She was telling me about one of her friends and how she watches her grandkids and how much she loves it and how much my mil will love all this. Well, my mil said that the way things are now that she will be lucky to get to see her grandkids. How am I suppose to take this? Was this directed just towards me? We usually see his parents 1 a month or every other even though we live on the same street. It's not all my fault or my husbands. She hasn't ever called or invited us down to her house since we got married 2 years ago. I even ask my husband if he would like to invite them to dinner or whatever and he always says no. This isn't the first thing my mil has said to me. I think she blames me for my husband not ever calling or visiting but I leave that up to him.
Should my husband say anything to her about this? It really hurt my feelings. It's just after 4 years you think she would stop taking stabs at me.
2007-10-07 21:06:38 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My husband already knows about everything and he is so supportive. He really didn't know how to take what she said. But I think he is starting to get fed up to.
2007-10-07 21:25:06 · update #1
If she made this remark to you and you really don't understand why or what she was getting at, why not ask her yourself?
You don't have to do it in a combative way. Just tell her you have been thinking about what she said and while it was obvious she was concerned about something, you don't really know what she was getting at. If you come across like you are sincerely interested in her feelings, it is likely the conversation will be very productive.
2007-10-08 02:42:21 · answer #1 · answered by nevit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I understand correctly, you have wanted to invite them and your husband doesn't. The reason your MIL is taking stabs at you is because she assumes the lack of invitation is your fault not his. Also, I was unsure. Do you have kids yet? If not, she is making that comment as a way of hinting that she wants some. Either way, she is making a point that she wants to spend more time with your family, however tactlessly she has made it.
You could invite her to dinner BEFORE you inform your husband. He would have to cancel himself if he didn't want her coming. OR you could arrange lunch dates just for you ladies. Stop leaving this stuff up to him. He isn't going to do it, and is going to continue to let you take the blame.
2007-10-08 14:15:46 · answer #2 · answered by missbeans 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a life time of comments like that is the reason why your husband doesn't want his parents over. Most mother in laws will put the blame on the daughter in law because they have a hard time realizing and accepting the fact is there son's don't want to hear there drama so they don't bother with there mother. What mother admits her own child's avoids her because of her behavior. I would not stress this at all. If you are comfortable with her watching your children then drop them off on a Friday night and go to dinner with your hubby. If not then tell her to talk to her son if she has an issue with visits.
2007-10-09 13:31:35 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Next time she takes a stab at you don't just sit there. Ask her what she means by that and get it all out on the table. She may just be upset at your husband, and it has nothing to do with you. Either way you should ask her what is going on. Also ask her why she never calls you guys. That is a bit strange...
2007-10-08 04:39:23 · answer #4 · answered by Wintergirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband, you and your mil need to sat down together and hash this out. Life is too short to carry grudges. When they are gone, their gone
2007-10-08 06:00:24 · answer #5 · answered by annone_rn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your hubby and ask him if he knows whats wrong, most likely he already does. if he doesnt then ask him to help you on this with your mil. she needs to get over it and be happy for you both
2007-10-08 04:16:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋