i think its depression?

Question

i have a son who is an adult now and i think he is suffering from depression.i live in georgia and he is in florida.i went to visit all my children and when i went to see him he wouldn't answer the door.his neighbor came from across the street and said matthew had been depressed lately and becoming a lone.he won't answer my phone calls or his sisters.i had a sinking feeling feeling and was so hurt when i had to leave without seeing him and telling him i love him in person.as i said i am in another state and i am wondering if anything can be done even though he is an adult.if you can helpi would greatly appreciate it.i love my second born dearly.

Answer 1

it looks like depression - i used to have a mild form (was acting a bit like that) and got over it with counseling. Don't panick because it may be mild too. How long has he been like that? Maybe there is something going on in his life you don't know about, like a breakup or difficulties at work, in which case withdrawing to yourself for a short time is a completely normal reaction (it would be worrying if someone who just broke up was acting all cheerful).

One problem is that you live far away. Maybe you can liaise with someone who lives closer, like his sisters or girlfriend or friends and talk to them see what they say. It is very important that you speak with a mental health specialist where you live, because they can help you find ways to help him even from far away.

If this depression is going on for a long time he needs to see a specialist, but of course you can't force him - although you can always try to convince him, often children get influenced by their parents even when they are grown up. Again, if you speak to a mental health specialist they can tell you how to best approach the issue without scaring your son and putting him off therapy rather than convince him to do it.

Finally, if this situation ends up becoming really destructive to himself (which I hope it won't), like he has to eat and go to work I presume, so he has to leave the house at some point or he will get physically ill, then I would resort even to physical force to get him out of there. If it takes too long it may be worth flying over and taking extreme measures (including forcing him to see someone), but let's hope other things will work and you won't have to.

Maybe you can send him nice letters, not in order to nag about your worries but to make him love life again and the postman will put them through his door so you can reach him even without going there or calling him. He may not reply, or not right away, but if he is depressed and sad with his life deep down he needs to see someone cares even if he acts like he doesnt. His sisters can do that too.

A psychologist can also help you handle your own hurt feelings so that you will feel better and hopeful and know how to help your son rather than despairing and not helping or even making things worse.

Don't give up, have hope and with the right help you will be able to help him too. don't hesitate to take second opinions if you are not happy with the specialist you contact first. And, although I hope it is mild and he may even get over it by himself, be also prepared to spend some money and energy because in some cases as I said even his life can be in danger. I only say this because some people dont trust psychologists or find them too expensive but I can see you are prepared to do much about your son and, well, even if you get answers on yahoo answer from psychologists you really need a longer term consultation in order to have results.

Good luck and hope everything works out well!

Answer 2

Send him a card and tell him you were concerned because you did not have the chance to see him. Tell him what you wrote on here. He might not reply to your cards but he will appreciate them. Also, have his other siblings get involved. Maybe he will talk to one of them. I recommend him seeing a mental health professional. Depression is treatable with medication and counseling.

Answer 3

You might ask the local police to do a "well being check". When they do they can express your concern, and ask him to call you. They will also call you and let you know that he is alright.