I've had light-bondage fantasies ever since I became sexually mature, but for 12 years I have never acted any of them out with any of my boyfriends - I just fantasize about it in the privacy of my own bedroom.
Now I'm single, and a friend of mine suggested that I place an ad. Well, I did, and I received tons of responses! But of course I'm scared - there's the safety factor for one thing. Also, I don't think I could ever have a serious relationship with someone if we acted out my fantasies. It would have to be just sex and nothing else.
So I'm not sure what to do - play it safe and just keep torturing myself with unfulfilled fantasies? Or take a risk and see what happens? Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?
Thanks!
2007-10-08 04:07:16 · 18 answers · asked by Kiz M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have been in your situation and in my experience, fantasies are meant to be lived out!!! I also agree with you that it is far better when they are lived out with someone you don't have a serious relationship with. Then too many thoughts and emotions get involved, and inhibit us from really letting go and enjoying the experience. However! In your case, because the fantasy involves bondage, I absolutely do not think it's a good idea to play this out with a stranger. There are way too many things that can go wrong, dear. This is one fantasy that has to be played out with someone you know and trust. Please do not meet some guy you met online for a night of bondage. You could be taking your life in your hands.
It is entirely possible to meet a good guy for a sex-only relationship. I have a couple of those myself. And I trust my guys completely. Find yourself a f*ck buddy that you can trust, practice safe sex with, and once you feel comfortable enough with him, you can explore your fantasy.
2007-10-08 04:20:45 · answer #1 · answered by meagain 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This statement makes no sense: "I don't think I could ever have a serious relationship with someone if we acted out my fantasies." You're going about it in the wrong way. First have a relationship, THEN act out your fantasies.
Naturally, I could see not wanting to be married to someone who needs to use a ball gag, blindfold, handcuffs, and leather straps on you every time you have sex in order to get off. But are you even aware of how tame "light bondage" is?
My wife and I played with it some several years ago, found out we weren't really into it, and quit. Nonetheless, if today she told me she wanted me to tie her up before we had sex, I would be fine with doing it for her and I would think no less of her afterwards. Even if she wanted to do it regularly, as long as it wasn't most times, I would do it for her and still love her.
We've been married 21 years. So, once again, I do not understand why you don't think you could be in a serious relationship with someone if you acted out your fantasies.
2007-10-08 05:00:54 · answer #2 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you think you couldn't have serious relationship with someone and act out your fantasies. I think that's a question you need to ask before the answers to this question will be relevant. Is it an issue where you couldn't respect someone any more if they did enact your fantasies? That to me would kind of say that you don't respect yourself for having these fantasies, if you couldn't respect someone else who was into it. Whatever it turns out to be that's preventing you from engaging in these fantasies with a serious partner, I'd try to address that first. Otherwise it could lead to cheating and a lot of heartbreak in the future.
As for this question right now, I think it would be pretty dangerous to engage in bondage with someone you don't know and trust.
2007-10-08 05:06:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think some fantasies are better left at just that it just depends on what it is. As far as light-bondage I think that would be one of those that are OK to act out, but you should really try it with your boyfriend and not some stranger you know nothing about who answered an add. Dealing with bondage it would be better if you know and trust the person. I don't think it would be wise to try with a stranger.
2007-10-08 04:32:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few of. Some major, some not. It is really nice to be able to tick them into your memory "list" though, especially when they are done with or to someone you truly love. The Sex- files, my friend calls them! lol... Some have become a part of me, either because it was great for me or great for him so I'll repeat it all..others need a little work, as they can be a little awkward at first. But I'd love to keep trying those with him and see what "comes up" so to speak... I say if she's game, and he's game, go for it.
2016-04-07 21:26:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem with fantasies is that they are perfect. Sometimes (not all) when you play out a fantasty, you become disappointed. Living out a fantasy is ok if: #1 nobody gets hurt. #2 It is consetual between all parties. #3 It is not illegal. As for your fantasies, you have every right to be scared. You need to act theses out with someone you know and TRUST.
2007-10-08 04:20:21 · answer #6 · answered by abha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem with fantasies is that they are perfect. Sometimes (not all) when you play out a fantasty, you become disappointed. Living out a fantasy is ok if: #1 nobody gets hurt. #2 It is consetual between all parties. #3 It is not illegal. As for your fantasies, you have every right to be scared. You need to act theses out with someone you know and TRUST.
2007-10-08 04:14:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off, it's completely normal to have these fantasies.. why not? and it's ok to live them out!
I dont know about ads for that particular stuff being completely safe... if i was in your situation, i'd be careful in the ad not to mention the fantasies up front...
try instead saying on the ad 'looking for random play' or 'no strings attached'... it is less risky... i mean, a man who is not looking for anything serious is also likely to want to have new sexual experiences, right.
so intead of being overly personal with your desires in your ad, try to be more subtle at first to avoid weirdos messaging u...
and look to exchange your idea of a good time with someone your age (not 10 years older, just in case!), who is "looking for fun" and casual dating.
u should get a lot of requests in no time, im sure!
2007-10-08 04:26:37 · answer #8 · answered by raffaela 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think going to a site placing an ad for sex is very risky. I wouldn't go there. You can play out fantasies with boyfriends. My guy and I have done that. It's much more fun when you know and trust your partner. I wouldn't want some stranger tying me up...
2007-10-08 04:11:29 · answer #9 · answered by CC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well firstly, I don't think it'd be a good idea to fulfill these fantasies with just some random person. Having said that, sex is to be enjoyed and pleasures to be realized, so the next partner you have just tell him you want to play out one of your fantasies, and tell him in return you'll play out one of his. That seems the best way to do it. If you live near me... I'll do it! haha
2007-10-08 04:12:11 · answer #10 · answered by alwaysremembertwentytwo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋