I'm gay/bi and christian/religious. Need advice.?

Question

I have problems with religion, as do many, but I still choose to be a part of it and have God, simply because I believe in a God.

However 1) by nature and by birth I was more attracted to men. If this disguists people, I don't want them to tell me that I'm going to burn in hell.

Why do people have a problem with gay/bi people in religion?

Does the bible say we cannot LOVE another man? I know it says bad things about "sex" and fornication, but what about feelings and treating another person REGARDLESS of gender with love?

Is this not sexism? The bible is promoting sexism, AND homophobia, how's that for a civil rights setback?

I also came across a flyer in my church that said, "are you struggling with a same sex addiction?"

Can you believe this?

ADDICTION!?!?

Since when is having feelings for someone an addiction?

The mayor of Atlantic City, NJ killed himself recently for charges on sex with a minor, GIRL. Straight guy, addiction, its not just gays!

I think many are just DISGUISTED at the THOUGHT of two guys doing anything, so they say, HEY it's not ME and my life, so to hell with them, let them burn.

That's promotion of discrimination, prejudice and hate.

The bible is promoting that!

That's awful. Awful awful.

Do I agree with all the gay sex out there? No.

Do I agree with all the STRAIGHT sex out there? No.


DO I think that two MEN that are in love or at least loving with each other, and are otherwise morally sound and don't have sex all the time, deserving of going to heaven?

Y E S.

To Lily, I have to laugh at your answer. The "effeminate" shall not get to heaven? HA. Sounds to me like whoever wrote the bible was just some intellecutal H U M A N, who like George Bush, feels he was inspired by God, so he wrote what HE thinks are holy characteristics.

Please. Some people are BORN effeminate or have the characteristics the BIBLE describes are wrong.

Maybe it's time people threw this **** into the fireplace, it's starting to piss me off.

Answer 1

Here's the thing... God calls us to hate sin, but love the sinner.

There are a lot of confused people and misconceptions that people are abusing and/or spreading to fit their (non-biblically based) beliefs. However, the truth is that while Jesus was on earth, he spent time with prostitutes, tax collectors (which were some of the biggest sinners of the time for all their lying, cheating, and stealing), lepers, and other people that “holy” people back then wouldn’t go anywhere near. He LOVED these people… but he hated their sin, as the sin was an abomination against God.

The two major mistakes that people don’t realize is that:
1) There is a HUGE difference between the sin and the sinner
2) “Love” has a LOT of meanings

To expand on #1, people that have children or pets really understand this easier… you can absolutely love the child or pet to death, but get easily frustrated over something bad that they do. God really sees us like a small child that he loves to no end. It’s just like when a parent might get really ticked off when their child or pet intentionally makes a mess that is difficult to clean up (whether “messing” on the carpet or taking a big bowl of Spaghetti and smearing on the wall and carpet). God loves us past the sin, but he still hates the sin.

To expand on #2, the way you’re using “love” is to suit your own desires. Men should love one another (as you quoted)… but out of brotherly love (caring for the other person, what happens to them, what they think, etc), not sexual love. A parent can love their child more than anything in life… but even the thought of sex with them is revolting. It’s completely different than sexual love or "relationship love".
The bible does specifically say that sex outside of marriage (fornication, or adultery if either party is married) is a sin… it goes outside of the intention that God has for righteousness. The bible also says that homosexuality (a man having sex with a man or a woman having sex with a woman) is a sin for the same reason.

It has nothing to do with sexism by today’s standards… back in biblical times, women were seen differently than men, but that’s a sociological debate that we won’t get into here. The bible doesn’t promote homophobia, just like it doesn’t promote fearing prostitutes… it just calls it what it is… a sin. It also has nothing to do with civil rights, as those weren’t made until almost 1900 years after the last book of the bible was written… you’re making it into a political issue that it isn’t. I’m not going to go into that because that’s not what your question is, but I thought it important to at least address these points that you made.

I think the flyer you saw in your church was leaning on a crutch of a common phrase. “Same sex addiction” is a phrase that some self-righteous person (that didn’t understand the point of the bible very well) came up with several years ago. I recall hearing it since the 80s (I wasn’t alive before that, so I can’t say anything about before that), and obviously it caught on… I believe he was going along the same lines as sex addiction in general (people that slept around). I wish I could apologize on behalf of the Christian church for so many vocal people being ignorant of the basics behind what they’re preaching so loudly about.

Yes, people of both sexes and all “sexual preferences” can make mistakes and do things that they wish they didn’t. Unfortunately, humans are weak and succumb to sin more often than they may like to… that sinful nature can really be a kick in the pants more often than we care to admit.

Answer 2

Oh jeez people, he's gay. There are gays out there, and there will soon be many more. Being gay is not immoral.

You try to tell me what is wrong with being gay without saying anything about any religion bullsh*t? You can't. Religion is there for a guideline, to keep people in order. Use it to help you, not corrupt you.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with homosexuality, and as far as I know, the Bible doesn't directly say that it is. Morality means what is right, not what is written in some book.

It's sad that even churches refer to it as an "addiction". It is a way of life that is given to some people at birth, or religiously put, chosen by God =not a sin.

It's also funny (in a not-so-funny way) how people are telling you that you are just confused about your sexual orientation. Confused? How could you be confused? I realize that some gays get confused over whether or not they are really gay since society tells us that being gay is wrong. But if you already know you are gay, there can be no confusion.

I think you should still hang onto your Christianity as it does a lot of good for people, but be weary of the corrupt Christians out there who were misinformed about the purpose of the Bible. You are certainly not going to hell for being gay.

Gay means happy! So be happy!

-Rich :)

Answer 3

I think you are over thinking this whole thing. It is ok to find another male attractive as long as you don't see him in a sexual way you're NOT gay, most of my guy friends are straight but if they see a good looking guy they will admit they were good looking, but won't say "OMG he's so hot". Also the fact that you are still a virgin, might make you so scared of getting sexually close to a woman that you won't get aroused because you are scared of messing up in that situation. Just relax and take it one step at the time.

Answer 4

There are churches out there that are more open to homosexuals. It may take some seeking, but I hope you can find one in your area.

Many people are normally uncomfortable with certain aspects of sex as it is. Throw in something completely different to them and they really freak out.

I think the only way to deal with certain people's reactions is just to mentally put the problem onto them. It's their hang up - not yours - that is causing the grief. So let them be the only ones that suffer from it. Don't belittle them for it or even get angry with it. Just recognize that they're the ones with the issue and they're the ones that need to deal with it. The more dignified you hold yourself in those situations, the more you'll gain the respect of those you might not have gotten it from before.

Your faith and relationship with God is between you and God. It is not between you and everyone else's opinion of you. So you can still have your faith and remain gay/bi as well.

Matt

Answer 5

Well, none of us wrote the word. It does state in the Bible that being with the same sex "gays" is a bombnation in the eyes of God. If God intended for us to be with the same sex he wouldn't have made man and woman. I feel you have a great heart, but a great heart alone will not get us into heaven. We must Obey. There is so much bad in the world today because of the choices we, as humans make. You are on the right path, but you need to fix some things in your life, and this can be done by prayer. I wish you the best of luck and I know God will show you the way. Please don't feel I am judging you from everything I said. :))))

Answer 6

I am a christian and although i believe that being gay/bi is wrong i dont think that you are going to hell if u are saved no matter what you do. it is written in the bible and i forgot the chapter ull have to google it or something "man is not to lay with a man as with a women as that is an abomination...." i believe that being biased toward you just cause of your sexuality is wrong but i dont think being gay/bi is right

Answer 7

You can love another man.....you just can't physically love him. get it?

I have a friend, and I love him to death, I can go to him about anything and vice versa...but I'm not attracted to him or anything, it's like "brotherly" love(as they would say in phili)

I love gay people, blacks, Asians, pagans, atheists, penguins, and yes...even spiders(I hate snakes though...shhhh don't tell them).

Everything is deserving of my love, and hopefully I'm deserving of everyone love.

Now, as far as it being a sin....did you know Jesus never spoke about homosexuality(except "marriage is between a man and a woman")? True...He didn't. If you do not lust, fornicate, or sodomize....there is nothing different between a gay person and a straight person who is not married.

Everything is an addiction. Yahoo!answers, Coca-Cola, religion, yard sales, etc. If it becomes the norm in someones life they're going to be addicted...

And yeah....I love how you're saying it promoting prejudice...when it's not "my love comes for all" who said that? Jesus did....

Answer 8

Hi Luke,
I wish I could tell you whatever it is you need to hear that will make you better and happier as a person and as a christian.
That is a very difficult challenge in the space of a couple of paragraphs. Your questions are more complex than that. This is not a major question of yours, but it is one of the simpler ones to address. I think you are mistaking the intent of the sex-addiction flyer. That is not you. That flyer was not created with your situation in mind. That is for people whose lives are preoccupied with sex to the point that their lives are falling apart because of it due to the energy and time devoted to thinking about sex and actually doing it. Your problem is about putting some order to all these thoughts in your head. How can you proceed with your life in a sane manner when you have two major portions of it in upheaval. I can't answer your question in one fell swoop. I don't know your age, but I'm assuming you're a teenager or young adult. I know it seems an impossible task, but my advice is for you to first and foremost focus on your school studies and those things which will lead to you having a stable adult career. This is serious business. Extremely serious, getting an education and a vocation. These upheavals technically are more important, but I sincerely believe you should try to tune those out and focus on your studies. I will write more later. Or you can e-mail me if you want.

Answer 9

You have to remember that most Christians actually know very little about their own religion and therefore don't know what the hell they're talking about. Consider this:

The story of Sodom and Gomorrah in chapter 19 of Genesis is often offered as an example by many Christians that homosexuality is bad/evil. They note that God's angels destroyed these cities (true) and that they did this in order to eradicate the homosexuals who were dwelling there (false). I have never met one Christian who has been aware that the story of S&G never once states that the destruction of the cities was due to the God's desire to eradicate homosexuals who were living there. Over the years it was INTERPRETED to be a about gays but in actuality it is not. If you read the story yourself, you will see that there is no mention about homosexuality as the reason the cities were destroyed. The reason it was interpreted as a story about gays is because of a few sentences in the story which are vague and therefore open to interpretation by anyone. These sentences have to do with part of the story where the citizens of Sodom demanded to "know" the angels (who came to visit Lot and his family) and it was later BELIEVED that this "knowing" was really a euphamism for sex. According to this view, the men of Sodom were homosexuals and God punished them for their sexual orientation. This interpretation (and that's what it is - an interpretation) "stuck" and now most Christians just believe it to be true.

Long story short, don't refer to Christians for any answers to religious questions, especially ones that involve sexual orientation because they usually don't know jack about their own religion.

Answer 10

I think you can be in a loving relationship with a person of the same sex, an upstanding citizen or a good family man, if that is what you want. I support equal treatment under the law.

But I'm not religious, so I can't help you with what everyone else believes. The thing is, the point after Leviticus 18:22 calls homosexuality an "abomination," it says that shellfish is an "abomination." But you don't see Christians boycotting shellfish. They cherry pick the mosaic laws, based on personal dislike of homosexual unions.

Edit: Looks like you have a lot of angry people on this forum. Don't worry about them. We're in a secular democracy. I'm an atheist so I'm often threatened with hellfire, but they can't do anything to ban us. There is still discrimination against gays in the US, but policies are changing slowly, and they've already updated in Europe and Canada. Here's a drink: To freedom to enjoy life, without their prejudice.