My boyfriend and I are both 24 and its getting to the point where I don't know whether I can wait any longer for him to commit. We've been travelling all summer and I was devastated to come home without getting engaged. I couldn't think of a more perfect time to do it, no worries, no need to work, visiting beautiful places. I've asked him whether he includes marriage into his plans for the future and he says he does want to marry me but he can't understand why cant I just be happy with the fact we're in love and happy together. How can you be unsure after 3 years? I've told him I don't want a ring and would like a few years to plan a wedding but still no proposal. Am I wasting my time? Please no 'why don't you ask him' or 'its just a piece of paper' answers!
2007-10-08 02:02:05 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
he's stupid that's all i've got to say :s
god dam it..you're absolutely wasting your time
2007-10-08 02:06:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lil Jello & missingora are right, and you should consider what they're saying very carefully.
The truth may in fact be that either he doesn't want to get married at all, or he doesn't want to marry YOU. I know that sounds really cold, and I don't want to be hurtful, but it's true.
Honestly, you have three choices - One, you say/do nothing and continue to wait and hope for the best. Two, you have a frank, honest, nonconfrontation conversation with him about his life goals and whether or not they include marrying you - difficult, maybe, but if you want to spend the rest of your life with this guy, you NEED to be able to have these conversations. You can't be afraid of the answer you may get. Three, you can break up with him.
2007-10-08 10:42:01 · answer #2 · answered by sylvia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although I agree with the others, I would add that what needs to happen other than that conversation is that you have to decide whether you are happy in the relationship as it is and if you are, are you okay with just being with him.
I had a timeline for my fiance (then live-in boyfriend) and if he wasn't ready by that time I was out. BUT, I found out that when that deadline was coming close, I loved him and I was okay with staying with him, regardless of if we were engaged or not.
That was my personal decision I had to make - and luckily for me, I made that decision and stopped mentioning marriage and stopped the pressure and before my original deadline was up, I was engaged. Was the engagement caused by that? I doubt it, but it made it a whole lot nicer knowing that it wasn't because I "made" him propose to me.
2007-10-08 11:01:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about how your life would be without him. If you can't imagine it then why would waiting for awhile be so bad? If it is meant to be it will happen. I waited for my fiancee for a long time, but I am so glad that I did. He was so worth the wait. My patience and perseverance paid off. We are getting married next week! If you really love him give it some time. Some people never find someone to love and are loved in return. Good Luck.
2007-10-10 18:47:56 · answer #4 · answered by american girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just dont want to get married.
Sometimes people do view it as just a piece of paper, sometimes people see the good relationship they have and get scared that marriage will spoil it or change it.
Maybe he doesnt want to spend his life with you and you need to ask the question over but more specifically. Do you not want to get married period, or do you not want to marry me? You may not like the answer, but you'll have your answer and maybe a clearer road which to follow.
PS Not a good idea to say "Dont answer this or that" cause your looking for advice and those are advice replies.
2007-10-08 10:00:10 · answer #5 · answered by Lil Jello 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The two of you are at different places in what you want. You're ready to get married; obviously he isn't and may never be. It's not "just a piece of paper"; it's a commitment both are proud to make in front of family and friends. Yes, you're wasting your time, at least for now and probably forever. Tell him that you're ready to get married but that since he isn't, you need him to leave so you can move on with your life. Tell him that if or when he's ready to get married, he can contact you. If you're still free and if you're still interested in him, you can discuss it. Until then he is not to contact you in any way at any time. Then close the door behind him.
2007-10-08 09:15:41 · answer #6 · answered by missingora 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
He told You it is NOT going to happen. Time to move on. If it is commitment you want you need to find someone who wants to be committed. Sorry but that is the honest truth. He doesn't want to marry at all, that implies that he thinks that there is something out there better and you are sellin yourself short by stayin with him. Chalk it up as 3 years of learning what guy NOT to date. Good Luck!
2007-10-12 08:59:34 · answer #7 · answered by sherri s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The saying is: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
2007-10-08 09:36:46 · answer #8 · answered by Neebler 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The answer above hit the nail right on the head. She is so right with her answer.
2007-10-08 09:21:20 · answer #9 · answered by underthemoon101 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WHY SHOULD HE. THE SAYING .WHY PAY FOR THE MILK WHEN YOU HAVE IT A HOME. FIGURE IT OUT AND YOU WILL KNOW WHY. YOUR LIVING WITH HIM, BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE TO WORK FOR IT. YOU HAVE TO LOSE IT , TO KNOW WHAT YOU HAD. GOOD LUCK
2007-10-08 09:15:06 · answer #10 · answered by RICH B 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋