My son (6), and stepson (8) bicker, tattle, and argue constantly. It is causing a rift in our family. Do you know of any projects or have ANY ideas on how to make this STOP! HEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!
2007-10-08 03:43:25 · 5 answers · asked by getagrip 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds like they are just being kids . . . .
When my kids were little and bickered and argued, I used to make them sit side by side on the FRIENDSHIP bench and hold hands. They hated it but I wouldn't let them off until they giggled. I didn't take them seriously and didnt' let them take each other seriously . . . it seemed to work! I also wouldn't listen to them tattle unless someone was bleeding or dead.
Don't take sides or take them seriously - laugh more, act silly!
2007-10-08 04:00:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think a good thing to do is go on a car ride to a park or ice cream store or something with the 8 yr old and ask why does he think they fight all the time. Get him to talk about it. Explain to him how important it is for them to get along and how being the older one means he has to look out for the younger one, be the protector. Ask what he thinks would be fun to do together, playing sports or joining Boy Scouts together or just doing stuff together at home, like one could draw a picture and the other could write a story about it. THEN, do the same thing with the 6 yr old. Hear what he thinks and has to say. As crazy as this may sound, sit down with the whole family and watch the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, the original one then the newer one. They are the PERFECT age for it and I am sure they will pick up on the rivalry and fighting between the brothers and how they overcome it. Halloween is right around the corner. It could be something they both love and share together and will want to go Trick or Treating together as the Turtles. Good luck! Through it all, just be patient and don't get angry. It will just make them worse. They may not WANT to talk about it, give you a big, "I don't know," when questioned about their fighting. Again, just be patient. Another thing, when they fight, a good punishment is to MAKE THEM HUG EACH OTHER! Go stand in the middle of the room and HUG!
2007-10-08 10:58:01 · answer #2 · answered by Andrea C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like normal sibling rivalry that you are getting into the middle of. Tell them calmly that you don't approve of their behavior and then tell them that in the future if they cannot control their behavior, they both will be punished. If they fight when watching tv, turn it off and send them to their rooms and tell them they can come out when they are able to stop fighting. If they do it at the table, do the same thing, they can come back when they are done fighting and eat a cold dinner. If you are driving, pull the car over and stop it and tell them to let you know when they are done so you can continue, or simply go home. If you are out, go home.
You are the parent, you are smarter than they are and need to be in control and not delegate this to "son and stepson". They are your sons, the minute you start delegating one to one role and the other to another, its obvious you are playing the favorites game. This would only be causing a rift if you allowed it, they are 6 and 8yr old boys and this is what they do, even if they are completely blood related. It'll stop when they figure out that there are consequences to their behavior, and they both are going to be held responsible. Educate yourself in parenting different ages, you have a long road ahead of you.
2007-10-08 10:55:14 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a 6 year old and a step daughter who just turned 8 and they dont get along either..but every weekend and 2 times during the week we play family games.....on the weekends we take both of them out to the park, zoo. movie. or something that they both would enjoy. then every friday i do something with my step daughter while my husband does something with my son.........but you cant stop them from fighting or arguing completely....but dont let it be a strain on your marriage......they are still young and learning life skills...so teach them that they can get along for the most part and still have the self confidents that your biological parent loves you just as much as day one...but now you have another step parent you loves you too.....
2007-10-08 11:10:50 · answer #4 · answered by $martA$$.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband will have to sit down and discuss matters.
It is essential that you treat both children in exactly the same way. This applies to treats, outings, everything. You will have to look upon them as twins.
Any favoritism they detect will lead to these kind of repercussions.
It's very, very difficult having stepchildren. Visit the link below:
2007-10-08 11:03:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋