I need a Christian answer about sex....?

Question

So..my boyfriend told me that doing sinful things such as you know touching me, lets just say my breast one night....it will then stick with him for the rest of the week and think of unpure thoughts. Maybe not all the time, but it will be on his mind. Knowing it s not as hard for girls to struggl with thoughts of sex and unpure things...men always do. Knowing that before he was a Christian he was into pornography and not anymore..but obviously those images are still in his memory and he doesn't want them to be. But i wanted to ask, so when you aer finally married to someone...and they do touch your breast and have sex ..as it should be in a mairrage...won't men still have the same unpure thoughts when they go to work the next day. Won't other images of sex still be in their minds? Or is that not impure anymore because he has done it in marraige and not with someone else. Won't they still look at another woman and think of other things?

Answer 1

Sex inside of marriage is a good thing and should be practiced often and with great enthusiasm. Yes, your husband will think about you all the time when he's at work the next day. That'll keep him coming home for lunch and dinner.

So keep things under control until you're married, then let loose.

Answer 2

Sexual thoughts are normal. Men were created by God this way (women too, but less so - in general). The chemistry of men is set up to cause a very strong sexual urge. They deal with this even after marriage. What they actually DO with these thoughts can make the difference between a 'moral' man, and an 'immoral' man.

It's hard to be the "thought police", so don't try to take on that role, and be paranoid that your boyfriend is constantly thinking about sex with every warm body that exists. Just recognize that there are temptations everywhere, and he has to battle quite a lot of "noise".

In a very strict fundamentalist marriage, you may be taught that you can distract your husband with a lot of attention, which takes a lot of work, and a lot of prayer, which may not work. Best of luck!

Answer 3

Satan uses our flesh as an instrument for sin. He also places thoughts in our minds. But we have to take captive of our thoughts and don't ponder on impure, bad things etc. to have a strong hold on us. Yes we will still look at the opposite sex and even imagine things with them, but not acting on it is what really counts. Jesus did say that just looking at someone lustfully one has committed adultery in their heart. Being married do change this a lot as far as having sex

Answer 4

It only sticks with you if you don't do the deed after wards. If you have sex and then go to work you don't think about it all day (unless it was REALLY good). If you are in marriage though I don't really see how thinking about the person you love can be bad. You married in front of God and told him what you were going to be doing. You can't do much more other than not procreating at all but then that would defeat the point in the human race.

Answer 5

I think you are over-analyzing this! First of all, sex is NOT dirty! Sex is a perfectly natural act created by God as a way to procreate. So, EVEN if you have sex outside of marriage and think about it later, I'm not sure that qualifies in and of itself as being an impure thought. A lot of times it comes down to HOW you are thinking about something. For example, I will often think of my sins in a shameful way. Are THOSE impure thoughts? I mean, WHEN I was committing these sins, I was sinning. But now, days, weeks, months, even years later, it's simply a fact of history that I did it. Now, IF I was joyful in thinking about them then that's a problem! IF I wanted to do more of the same then that's a problem! But if I am matter-of-fact about it then what? I mean, certainly I've missed the point that I SHOULD be shamed by what I did, but it's not a sin to simply think of something that you did once!

Committing sexual sins is no different than any other! What if your boyfriend thinks some vicious thoughts about a co-worker? Are you going to be okay with that, but NOT okay with him thinking about you in a sexual way?

Again, in some sense these "impure thoughts," as you call them that come AFTER the fact are nothing more than memories. For example ... imagine you two are now married and you save money for a vacation. Your husband's first day back at work after two wonderful weeks in Cancun, ALL he can think about are those white sandy beaches, the hotel, the food, the surfing, etc. Are thoughts of his wonderful time in Mexico "impure"? EVEN if it's three years later and he's STILL thinking about Cancun and EVEN if his thoughts of that wonderful vacation make him want to go again, is that impure? It's natural! It's human nature!

Look, sex is a gift from God! It feels good to us. We like it! It's good for us! The trouble with sex is that people misuse it, we abuse it. God puts constraints on it and we say, FORGET YOU! But when we make love to our mates inside marriage, as part of an overall loving relationship with each other AND with God, I would hope that we see sex as a beautiful thing! And I cannot imagine why you think it is wrong for me to think about sex with my wife (be it sex I've already had OR sex that I want to have). AS LONG as it's JUST with my wife. AS LONG as it's not an all-consuming obsession. AS LONG as I see it in its proper light, there's nothing wrong with it.

We have minds. We cannot simply turn them off like lights. Pray about what I've said. Pray for wisdom about the difference between normal thoughts and impure thoughts.

Lord bless.

Answer 6

It sounds like this is a serious question so I will give a serious answer. Jesus said if you lust in your mind for another you have commited adultry in your heart. This would be sin. If you are thinking about your wife it is not sin. Next we must mortify sin not justify it. The fact that you know it is wrong to lust means that you have a repentant heart. It is when you condone the sin and say oh it is just thoughts no problem it's ok then that is when you don't have a penatant heart.

we must try not to lust but if we do we can not say it is ok we must try not to do it again.

Answer 7

First my dear friend, pornography is one of satan best tool to catch people into sexual sins, not in deeds only but thoughts. The mind is the battlefield. That's where satan attact first, the mind. The Blble say u have to renew ur mind by the word of God daly. I mean everday. Study God's word to show ur self approval.

Answer 8

My Christian husband has sex with me on the brain. It's a very happy thought and reality for him. Our marriage is where sex belongs. He has 'made a covenant with his eyes' to choose to limit his visual sexual stimulation to me. He is entirely capable of choosing to not let sexual thoughts have free reign in his dealings and interactions with other women.

If your boyfriend prefers not to engage in some touching, then respect the boundary he feels the need to draw. Passing on pornography indicates that he is committed to sexual purity. Sexual purity refers to keeping sex in it's proper place--- marriage. If he is willing to do so when you are dating, then he is giving you every indication that he desires to reserve his sexual thoughts and enjoyment for his wife.

Answer 9

Not all men are just after sex. Some are able to control their actions and their thoughts. I don't think you or your boyfriend are given men enough credit. When you are married, you should have thoughts of your spouse and no one else, otherwise you have committed adultery. There is a difference between lust and a loving intimate relationship.

God Bless.

Answer 10

Well if he's married and the thoughts pertain to the wife and keeps her the focus of it, I would think that would be ok, no?



Women don't think stuff as much...heh...and women have been lying about that for an eternity.