He's in training now for Infantry and should finish up sometime in January or February. The way I see it there is no question that he will be sent away from me and our son who will be born around the time he finishes his training ( I know its a boy!!)for 15 months. We have known each other since age 13 and over the years he and I have been friends continuously since that time. Nevertheless he isn't my friend anymore but my husband and the nature of our relationship shifted dramatically the weekend in May of our prom. We became "legal" in a civil ceremony on August 1. He left me for Army Training on August 27th. Could he immediately be sent away or will there be some time that we could be together as a family. I assume that with the schedule of unit deployments we will have 12 months or less together. How does that work? Would they send a green soldier directly into combat from training without anytime with his wife and child? Or do they give them at least 6 months or what?
2007-10-07 15:41:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I appreciate all the input and I'm glad to know and not have my "head in the sand". These answers are very helpful to me and actually made me decide about a dilemma I have. On Friday my mother and mother in law took me to lunch and really upset me by advising me not to go with my puppy boy (my wonderful hero sigh) to his duty station. I don't think they realize how likely it is that he will be deployed and their advice was based on that and the fact that it would be easier for me to have their support with my newborn at home. Also my mother and mother in law both feel that Jamie made a BIG MISTAKE by enlisting and I influenced him. Actually, I'm extremely proud of him knowing that he will join the ranks of those who are keeping our country safe from the harm of a vicious ideology.
Anyway I know I must go with him and be with him even though it will be difficult with a newborn but he and I are a team, a partnership. He was destined to be my husband at birth and he's my love.
2007-10-07 16:37:43 · update #1
"Wife and child" have absolutely NOTHING to do with his combat readiness. He'll go when his unit goes. You need to get ready to deal with the business of life as wife of a deployed soldier. It may not be fun, it may not be pretty, but it is Life.
What? Did you think you could collar him and keep him close by getting pregnant? Lord, I hope not! Not for his sake, or yours, or that kid's. It seems you need to worry less about a "green soldier" and more about a "green woman"...and that would be you.
2007-10-07 15:52:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending where his unit is in there deployment is when he will go. Our daughter finished her training and was sent to Iraq within a month. She was at her duty station long enough to do paperwork and a little extra training.
Having a family does not matter to the military. They will send a "green" soldier. They have been trained without any thought to the family.
Why don't you get to know some wives in his unit and see what you can find out?
Otherwise I would plan for immediate deployment and be ecstatic to find out he will be home for awhile.
2007-10-07 17:01:31 · answer #2 · answered by Diane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Military units are deployed by unit... so, say there are 4 main stateside units that do what my son's unit does. At any given time, 2 will be deployed (one in Iraq, one in Afghanistan) and 2 will remain stateside, one on each coast. While stateside, they will continue to do their jobs, and to train for upcoming missions and/or deployments.
If your husband is assigned to a unit that is just returned from deployment, he'll have a nice long stretch stateside, to train with his unit. If they are just getting ready to deploy, he'll go with them.
He has a big-boy job, now. The military can not make decisions about who they will deploy or how it will work based on who's newly married and who's got a new baby in the house. That is a very tough aspect of life as a military spouse. The sooner you learn to adapt to the fact that the Army owns your husband 24/7 until his enlistment is up, and the sooner choose to SUPPORT that, no matter what it means, without complaint, the happier you will be and the better your husband will do while he's enlisted.
2007-10-07 16:44:33 · answer #3 · answered by Amy S 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most likely there will be a short period of time before he deploys...a few months..for him to get processed into the unit and prepare to go. You will know for sure what the timetable is once he gets orders to his unit after tech school.
I agree you should plan to go with him to his first duty station. However, if he is going to ship out within six months and be gone for 12-15 months, I can understand and would encourage you to consider going back home after he leaves. Many military wives do this. Deployments are extremely stressful for an experienced military wife. To be going into one as a new military wife , even more so. To be doing so while expecting your first child...again, more so. Add that you are still young (sounds like only recently out of school) and I tend to agree that while he is deployed, at least until the birth of the baby and your recovery, you should go back home. You will have the support of your families, help adjusting to being a mother and, if needed, assitance while you recover from delivery. Once things have settled, you can then head back to base and begin setting up your home and preparing for your husband.
Military life is unpredictable in many ways. It is important to use all the services and support available. If you do decide to stay on base while he is gone (and this assuming he will deploy fairly quickly) be sure to find out who the STAR wife is for his unit. STAR wives are there to help the spouses and families of deployed military members. They can introduce you to other families, plan events and can help you get help with things like lawn care, getting the care serviced, et while your husband is gone. As you are pregnant, you should also look into any mother's groups and play groups through the base's family support center. There may also be similar groups through the base chapel. off base churches and, if you deliver in a civilian hosptial, through there as well.
Wishing you the best on this journey...it is scarey and frustrating and challanging...but many here will tell you there is no other life they would choose.
2007-10-08 01:01:03 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really all depends on where they send him and how often that base deploys. You could have him 1 month or 6 months. It is tough. Being an Army wife is not an easy thing to do. The Army does not care if he has a family. They will send him where they need him. If you ever have any questions or need to talk, feel free to e-mail me.
2007-10-07 15:53:03 · answer #5 · answered by Proud Army Wife 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be prepared for it immediately. It will most likely be within 12 months and that long would be an unusual situation. I was sent within 45 days of the end of basic training. Just remember that he is doing the most honorable thing a man can do for his family and country.
2007-10-07 16:06:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it really depends on the unit he gets sent to. I hate to tell you this but he could be sent immediately after arriving to a new duty station. (by immediately I mean, after he inprocesses which takes 1 to 2 weeks he could be sent). But then he could go to a unit that just got back and not deploy for a long time. its really tough to say. it is sad but the needs of the Army are put before the needs of the family. :(
2007-10-07 16:02:27 · answer #7 · answered by krystal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whether you can live with your husband after his training depends on how soon his unit is scheduled for deployment,since he'll most likely have to put his name on a list to obtain base housing,so your mom and mil might be right.As many have said the Army OWNS your husband and to be truthful that's the way it should be,though they do go out of their way to support the families.
Retired military wife.
2007-10-07 20:18:43 · answer #8 · answered by Georgewasmyfavorite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the military doesn't care how long you've been married, or how long you get to be with your baby. You go when you're called. There were at lest 10 VERY pregnant wives at the farewell ceremony for my husbands unit. Most of these babies were due to be born within a month or two, but the guys had to go anyway. Sorry...but it's the Army. That's just how it is. he could go in a month, he could go in six months, he could not go for a year or two.
2007-10-07 17:15:50 · answer #9 · answered by ssgjwyf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on his unit. If his unit is already deployed, he will leave practically immediately. When my husband got out, his unit had just got back, so it was almost a year before he left. There's really no way to tell. He should know his unit a few weeks before Basic is over, but probably not any earlier. Be prepared for anything.
2007-10-07 15:52:21 · answer #10 · answered by Aia S 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋