go to college. Get yourself an education that will allow you the freedom to never have to be married and dependent on someone who treats your children badly. You will grow up knowing how to take care of your home and the others won't so that's a blessing. The best thing you can do for yourself is work hard to get out and financially self supporting. Good luck.
2007-10-08 06:16:22 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To say it isn't fair is an understatement.
Your mom needs to step up and make one of the other kids do the dishes and then assign you to another chore, or better, make a chore assignment chart for the week so that everyone has to pitch in and do something to help maintain the house. The step-dad is not home until evening, so she can pull this off.
The other thing your mom needs to do is take some money from the household budget for you to go skating. If the other kids get to go, then you do too.
It is important in blended families to treat all the kids equally, even if the step-parent does not feel the same towards the step-children.
Where is your biological father in all of this? Is he paying child support? Does he visit you? If the guy isn't some abusive nut, why not access him and see if you can go stay with him for a while. What about grandparents?
At any rate, you have a few years to go before you are 18 and can get out of the house. I would suggest getting or making a paying job for yourself and starting a children's savings account. You will need some money to put down on an apartment when you hit 18 and can move out.
Consider all this as a temporary condition and plan for your own future.
It sounds like the step-dad, in catering to his children, has already hobbled them severely... they are spoiled, lazy, shiftless and lack character. He will pay for that in a few years when they demand more and more and start getting into all sorts of trouble. What goes around comes around.
2007-10-08 13:26:42 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you should write your mom a letter explaining what you just said here, point out to her that you and your sister are being treated unfairly and as her daughters you think she should back you up on this and start handing out the chores equally. She should also grow some balls and treat you as equally as her other children. Sounds like mom isn't a very good mom to allow this to happen. Somebody should stand up for you guys, I wish I could. Good luck sweetie, as a mom my heart is breaking fr you and your sister.
2007-10-08 13:09:33 · answer #3 · answered by Tammy K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, write down everything that you do as chores and take pictures. Write down everything they do and take pictures. Take pictures of your room and theirs. Then put all these pictures in a safe spot. Then sit down with both and tell them that things will change now. Tell them you have pictures put in a safe spot that proves you are being treated unfairly, and can be considered a form of abuse or neglect and that they have one week to change. One child should never be left out due to relations or lack of.
2007-10-08 13:07:55 · answer #4 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey sweetie, make yourself available to it only few times rest walk away. That means find an aunt of yours you like and go spend weekends with her, ask her, go maybe and talk to a priest, just do it outside of home have a trusty relation grow and develop and have this person give you opinions.
2007-10-09 04:17:55 · answer #5 · answered by Jesús Ernesto Miguel 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
omg thats not good. very cliche but not good at all.
you need to talk seriously in private to your mum with your sister and explain how you are feeling. if she loves you she'll try to change something- that unfairness is not on. dont settle for anything less than being treated fairly!
good luck!
x
2007-10-08 13:09:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋