should i take him back?

Question

ive been with my bf for 7months and we have been on the verge of breaking up twice, he is 23 and ive just turned 18, ive been the main person of the near breakups because he just got a bit to serious for me but i love him so much that we talked about it and gt bk together, but 2day i went to his and he said he wants a serious relationship and we finished it, i love him soooo much and i havent stoped crying all night, he has been texting me all night saying how sorry he is for hurting me and he realises that its nt what he wants.
i told him that we should sleep on it and have a good talk tomorrow

what do you think, would you get back together

he just wanted to see me 24 hours and if im out with my friends on a fri nite he wanted me to go home to him instead of my friends

the only reasons for the near breakups was because he got to seriouse and i feel that im not in the right stage of my life to gt to serious#. i love my friends and love going out with them on a friday night and i dnt want a guy like with me, nt coz i wna meet other guys

no its nothing to do with the sex,

i do love him alot, but i dnt wnt to get really serious at the moment like see him every day

i went and spoke to him yesterday and we decided it would be best if we are just friends.
we walked along the beach and talked about it and decided to be friends then spent the rest of the afternoon together as friends it was really nice

thank you for all your advice

Answer 1

I would say leave it, love is as only good as the last memory. Your so young obviously you have some life plans and things you want to do. If you cannot do this as with him and devoting a lot of yourself to him rather than yourself then best to walk on. Your only 18 so all is cool really as time on your side.

Answer 2

Well I'm going to tell you this, you never know whats the right choice until years later when you see your life. This could be the guy or could not be the guy. Follow what you feel, I mean you are going to think the same in a day, he should be able to wait for you if he really loves you. Maybe you can just date but with out it taking over your whole life. I know I am considering if I should take my bf back. My sistuation was the same you are in right now, I wanted to be with him but did not want to be too serious. Now I kinda wish I did not go so serious because we went too fast. Its not that it was not nice or I don;t lobe him the problem is we went trought a lot.
IF you go in a relationship too fast it might fall apart fast. I would try to talk to him and tell him that you don;t want anything else but you don;t want the relationship to suffer by going to fast. I understand that guys like to be in control and he might say you are wrong cuz he can do it but, if he tells you that then he is not really that ready. I mean if you are dating that is the problem, he just wants a a stonger hold on you. I would say be careful you it in your own pace.

Answer 3

it's obvious to see that you both really care for each other. How is it that he means serious? Don't forget that the age difference is important of your understanding of this. When you're older the concept of a relationship is more about the person, nice nights cuddled up watching films. Waking up in the morning have having the person there. when your younger it's less "nicely mundane" it's more about the fun and partying. Don't break up if it's something like that, reach a compromise and talk to each other sensibly. Don't go into a conversation with only 2 outcomes, we get back together, we split up. Go in there and just talk, there doesn't have to be an outcome straight away.

Answer 4

I think you need to see what you want before you make a serious commentted and you being the one for all near breakups i should take a good look at myself and see if do love this bloke or are you just being with him because he makes you feel good and no bloke likes being hurt just like we don;'t like being hurt and to your still young and even if this relationship doesnt work there are still plenty of in the sea and i guess what i am trying to say is get out there and live life before you get into anything to serious but yes i would talk about

Answer 5

We can all give you advice on here but the only one that really knows the answer to this question is you.
You need to think about whether you are so upset because you love him or because it's been such a big part of your life for so long that it suddenly not being there is such a shock.
I know allot of people would say you shouldn't be tied down at 18 but if it's meant to be and it's what you want then you should go for it, life is too short not to be with the one you want.
Only you can really answer your question, good luck xxx

Answer 6

He sounds like a great guy, but if he truly loves you, he should give you space to do your own thing within the relationship - any successful relationship is built on trust.
If you love him as much as you say you do, I don't think you should call it quits, you just need to have a proper talk to him and redefine the boundaries of your relationship. Having said that, I think 18 is far too young to settle down. In fact, 23 is too young to settle down in my opinion too (I'm 29) because your needs and interests change so much at that age (and rightly so) as you try different things to find out what you really want from life.

Answer 7

By 'serious relationship' do you mean sex? He wants it and you're not ready? If this is the case and he's pressurising you (if you love me you would....etc) then stay apart. It's emotional blackmail. Don't have sex until you are ready for it because you'll regret it if you do. It won't be as enjoyable as it would be if you were both happy about it. To you it would be a 'duty' or 'proof' of your love in order to keep him and would end up as just sex rather than something special. Also, you'd hate yourself afterwards for giving in too early and begin to hate him too for 'making' you - which will put a nail in the coffin of your relationship. If he loves you he will hang on until you're ready to take the next step - but I think you should keep him at arm's length rather than tease him with physical closeness. That's not fair to him in his present 'heightened' state.

Answer 8

what do you mean that he got too serious for you? are you talking about sex, living togehter, marriage or is he controlling and wants to be with you 24 hours a day? more details please.

Ok I´ve read your details now...going out with friends and a serious relationship can go together, the "seriousness" of the relationship isn´t determined by the amount of time you spent together...it seems to be that this guy has jealousy and trust issues....I would only take him back on certain conditions (namely to have freedom to go where I want) and I´d still watch out...

Answer 9

don't look at behind when u want to step.u're still too young.u never know what love is.when u grow up u'll know it,now i know how u feel.but u hv to be strong.better u lern from the past.in this life not only 4 love,u have to be smart,school,take education,fight 4 ur future,when u have your future,u can hv the best man.people looking 4 u,not u looking 4 them,most every women hv the same problem when they are in ur age,even u get married with him not stayed longers,cos bove of u not ready,too young n too emotional,love need more then u know,try to make ur self busy,dont hate him.add him ask friend's who know one day u need him to help u ,,,cannot stayed with love,,stay ask friend's,,soo u still hv him,,u hv time to 4 get him,,untill u can 4 get him,, stayed away from him,,dont hv to keep in touch,,cos it's hurt your feeling.i dont want u to get hurt.realy i want to help...try to smile...u'll feel better time after time,,,

Answer 10

I'm not quite sure I understand your dilemma to be honest.

You state that you don't want anything serious in this relationship (and that's fine) but you also say you love him so much and was crying all night when you both split up.

A bit confusing to me!