About a year ago I joined a self help group, and after a few months a guy who I realy like asked me out, but he was still seeing someone, I was upset because I wanted to date him but not hidden on the side I told him so in fact I really lost it with him.
Then I felt realy bad. Over time we became friendlier I knew he had broken up with his girl friend so I asked him for a kiss he said no but then a few weeks later he asked me for a kiss , he came to my house a few times and we had sex. Then I started to want a little more, to go out, to spend a night together to get closer. he started backing off and I started to feel anxious and insecure and defensive and I landed up saying some things I regret, I told him maybe we should be just friends and he said he had wanted that for a long time but didn´t want to hurt me. Now 2weeks later has given a job to a girlfriend a new woman. We never went out, out and it only lasted a few weeks. He´s still friendly but I´m realy hurt .
2007-10-07 16:55:32 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why on Earth are you hurt? Every time something happens that you don't like.....you "lose it" and say "things I regret". You are the one doing the hurting.
It sounds like you have an impulse control problem. Until you can get a handle on your reactions to unhappy or stressful situations, you can't expect to stay in a good relationship.
2007-10-07 17:02:14 · answer #1 · answered by artistagent116 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would say you are both to blame. You are to blame for not going out, spending time together to get closer. Instead, you gave up your goods first. Normally, it is the other way around. He is to blame because he used you. Obviously, he knew he could get your booty easily. I bet if you tried the dating route first, he would have not waited to try and get into your pants.
Also, believe it or not, men do not like women that give it up so easily, unless that is what they are looking for a non-committed relationship. If a man is interested in a longer term relationship, he would like to get to know the woman better before he sleeps with her.
2007-10-07 17:02:47 · answer #2 · answered by curtf1964 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's why they tell you not to become involved with group members. They are as unstable as you. That's why they are there. He was indeed "playing" with you. From what you say, you have been used. Forget it. Forget him. Do what you need to do do get yourself together. Go back to the group. Explain in private what happened to the councilor. Don't let this encounter ruin you. You are worthy and you don't need this grief.
2007-10-07 17:04:00 · answer #3 · answered by ToolManJobber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not confused, really are you ,?
your more hurt,
look at it this way, say 3 years down the road he did the same thing, would you still be confused?
i think not , he has played you a little ,
but you bedded him , so its both ways right
time to move on ............
time a great healer right , give it time , and dont give in so easyly next time, the real guy will wait , for you
2007-10-07 17:02:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be hurt. This isn't about you having a problem it is him. He didn't want a relationship, he wanted fun. So pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Lesson learned. Nothing to be ashamed of unless you waste more time with him.
2007-10-07 16:59:57 · answer #5 · answered by CB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget him and move on girl. avoid going out and talking with him, you're just hurting yourself when you still go out and talk with him.
though i really don't know this guy, in this case you should protect yourself from him. stop doing stupid things that will hurt you.
if he loves you "as a friend", he will not treated you that way. you deserve someone better!
2007-10-07 17:05:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should have been honest with you right from the beginning. Sounds like he got what he wanted and moved on. Its not your fault, but if you run across someone else your attracted to, let him persue you.
2007-10-07 17:00:52 · answer #7 · answered by canam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he just wanted to get into your pants...which he did. Now he's pulling away from you because he doesn't want anything more then sex. Forget this loser & move on!
2007-10-07 16:58:25 · answer #8 · answered by Sunshine Queen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he just wanted the sex.
2007-10-07 17:07:56 · answer #9 · answered by musiclover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend Reba has the very same problem however she just decided to shave her dog and he no longer shed all over her house.
2007-10-07 17:01:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋