How did you know you were ready for children?

Question

If you made a conscious decision to have a child (not an accidental pregnancy - not against it, just looking for different info), what went through your mind? What kind of conversations did you have with your partner in order to decide together when to have a child?

Answer 1

We are hoping to have our first child together in the next 6 months to one year... YAY!!!

We both agree about the timing, thank God, cause I understand that is often a major issue between couples...

{What went through my mind...} We both knew for forever that we wanted kids, but now that our income is more steady and reliable, we feel comfortable doing it. Everyone says you can never afford kids, and I don't want to wait around until it's too late and find out it's not gonna happen (I'm 28 now.). I can't explain the change, but all of a sudden, after years of carefully preventing pregnancy, I realized, "We are grown up, we are committed and in love, we want children, we're great with kids--This is something we really are capable of doing..."

Since we aren't really starting to officially try yet, I'm trying to think of every issue possible to pre-plan--
Will I get an epidural?
If our baby's a boy, will we circumsize?
Will we use corporal punishment?
Will we send him/her to public/private school?
Who wakes up in the night with baby?
Who changes diapers?
Will people smoke around our baby?
Will we drink with a child at home (NOT get drunk)?
Is church important to us? Regulary or sometimes?
...and so on. Then, I put my answers and he puts his and we can compare and see what we already agree on and what needs to be ironed out before it's a major issue...

There is so much to consider, I think, that it's great to be able to plan these things ahead of time... After all, much of life is not up to us to decide. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

Answer 2

You are never ready!
I am nervous as heck but I know when I found the person I want to have children with and who thought the same as I did on having children. We were ready 2 years ago but complications in getting pregnant made things difficult. But since then our lives have changed...for the better. And now looking back we were not in the best position to raise children as we are now.

We still ask eachother - what kind of parent are we going to be? how our lives will change and all the things that we now have to consider before doing anything. And with all the answers we knew that we would be there for one another and whatever came our way we would and will be willing to get through them. So just making sure we new how tough things are going to be we still wanted to have kids - just made the decision eaiser.

Answer 3

Having children was something I knew I wanted ever since I was a child.
So, I can't say I ever sat down with my partner and discussed anything. He knew what I wanted before entering the relationship from previous conversations and that was all that needed to be said.

Answer 4

I've always wanted children and so did my husband. We weren't ready right away (of course) but we gradually started talking about it more and more. I was having this feeling of just NEEDING a baby. I'm sure someone out there can understand that, even though it sounds weird. When I finally felt that I was ready, I told my husband about it and after a little while of talking about it, we decided we could start trying. So I finished that particular round of birth control and then stopped taking it. I was pregnant within a month.

Answer 5

I was a single Mom for 7 years before I met my husband and I decided I didn't want anymore, then I met my hubby. (I never thought I would meet someone who was right for me) Sure enough we talked about what we both wanted from the future and I of course changed my mind... 34 weeks preggo. We decided we didn't want to wait too long so we started trying right away!

Answer 6

My husband told me the day we got married that despite what he had said before our wedding, he NEVER wanted to have kids. I didnt take him seriously.

I knew I wanted kids since I was a kid. I dont remember ever making that conscious choice, I just knew thats what I was made to do, and nothing could ever make me happier than a husband and children.

I got pregnant quite by accident. I had been hoping it would happen, trying to trick my husband into it... we hit all the right times (without him knowing), but it didnt happen for 1.5 years. I finally stopped trying and decided that since there was nothing else in my life that could complete me, God would have to make it happen. So I stopped trying.

We slipped up that next month and had unprotected sex on my period.

We now have an 8 month old son, and my husband who was so afraid of babies, is THE best dad I have ever in my life seen.

I planned to have a baby then, HE didnt.