My 2 1/2 yr old son is out of control..........HELP?

Question

My son is the middle child, I jokingly blame the way he acts on "the middle child syndrom." Seriously though, wow he has gotten way out of control. I have lloked at the SuperNanny site, Dr Phil, and nothing seems to help. He is very strong willed. I am at a loss. If you put him in time out, you have to stand there or he will not stay...then he tries to bite you. If you spank him, he laughs at you....then he will charge you once you turn around and try to hit you or worse punch you. If he does not get his way he litterally will pick up toys and throw them in any direction. We have aq new baby and I knew it would be an issue with him, but I never thought it would be this bad. I have seen my share of rowdy children but he takes the cake on rowdy and mean. I stopped spanking him because it got to the point where it does not phase him at all and he just charges you and tries to get you worse. HELP ME, he will not win this battle I wont let him but I need advise. he will not win this no way.

Answer 1

Hmmm.....terrible twos, middle-child syndrome -- I think you've got a great "rebellious child" cocktail going! I'm no expert, but here's what I would do. I would definitely not back down from the discipline and in fact I would remain even more consistent and ensure the consequences appropriately match the crime. For instance things like hitting or biting Mom is NOT, under any circumstances tolerated. So, if the spankings don't work, then perhaps, as someone has already suggested, the belt. If you don't feel comfortable with actually hitting him with the belt, perhaps you can put a little fear in him and bring it out, slap it on a table or something, to get his attention. And always remember that you are the parent and he is the child, YOU are running the show not him. If it's necessary for you to put him in a room for time out and stand and hold the door so that he doesn't escape, then do it. Like you said, don't let him win. Keep this motto.
Along with this very strong discipline style, give him a very equal amount of mommy love when he IS behaving. Lavish him with hugs and kisses and words of praise. Be generous with attention when he is behaving the way you want. Make him feel like a little prince. This will reinforce the good behavior. The only thing I would suggest is not to spoil him with candy or toys. You want him to behave because it is what is expected of him. Besides, the most precious reward to a child is the affection of his parents.
A wonderful quote that I picked up off the Oprah show by some child psychologist was that there are "two hands of love". One hand is for love and affection and the other is for discipline and guidance. With both hands you will raise a healthy, well adjusted child.
Good Luck!

Answer 2

Stop seeing those idiots and use thine hand. Here's how you do it:

Step 1: Position child over knee, with pants down. Bare buttocks should be exposed.
Step 2: While holding the hand as if you were to smack a pimp, smack the child over the exposed buttocks(***) hard enough to cause pain, but not hard enough to do damage. The goal is to get the child to connect inability to sit for an hour with bad behavior, which will cause the child to cease to do the behavior connected with the inabilit to sit. Do not exceed 5 licks for anything short of vandalism.
Step 3: Release child after pulling their pants up for them.
Step 4: Enjoy the improved behavior.

Congrats, you have spanked your child! This isn't abuse, abuse is smacking him over the head with a rolled up Encyclopedia Brittanica untill he screams I give up. This is very effective, and should be used first. Taking things away, grounding, they don't work. Also, don't go crazy with it. You are only punishing, not trying to harm him, so no bruises or anything.. This was used on me maybe three or four times before I stopped being an ***.

Answer 3

I only have one child but I was constantly babysitting his cousins day and night. He rebelled due to my paying attention to the other children. He would push them down, throw things at them, smack them. He wouldn't stay in timeout, he would laugh if i smacked his behind and I thought I would lose my mind. One day I told him he was not going to have anyone or anything to play with until he knocked it off. I unplugged the tv and locked all of his toys in another room; as soon as he would pick something up, I would take it off of him. It took some time...and some heartbreak on my part but eventually he figured out every time he acted up this was going to happen. Now he is grown and the very best of friends with those same cousins. Good luck.

Answer 4

Have you thought about counsleing for yourself? Have you given him a bit of time devoted to just him? (maybe this will work?) There seems to be a much deeper issue if the behavior isn't stopping. I used an incentive for the kids in our classroom If you want that you have to do this.. if that has been tried and failed... get him medically tested it could be a chemical imbalance in the brain. for 6-8 weeks write down everything he does, you've tried what works what doesnt work., observe observe observe...talk to your child's pediatrician and come up with a solution before someone or himself gets hurt.

Answer 5

I beg you to not listen to these people who tell you to spank your child. Hitting is WRONG! We teach our children not to hit and then parents turn around and hit their children when they misbehave. What a mixed message we are sending!

I have 2 sons and have been through similiar situations in which you can not get them to stay in a time out and/or they try to hit. You need to put him/her in a room and shut the door and do not let them out until they apologize and/or realize what they did was wrong. They need time to cool off and then you sit down with him and talk through what happened, how he felt, and what made him do what he did. There could be underlying issues with his behavior. Are you paying enough attention to him? Sometimes kids act out in a negative way to get attention. If he can't speak his mind, have him draw pictures of how he feels.

I promise you it will get better with age. My youngest son was the same way at 2 years old. I had him tested for every possible disorder and nothing is wrong with him - just his temperment. He is now 6 and still gets mad about things, but has learned to control his temper. He has an "angry" place that he can go to when he gets mad to cool off.

As hard as it is, try to remain calm when he has his tantrums. Getting upset, yelling, and spanking just adds fuel to the fire. You need to remain in control and let him know his behavior will not be tolerated and that he needs to leave the room when he is out of control. He will get it - I promise!

Good luck!

Answer 6

well i have 4 younger syblings and ive expirienced the worse....have you been spending seperate time with him, just maybe watching tv or drawing? or maybe whene he does good give him a treat but not food because children need to know food isnt a prize...maybe small toys or a trip to a park! and if hes acting too out of control maybe try too talk to him calmly if that dosnt work then ignore him until he apoligizes (teach him if he dosnt know what that is) and explain what he did wrong to him whene he calms down..hope i helped a little BYE

Answer 7

sounds like he needs to be put in a room with no toys, no tv, no nothing maybe except a bed. That is what i had to do with my son, and it shows them that you are not going tolerate them acting that way. I really wish you luck, my son took to this punishment very well, now he knows when he does something wrong, his punishment is he gets nothing to play with for as long as i specify depending on what he did. ITs hard, very hard, but it does work.

BTW i did not literallylock him in a room, but he went in his room without the tv on and was not allowed to play with any of his toys and when he did pick them up to play with them, i took a garbage back and pretended to throw it away!!! and did not give them back to him until he started to act better.

Answer 8

Sounds like my son! He used to put his knees on the toilet and then just sort of lean over and let his little penis hang and that is how he would pee. I blame it on me potty training him alone and not having a male influence around at the time. But all i did was have him stand and sink cheerios in the toilet, worked the first time!

Answer 9

"Preparing Children for a New Baby
First, yes, you have many great reasons to be excited, but don't let the excitement take over your thoughts and words. That'll just make the kids insecure about their position with you. It's fine to show some excitement, but not every minute of every day.

Second, dealing with your child's security when he or she may be feeling like a replacement is on the way is really important. She needs to know that your love for her will never change. He wants to know that he'll always be you're "little man". Read more below:

Our son was almost two when his sister was born. He was so excited about the baby, which we found surprising. So, we worked on explaining to him what life with another child would be like. I had read a lot about jealousy problems with the new baby and didn't want to see some of these horror stories crop up in our home. So the brainwashing commenced as early as possible (please don't take that literally!)

We took each problem area and broke it down into individual concepts. Remember, you are the only one who knows your child and what he or she is capable of comprehending. The following suggestions are just that, suggestions. They worked for us, but I can't promise they will work for everyone. You will have to adapt them in a way that will work for your family.

"How do I make sure he doesn't think he's being replaced?" One way to counter this one is to affirm your child's special place in your family. This child is going to be the big brother or sister in a few months. One way to address this is, "Wow! You're getting to be such a big boy. You're going to be a great big brother! But you'll always be my baby boy and I'll always love you! No one will ever be able to take your place. And I don't want anyone to try because they can't do it! You are special. God made you in a special way and He didn't and won't make anybody like you!" You'll need to break some of this down into bite-sized tidbits depending on your child's age. I didn't dump all this on my son at one time.

"What if she thinks I love the baby more than her?" Same thought as above applies here. I addressed it by telling my son that he is so precious to me and will always be so precious to me. I also told him that little babies need a lot of mommy's time in taking care of them because they can't do anything for themselves. "So, when you see Mommy spending a lot of time with the baby, it's just because he or she can't do anything. I will give you special time just you and me when the baby is sleeping or able just to lie down and play by herself. And I bet she'll enjoy you trying to play with her and talking to her, too!".

"How do I prepare him for a permanent addition to our family?" This one can be really hard because of children's limited concept of time. Again, I'll share with you how I handled this one. "Sweetie, when the baby comes out of Mommy's tummy, she will come here and live with us. And the baby will always live with us. She won't be going back to the hospital when she cries too much. She will stay here every day and night!" I also took this opportunity to reiterate to him that "we all will love the baby very much, but we will also keep loving you very much, too!".

There's also one very important factor to remember is helping your children adjust to the new baby. Don't make the baby off limits to the older children. Let them hold the baby, with your assistance of course. Let them have a sense of "ownership" or connection, too. After all, this baby is their sibling, not just your son or daughter. I have heard many moms complain about the older child's jealousy of the new baby. Then I ask if the child has been able to touch and hold the baby. The answer has always been no, they're too afraid that the child will hurt the baby. If you are there monitoring the child's interaction with the baby, then nothing can happen. But making the baby off-limits will only make the green eyed monster worse.

I hope this helps you and your family enjoy the special arrival more happily! It's a very special time for all of you! "

Answer 10

You should put him in a room AND LOCK HIM!!
If he gets out you should pray to God that he won't do anything bad anymore! and LOCK HIM AGAIN! if it doesn't work... well he is pretty young... is there a reason he hits you? or just does it at random times?