I am in a situation where I have been hurt beyond forgiviness by someone. This person just keeps hurting me more and more and I am to the point where I feel hatred toward them.
I am a dedicated church goer and believe in Gods word very much. I am just confused about this because I know that God wouldn't want me to be treated this way...I don't think anyway...
I know Hatred is of the Devil but how do you Love someone who treats you this way??
I would like only sincere answers because I have come to a point where I really don't know the answer....
2007-10-08 05:35:55 · 22 answers · asked by curious_59 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Hate the sin... Love the sinner...
Christ was hated and still is even though He did absolutely nothing wrong. I would suggest that you pray for this person earnestly. Pray that God would open their eyes to this sin. Lay it at the cross and allow God to handle it.
Will that mean that He'll end it immediately? Maybe. I know in my own experience, I've tried to deal with situations under my own power. I ended up more frustrated. When I turned it over to God and allowed either an opening or closing. The situation worked out.
My brother had people that were extremely difficult to work with to the point of where they were hateful and rude. They were stealing his joy by trying to manipulate them for their own gain. He tried his best to settle the problems. He dreaded seeing these people walking in the door, but tried never to hate. Finally, he said, "Father, I cannot take it anymore. You have to handle this situation, I'm at an end." In both cases, less than a 2 week period. Those people never gave him another problem. He never saw them again."
Remember what Jesus said on the cross.... "Forgive them for they know not what they do..."
2007-10-08 05:45:53 · answer #1 · answered by James B 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. What I try to think about though, is what can someone do to me that is so bad that I cannot forgive them, when we sin against Christ everyday and he has forgiven us so much already. We need to put on the mind of Christ in these situations. It is so difficult here on earth, and I don't know what kind of hurt you are going through, but think of God's Truths, as you have stated. God does not give us hatred towards another person, that comes from our fallen sinful state we are in. I hope this has helped you in some way....
2007-10-08 05:41:22 · answer #2 · answered by Lids 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to believe that someone who claims to love God and his word would ask if it's ok to hate! Here is the thing. If this person keeps hurting you why do you keep exposing yourself to them? Cut ties with this person and the hurting will stop. If you really are a Christian, ask the Holy Spirit to work within you to soothe your hurt, bring peace and forgiveness. It is impossible for you to do it on your own. That is the comforter's job.
Biblical love is not romantic love. It is recognizing their worth as a person as God does. Don't expect to feel warm and fuzzy about those who do you harm. Just cut ties, let it go and move on.
2007-10-08 05:47:44 · answer #3 · answered by Michael 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to scripture, Jesus said that if you have hate in your heart it is the same as murder.
How can one love God and hate man who is created in the image of God. Also, remember that we are to forgive others so that we too may be forgiven. How can we accept the sacrifice and ransom paid by Christ for our sins/transgressions and then turn around and say to someone else, "nope, I cannot forgive you." The debt they owe you for their transgression is smaller than the debt we have for our own sin against God. When we say we cannot forgive, we're really saying we will not forgive. Forgiveness is a choice made with God's love in mind. We don't forgive someone because they've done something to deserve forgiveness (remember our own forgiveness is not earned, rather it's GRACE).
Is it possible to remove yourself from situations that allow this person to continue hurting you? Have you addressed your offense with this individual? The Bible says we are to go to our bretheren and speak about our offense so that the enemy is denied a foothold in our hearts.
Lastly, it isn't easy to love someone who treats you poorly. Ask God to love that person through you. Pray for those who persecute you and ask God to change your heart toward this person. God Bless.
2007-10-08 05:47:57 · answer #4 · answered by child of God 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Beloved~
I dont think anyone could have hurt more deeply than Christ. We are called to follow His footsteps. You said "God wouldnt want me treated 'this way' but that is really not true. God's Word says that we as believers WILL suffer..persecution from other people. He never promised we wouldnt, but what He did promise is that He would be there with us to go through it. He would lift that standard before our enemies. He would renew our strength. He would send the Holy Spirit to comfort us and keep us through the storms. So Christ's admonition to forgive 70x7 times was for then and now, and always. It seems the thoughts Ive been having last night in prayer and this morning were for you. I know what its like to be hurt, repeatedly, over and over and over-without provocation...just because that person has issues. The only thing....hear me....the only thing, that will get you through the pain is the Word. My husband came into our marriage with a whole truckload of issues...somethings that are still be revealed even now. There were times when I was hurt so badly that I could do nothing but double over and weep in the shower, asking God to remove this 'thorn' that was emotionally hurting me. And His Word to me was...'No..because its through this pain, that I will finally get you to seek ME..and not other people.' I would never tell anyone to go the route we did, but I can tell them that no matter what they are facing...they can get through it. If I could, then you can. There is nothing special about me. I was probably the most intolerant person you'd ever meet. If you so much as rubbed me the wrong way I would cut you off. But in my study of God's Word, I found new understanding..and a new heart to forgive beyond my own ability. The only thing that has sustained me has been the Lord. Its not that He WANTS you to be hurt...He just wants you to turn to Him to ease the pain. You are more than able to handle this my sister...Lean on Him.
2007-10-08 05:51:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry you are having a problem with someone. it is okay to hate the treatment, and the person's attitudes, if not the person themselves (I can't say if hating someone is right or wrong) but we are supposed to hate wrong. we are supposed to love our enemies but I have seen no where where it says you have to live with them or deal with them if they are harmful towards you. of course whether to forgive or amend the relationship depends on the seriousness of the wrongs.
I can't imagine you have to forgive unless they are repentant, remember God doesn';t forgive us unless we repent (stop doing what is bad) they would have to show true repentance to you, such as apologize and refusing to treat you that way ever again. forgiveness is never automatic. by the way I don't think letting it go after you get rid of the relationship and regaining peace again is not necessarily forgiving, you have just let the matter rest. I have heard people say you have to forgive (even murderers and rapists) at least for yourself and your peace. trouble is you can have the peace without forgiving someone. you can just let it rest in Gods hands. you have peace again because you no longer have to deal with someone anymore(they are gone or in prison or whatever) and you have no need for revenge because these people always tend to punish themselves and God will handle the matter his own way.
anyway hating certain things is not of the devil, God wants us to hate injustices, and wrongdoing, not necessarily the person, but not people in general. tho you may be confusing anger and distrust, and a sense of being wronged as hate, I don't think that is the same thing as actually hating the person themself. ifyou actually hated the person you would of probably beat them up or killed them by now or done some other horrible thing to them by now.
YOu want the person to amend things or stop, and you want peace to be restored in your own life, that is understandable. this person is destroying that peace and if it can't be rectified (this person to apology and stop it!) get away from them you do no wrong to protect yourself from more harm my ending the friendship and indicating so to that one. and forbidding them from ever contacting you. The book of proverbs has alot of information on dealing with problems and people, read it I am sure you will find something in there that pertains to your situation..
Of course all of this depends on the wrongs being done. if the wrongs are criminal or just little annoyances.
RRRR
2007-10-08 06:08:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes and I will tell you why.
Unforgiveness hurts you. In Hebrews it says a root of bitterness springing up destroys many.
You are the one destroyed by it... internal bitterness will give you cancer. Ask me I had it.
Jesus said forgive. He did not say carry on a relationship.
Get it out of your heart and mind or suffer the consequences.
Please see this or you will get what I got. Thank God the Doctors helped heal me but I left the situation I was in to survive.
2007-10-08 05:46:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have had people hurt me deeply, also, but I had to forgive them. It took a long time, but I did. Just remember, God does not forgive you of your sins unless you have forgiven others. Just think about all the sins in your life that have been forgiven, and what if God hadn't forgiven them? FORGIVENESS IS NOT AN OPTION WITH GOD. YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE TO BE FORGIVEN! IT IS A REQUIREMENT.
I understand what you are saying, but, Jesus also said if you have hate in your heart, it is the same as committing murder! Now, knowing this, you will have to find a way to forgive this person. As a Christian, we are called to love the "unloveable", and forgive the "unforgivable"
I will pray for you that you have the strength to do this. Please take this in prayer. Forgiveness is at the very soul of our faith. Think about the Amish people who's children were killed by that gunman, and right away, without hesitation, they forgave him, and even went to his family's house, and prayed for them also. That's the love of God. Think about what Jesus went through to make a way for us to be forgiven. Your or my problems no way compare to His suffering. Just remember Jesus. You will find a way to forgive. God Bless You!
2007-10-08 05:49:01 · answer #8 · answered by byHisgrace 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to forgive them number one. You DO NOT have to love them or give them the time of day. BUT do not hate! Just give it to God and He'll take care of the rest. Just keep praying.. by searching for this answer you are doing the right thing, and i am proud of you!
2007-10-09 00:41:50 · answer #9 · answered by shannonamsler53092 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the most important thing for you right now is to face why you are putting yourself in the position to be hurt by this person repeatedly. Try to remove yourself from the unsafe and hurtful situation and things will fall into place for you. You may never love the person, but it will be easier to not hate them if you don't allow them to hurt you anymore.
2007-10-08 05:40:50 · answer #10 · answered by Nea 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋