I have tried to make it easy on her by not telling her that I miss her so much when she is gone..I have not spoken ill of her father. I have kept every bad deed he has done from her verbally. She wakes up crying on the weekends she has to spend the day with him begging me to tell her it is not Saturday/ Sunday. I try to make leaving me quick and painless. I hold any tears I have until she is gone..I try to only think happy thoughts so she won't get a negative vibe from me...He is not physically abusing her...but It kills me. How can I make this easier on her. I love her more than life. I would and I do anything/everything for her.
2007-10-07 14:54:24 · 7 answers · asked by CherryCheri 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
The court battle lasted 3 years - He was ordered to get anger management - he had supervisied visits with her for 2 and a half years...well..supervised with my mom and his parents...not really helpful...I have my lawyer on back child support, etc..but I just want to make this easier on her...She does not deserve to be unhappy because her mommy made a awful mistake. I know I sound bitter here..but I do not let any of that come around her. I speak highly of him and his parents around her...but she is a bright child..I am trying so hard to make this easier for her.
2007-10-07 15:10:22 · update #1
She is now having a nightmare, calling help me! Please help me...Dear God...I am getting off the computer and please..someone have some advice that will help..my baby is hurting.
2007-10-07 15:21:48 · update #2
I agree with most of what the others are saying. Ask her if something is going on, but do it in a way that isn't putting words into her mouth. I went through this earlier this year with my now 5 year old daughter. She told me that something had happened with her father and my ex's attorney wouldn't let me get a word in edge wise because of heresay. Teach her right from wrong touches and make sure that she understands that she can say no. I would also take it back to court and tell the judge what she does every week. Good luck.
2007-10-07 15:25:41 · answer #1 · answered by orphan annie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds from what you posted that she doesn't see him all that often. For a 3 year old to be left with anyone for a large amount of time when they are not normally with that person will cause anxiety for her. Children get seperation anxiety very easy at this age.
How is your relationship with the father? Is it good enough that you can tolerate each other enough to possibly have him come over to visit extra time during the week at your place so she is comfortable and sees that it truly is okay for her to be around him?
Toddlers are very observant little imps. Even if you aren't vocalizing what you are feeling she's picking up on it and also realizes that you don't spend time with him so she doesn't understand why she has to.
Definately you need to come up with a way for her to be more comfortable with him. If it includes bringing the courts back into it so that he learns how to deal with her anxiety then so be it. But it does sound very normal.
2007-10-07 15:10:50 · answer #2 · answered by starfire978 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
speak well of daddy all the time like "isnt daddy a good daddy? he bought ice cream and he loves to see you!"
"daddy works hard to earn things for you cause he loves you"
Thank you for this question
I have contemplated what would it be if I divorced my spouse what a hard thing to do even when there is good cause. I have a 3 year old also and we talk about our daddy like this all the time...even when it is less than wonderful at home. God bless hope it gets easier
2007-10-07 15:11:17 · answer #3 · answered by just duky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There DEFINATELY is something going on that is upsetting her . Try using play therapy to ask her whats going on when she is with daddy. Maybe u can also try spending a day with her to easy up the tension and for her to get the feeling that mommy and daddy r friends.
2007-10-07 15:13:13 · answer #4 · answered by mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very suspicious if a 3 year old is going to cry when she goes and see's her father.
I would get a counselor to talk to you about it, and see how she/he feels.
Then get it on paper, or have her go in as a witness to what's going on
Take her to Baskin robins befoer she goes.
Take her somewhere fun AFTEr you get her back
This will remind her how much fun it is to be with YOU!
2007-10-07 16:46:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its time to have the court issue a new evaluation of their time together. Its possible they would do better with some supervised visitations and not her being off alone.
Kids do not tend to have this big of an aversion, even to abusive parents, unless something pretty uneasy is happening.
I think its time to look into it farther.
2007-10-07 14:59:40 · answer #6 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Investigate , she could be being abused, or she could just not like her dad.
2007-10-07 14:59:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋