What is your favourite joke?

Answer 1

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next
day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic,
19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round
her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The
sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing,
he finally catches her and has his way with her. The same girl shows up for the next four
days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted
to find he has lost 10 lb. as promised. He then calls the company and orders their 5-day,
20 lb. program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful,
sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.
She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes
and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you can catch me you can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot! This girl is in excellent shape and it
takes him quite a while to catch her but when he does, it's definitely worth every muscle
cramp and wheeze. So for the next four days the same routine happens. Much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover that he has lost another 20 lb. as promised.

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day 50 lb. program. "Are
you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds this huge,
muscular 7ft man standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign
around his neck that reads, "I'm Francis. If I catch you, you're mine...".

Answer 2

There was a very bad man that was sent to hell after he died for his very bad deeds...

He then meet Satan. Behind Satan were three doors of hell punishment, he wants the man to pick one of the doors behind.

The first door was a chamber 2 big ugly guys with knives that will stab him endless. The man cried and said to Satan "I wont pick this door".

Then they went to the 2nd door.. big rocks from above will endless fall into him. The man doesn't like the 2nd door either.

Then the last door was a hot woman making bl0w j*b to the old man. The bad man was a bit happy and picked the 3rd door.

Then Satan said to the hot woman "Hey you can go now someone here replaces you"

Answer 3

A man walks into a butchers and says to the butcher "Do you have a sheeps head?" and the butcher says "No, its just the way I part my hair!"

Two nuns drriving down the street in a mini and a vampire jumps on the bonnet. One nun says to the other "Show him you're cross!" and the nun shouts "Get off me bloody bonnet!" (imagine yorkshire accent for both!)

Answer 4

a Mummy and Daddy balloon are in bed one night when baby balloon decides to join them as he's feeling a bit lonely. He tries to get in between them both but there isn't enough room.He lets a little bit of air out of Daddy and a little bit out of Mummy but still there isn't enough room. After several goes at this he decides to let some air out of himself. When he is fully deflated he fits in and snuggles up to Mum and Dad.

The next morning daddy is furious, well son he said " not only have ya let me and your Mum down youv'e let yourself down too"

Answer 5

Mrs. Humperfaster joke:
okay, so there was this kid and a teacher named mrs humperfaster.After school, the kid told the teacher to take off her clothes, mrs. humperfaster said no, and the kid said well i'll tell my parents and they will tell your boss and you'll get fired. So she took off her clothes.
Then the kid said get on the table. And mrs.humperfaster said no way i will do that. And the kid said well then I will tell my parents and they will tell your boss and you will get fired.
So the teacher got on the desk:
The kid started doing her, right, and then the principal came in and said:
Oh my got Mrs humperfaster! Hump-her-fast-er!
And the kid said "IM TRYING!".

Answer 6

Sorry but I can't pick just one!! Any joke that makes me laugh is my favorite!

Answer 7

I can't tell you, I got violated last time I posted it.

I have another though..
Colleen, a young Irish lass goes home and tells her mother that she's pregnant. Her mother answers.."Are you sure it's yours?"

Answer 8

a boy named johnny godeeper asked his female teacher to stay after class. She said yes. Wen they were alone johnny told her get naked or else.... so she got naked and sat on a table. His parents came in and said johnny godeeper. He humped her. They said it again. he got on the table and poof, they had sex.

Answer 9

a recent study asked women if c**t twitched after sex, 98 % said no , he just lies there scratching his balls.

Answer 10

i have a few but they're not very suitable :)
message if u wanna know xD