I'm trying to think of a small role for my future husband's 9 year old sister to do at our wedding next year. We don't really want her to play a huge part in it, i.e. flower girl or bridesmaid, as our daughter will have the only important role at the ceremony, but we feel we should include her in something. The wedding itself is informal with very little tradition, therefore, there is no Order Of Service etc for her to hand out.
Any ideas would be much appreciated!
2007-10-07 07:54:54 · 19 answers · asked by nats28 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Not sure an usher is something she could do successfully and again, there is absolutely no formality to it so wasnt really thinking of having an usher anyway - but thanks for the idea
2007-10-07 08:02:10 · update #1
Dont really want her to have a significant part of the ceremony as I want my daughter to feel the most important .
2007-10-07 08:03:17 · update #2
My daughter is the only one to have an important role because thats how we want it. It is important to me for her to feel special on that day and I feel that his sister would out shine her as she is a very wild, outgoing, loud child who demands all the attention .
2007-10-07 08:11:47 · update #3
we are not being selfish by not including his sister. My future husband is in agreeance with me totally about only includin my daughter as an important role! Why do u think that I am trying to find some small way of including her in the ceremony????? because we know it is important to have her as part of the day, but because of the type of wedding that we both want, this does not include extravagance and extras just to follow what people think is correct!!!!!!!!!!
2007-10-07 10:17:58 · update #4
She could be in charge of the guest book if you have one or watch the gift table for a while or she could announce when the cake cutting would start. Nothing major in either capacity but would put her in the spotlight briefly.
2007-10-07 08:03:24 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You said you were having a very informal wedding so its hard for us to really know what you are doing. Are you doing a unity thing (candles, sand, etc)? She could do your husbands side of the family.
Are you having any special elements? You seem to be against tradition but if you are jumping a broom or smashing a glass, she could be in charge of that.
I assume your daughter is doing the rings. But what is necessary at your wedding? What are you doing? She could read a poem, irish blessing, small part of the ceremony like one poster suggested. If you arent having a DJ, she could announce you at the reception. You said she was outgoing so she probably wouldn't mind that.
I've also been to a wedding where they had a Polaroid and took a picture of all the guests when they signed the guest book. That way you had a picture of each guest next to their well wishes. As its a small wedding, that wouldn't be that difficult to do.
You may need someone to be in charge of telling the guests when to take their seats and some way to announce you are reading to start. This is especially true at outdoor ceremonies, where people tend to wander and mingle.
Though it depends on her personality--I had a 9 yo flower girl but when I was 9 my worst fear would have been looking like a cute little flower girl. I was quite a tomboy. She could easily scatter petals or roll down an aisle runner, then take a seat with her mother, instead of standing at the front.
It really depends on the style of your individual wedding. What do you actually need to have someone do? I'm sure you'll find just the right position for her to show her how valued she is.
2007-10-07 15:40:38 · answer #2 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi. I agree with the other poster who said ...."why not a bridesmaid? or junior bridesmaid?" I really do feel that she will be left out if just given some little "chore" to do.
Yes, your daughter should be a flower girl...but someone as important as your future sister-in-law (even at age 9), should have an honor in her brother's wedding. I think she would be too young to do a reading, poem, etc. unless she is VERY mature and self-confident. I would not put that pressure on a little girl. But, I think she would be honored to be a junior bridesmaid.
Good luck!
2007-10-07 16:31:14 · answer #3 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about a junior bridesmaid? She wouldn't have a big part in the ceremony and she would feel very much a part of the wedding. If not that, how about the guest book attendant? Or after the ceremony, she could hand out bubbles, bird seed, etc.
2007-10-07 16:04:00 · answer #4 · answered by loyerd6 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your daughter the only relative who is allowed an important role? Surely it would mean a lot for the little sister of your future husband if she was allowed to dress up and be a bridesmaid on your special day. Your daughter would still grab all the attention by being a flower girl - which is definitely the cutest role. :-)
2007-10-07 15:09:28 · answer #5 · answered by Butterscotch 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why not let the sister be a junior bridesmaid and have a family ceremony so your daughter is getting "married" too? Then your daughter would be 2nd to only you and others wouldn't be left out. You can google "family ceremony" and find neverending possibilities for your daughter to be included in your actual ceremony.
2007-10-07 17:50:54 · answer #6 · answered by msprncs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have her be in fully charge of the decorations for the cars and also, for the party after wedding, have her decide what to put on the tables at the reception, and have her make your bouquet that you walk down the aisle with, Lets face it, you know kids that are 11 or 12 or even 10 know what their doing better then any grown up there is, now a days, Have her bee in charge of your music, what to march down the aisle with, It should be nice, well good luck
2007-10-07 15:58:48 · answer #7 · answered by trudycaulfield 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're having bubbles for people to blow after the ceremony, have her stand in the back of the church with a basket holding the bottles of bubbles and pass them out to the guests as they leave the ceremony. That would make her feel important, but she wouldn't be included in the ceremony.
2007-10-07 20:38:00 · answer #8 · answered by Darlene mouse 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before the service begins, have her stand in the front of the "alter" and have her make an announcement along the line like:
"Thank you all for attending the wedding of (insert names here). You are all truly an important member of their lives and this time was taken out to show yo their appreciation. (At this time, if you have directions for your wedding, like reception will be held at a certin location, have her say that too). "
Since she is out-going, he will have no problem with doing this. Since she likes to be the center of attention, she'll love to stand before everyone giving a "thank you/direction announment." She wont out shine you're daughter because his sister will be making the annoument before the wedding starts. This also allows you to take her to get a nice dress, but nothing as dressy as your daughter. So, she is special in a different way.
2007-10-07 15:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If your daughter is to have the ONLY important role, why have his sister in it at all? Sounds very informal and not much for her to do anyways. If she's the wild and loud child you say she is ... she'll have attention whether you want her to or not. There's so many little "traditional" things to do ... but doesn't sound like you're doing much of that. Not only that, but a 9 year old is only equipped to do so much for/in a wedding.
2007-10-07 16:04:12 · answer #10 · answered by Pisces Chicka 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋