wedding invites?

Question

I am having the hardest time trying to figure out the wording on my invites.
My future in-laws are divorced. My mother-in-law has been dating someone for 7 seven years and my father-in-law has a boyfriend which he lives with and helps raise my fiance and all his siblings. Everyone wants to be named and I have no clue how to do it and please everyone since I am from a very traditional family. I am trying not to offend anyone by leaving them out but dont want to scare my family who does not even believe in divorces....HELP

Everyone, including moms boyfriend is chipping in for the wedding and helped raised my fiance...

Answer 1

I agree with the last poster. You cannot name all of the parental players without it distracting from the point of the invitation which is it announce your nuptials. I would use the Together with their Parents standard spiel as opposed to writing that all out on an invite that would quickly get cluttered. Here are some more example wordings. You could create a program with a section honoring them but really if people haven't remarried their partners aren't supposed to be named anyway. Good luck.

http://www.bridesmate.com/i_word2.asp?type=INVITATION&verse=9

Answer 2

Usually it would be Your parents hosting the wedding of Bride to Groom, son of mom and dad. And you wouldn't call them Mr and Mrs Groom but Ms Groom's mom and Mr Grooms dad. B/c he is the SON of those 2--he is not the son of the new girlfriends and boyfriends.

Mr & Mrs Robertson request the honour of your presence at the wedding of their daughter
Mary Jane Robertson
to
John Doe
son of Ms. Sarah Doe and Mr. Sam Doe.



This is weird if the new step dad raised him and he feels really close to the 7 year relationship. Often brides/grooms want that person included. But in your case--neither your future MIL or FIL are actually remarried. Therefore this person is in no way related to groom. The hosts are the individuals who helped raise bride and groom.

When you walk in to the reception--the boyfriends should be sitting down at a table. The mother of the groom and the father of the groom would make a formal entrance (together or separately depending on their relationship). If you wish, you can not have a head table. Then the mother and father can each go sit with their boyfriends during the reception. But they should not be honored as hosts when they are not.

That is the proper etiquette. Of course this is your wedding and you dont have to be traditional. Individual circumstances can alter how the groom feels about the parents relationships.

(PS its also very important to include your last name. Often people think "well I said Mr and Mrs Robertson are hosting, of course I have their last name" but with the number of remarriages, often a child doesn't have the same last name. I got one recently that had the brides first and middle name, Megan Grace, without last name. We couldn't find them on a registry!)

Answer 3

Do you have to name everyone? I know you say they all want to be named, but is this the only option they're willing to live with? The easiest way I see to do this (and this is what we did since there's also a lot of step-parents on my fiance's side) is just to put something like

Together with their families
Wonder Woman
and
Super Man
request the honor of your presence at their marriage
etc.

If his parents really insist on having their names on the invite, you could try something like

Mr. and Mrs. Your Parents (assuming they're hosting)
invite you to the wedding of
Wonder Woman
and
Super Man
the son of
Mrs. Mother Man
and
Mr. Father Man and Mr. Partner

Technically, if his mother's boyfriend has had no part in raising him, he shouldn't be listed on the invite. You may have to make an executive decision here - you can't please all the people all the time!

Answer 4

Who is paying shouldn't figure into how you word your invites.

Unless you pare it down to a maximum of the couple and their blood parents, your invitations are going to look like the back pages of programs for community theater shows, with the "thanks to our generous sponsors" list. The only alternative is to not mention parents at all, which seems wise in your case. Just start "The honor of your presence ..." and go on to name bride & groom, list place and time.

Perhaps you make a condition of placing your printing order that the printer advise your four new inlaws that it would take a bill board, not a note card, to include all that information. Then you aplogize for their disappointemtn and promise ot thank them lavishly by name during the toasts, and sing their praises at the reception, as in "Yes, the cake was delicious. I can't thank Dave and Lynn enough."

(BTW, it's "The pleasure of your company ..." if the ceremony is not in a church.)

Answer 5

Hi and congratulations:

Ummmm....this is too difficult to name everyone.

1. You mother-in-law COULD be named, but not the person she is "dating" as he is not legally married to her.

2. And, your father-in-law has a boyfriend? Again, the father-in-law COULD be named, but not the boyfriend.

In this case, you really should simply say

Together with their parents
Amy Sue Johnson
and
Thomas Allen Smith
request the honor or your presence
as they exchange marriage vows
on
[date]
[place] , etc.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Who is paying for the wedding does not dictate whose names are included on the invitation.
Having the parents names on the invitation is simply a matter of respect, it says who you are the son and daughter of...
An example -
Jane Helen,
daughter of Frank and Linda Doe
and
Joseph Michael,
son of George Cool and Susan Smith. (even if his mom has kept her same last name, you list her separately since they are divorced).

Other names can be included in the program.

Answer 7

My parents were divorced and only put in a little money. We did the "Together with our Parents" thing. It's not feasable to have everyone in the invitation. Have a program for the ceremony where a special thanks could go out to each individual person

Answer 8

I had a similar problem...my husband's parents are divorced. His dad married his mom's sister and his mom is dating someone else. We told my traditional parents to avoid any hurt feelings, we would leave out all parents on the invitation. They understood.

Answer 9

Really only the people who are paying for the wedding a named on the invites. However, you want to steer away, you can always have his and her invites. The annoucements to your side will state your parents, and his side his parents.
If you feel that is too much work/money or you don't want to do that you can simply state:

Together with their families
You
and
Your soon-to be hubby
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage

Answer 10

I would sit them all down and talk tot hem explain to them that you cannot include all of them, but you will include everyone in something.

I would do the traditional Mr blah and ms blah would like to invite you in the joining of their daughter Your Nmae to His name, presented by (his parents names)

and do it like that, but include a special thanks on the back of the wedding program.