I don't know what the f^ck is wrong with my mother sometimes,?

Question

I am 24 year old female.

I am in college with a year left.

Full time student and I work 30 hours a week.

I also take care of her and I only get 1 day a week off
I take her shopping, talk to her everyday etc.

I recently lost 40 pounds.

But she always finds a way to tell me that I am not doing enough. When I tell her this semester I am getting A's and
B's, she asks me why I am not getting all A's. She is always
accusing me of drinking at night when she is asleep. She ALWAYS usto accuse me of sh*t I didn't do when I was a kid. I was always mature and had a paying job since I was 11.

She refers to me as "almost 30" when I was 16 she would refer to me as "almost 20" I don't know why she is always trying to make me sound like I am in a worser position then I am. I AM REALLY TRYING TO STRIGHTEN MY LIFE AND TAKING THE LSATS IN FEBUARY.

I look a lot like my father and I know she hates him. But WHAT IS HER F%CKING PROBLEM!!! I AM MATURE, I HAVE ALWAYS HAD GOOD JUDGEMENT, LV ME ALONE!!!

And I always call her everyday to make sure she is okay. By the way I live at home because I need to take care of her. I just don't appreciate the BS she pulls, she is nice 70% of the time.

But I have developed a REALLY BAD perfectionist tendencies and I think she is the reason.

Answer 1

Do you know why your Mom knows how to push your buttons? Because she installed them. I had to get acceptance that my Mom was never going to change and love her the way she was. She is never going to be Beaver Cleaver's Mom. But that does not mean that when she acts crazy I do not say, "oh Geee Mom, I have to run it's getting late..." lol. Hang in there. :)

Answer 2

If you were my daughter I would be so proud. You really seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I'm 42 years old and my mom still rips me apart. My mom is very negative. No matter how much you succeed in life, I don't think you will ever get your mom's approval. I never did, and I realize I never will. If you can stick it out with your mom for another year until you finish school, you can get a great job and eventually move on. Sometimes the less contact you have with your disfunctional mother, the easier your life is going to be. By the way I look like my father too and yes my mom hates my father too. That comment put a smile on my face cause I always hear "Your just like your father". I always reply "Thank God"!!!! my best advice to you is try to only be around your mom when you have to. When you talk to her you don't have to be rude to her, just brief. Bite your tongue when she starts pushing your buttons. Don't argue with her. It will only make you more angry. I promise it will help alot. Keep your head up and by the way, if you needed to lose weight and you lost 40 lbs. Good Job!! Your mom should be so proud.

Answer 3

She sounds like she has some mental problems, maybe even a Borderline Personality Disorder. Those kinds of people will do nothing but try to tear you down and make you miserable because they are miserable.

Why do you take care of her? If she's THAT terrible and does nothing but put you down, you need to be upfront and tell her that if she keeps insulting you and trying to hurt you, you will not be there to help her out. Then for your own mental health, if she keeps doing it, put some time and physical distance between the 2 of you.

Answer 4

She probably does it because you react to it. Or, she's nuts. She might be mentally ill. If so, it doesn't matter what she says or what you do, she'll keep doing it. If you think she's rational, you could try pointing out to her that she does that she undercuts you. But, since she doesn't sound rational, the only thing you can change is your reaction to it. If she's trying to get your attention, ignore her when she says things like this and give her attention when she's nice to you. Like, when she starts this stuff, excuse yourself, but at other times, if she's being nice, give her extra attention. Ask her about her past, her childhood, what she thinks of the President. It's called Positive Reinforcement, and if she gets attention when she's nice, and that's what she wants, she'll start being nicer. Worth a shot.

Answer 5

Sounds like my mother to a T, nothing is ever good enough. She treats me different from my other siblings, and my grandmother (her mother) treats me weird as well, when truth be told I am way better off than either of my siblings or cousins! I just realized one day that I needed to focus on making myself happy, NOT her. Then I just tune out the negative, and point it out to her when she does it. I know that it is hard Sweetness, but you have to live for YOU!

Answer 6

i admire you for taking care of your mom despite of every -thing that she does for you. Just don't let yourself be brought down for all the negative things she says to you. Soar high. It might be difficult but there's SOMEBODY watching over you.

leeann

Answer 7

hey girl.. get used to it im a 23 m livin with pops and step mom.. its just a parent for you..i kno wat ya mean. but seems your situation is worse. my dad understand im a "semi mature" young adult and he respects that. he lets me be on my own and steps in when he thinks im doing "majorly bad" or wrong.. and will give advice but usually tells me its my life do what i think is right. well hope this helpes.. you can contact me anytime if you wish to do so.. at [e-mail]. thanks hope ot hear from you. Chris

Answer 8

did you try to talk to her politely? hm, I'm sure you did. sometimes it's hard to understand them. our parents are just humans. i struggled to understand some things done by my parents, but i never succeed in it. so i simply stopped thinking. i do not want spend my life looking for the stupid answer: why?
it's not easy, but use your energy to learn how to ignore it.

Answer 9

Tell her that if she continues to treat you that way, you are going to move out. You should not have to put up with abuse, even from your parents.

Answer 10

i definately understand
you, i hate my mom sometimes, but in the end you still love her, she's just worried about you going out on your own
tell her you need some space