My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years (we are both 21 now).
His parents seem to enjoy making life difficult for both of us, and clearly don't accept me
When I visit they expect us to look after his brothers (who are 11 & 14) whilst they go out and do what they want, if we refuse they say 'dont bother having kids if you cant look after these 2'-harsh considering I had a miscarriage 2 years ago.
I'm always helpful around the house, and do my fair share when I stay, and am nice to them.
I've given up buying them xmas and birthday gifts as last years presents got branded a load of cr@p by his dad (was only living on a student loan-its the thought that counts!)
The crunch came last weekend when I went to vist, and the insisted their house was too full to accomodate me, so I spent the weekend in a B&B.
We were thinking of getting engaged, but worry they will tell us not to bother spending money on a wedding as we will end up divorced.
Any advice would be appreciated!thanksx
2007-10-07 07:35:43 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
P.S Can I just add that I am actually employed now!-I have recently qualified as a nurse, so please don't judge me, I have worked hard all my life to get to where I am today!
2007-10-07 07:45:18 · update #1
There does not to be a specific event that has triggered there dislike. I think my boyf has been bought up the same way as they (partic his dad) treat me as he is reluctant to speak to them about how upset I get over their comments.
2007-10-07 08:10:05 · update #2
Don't let other people interfer with your guys relationship! Remember, you guys love eachother... and his parents are just trying to make things harder for you two.
They sound ungrateful. You've tried to have a good relationship with them, it's their fault for making your bond with them sucky.
If you know you love your boyfriend, and he loves you. Then don't let ANYONE tell you how you feel or what will happen. Trust your relationship. If you don't and still think you need sometime to just stay the way you are, then that's okay... it's alright to make sure if this is what you want or not.
If you're tried of trying, then let your boyfriend know how you feel. Maybe he could talk to his parents about the situation.
2007-10-07 07:48:58 · answer #1 · answered by Goose Feet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a couple of possible outcomes here. First off, you two could get engaged, married, and have a wonderful life together. With this, his parents would either accept you, or he would have to make a choice, which, though not exactly fair to him, is his own decision. You need to make him aware that you would support his decision either way, and because you love him, you understand if it cannot work because of his parents. It is also possible that if you stayed together, that he would attend his own family functions while you stayed home, or what have you.
2007-10-07 07:41:32 · answer #2 · answered by princessn1984 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to say it but..........you are never going to change their minds; no matter what you do. if your boyfriend loves you he will spare you being treating like that and if not and you love him then stand up for yourself and do not let be treated as an unpaid servant........you and you alone need to decided if that is the way you want to live; if you love him just get a ceremony with the people that loves you and as courtesy invite them with a polite "if you which to attend your presence will be appreciated but not required" they are bulling you and you are letting them.
2007-10-07 07:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by moiici04 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, stay away from them. You are adults. Don't worry about their thoughts.
Of course, if you are not married and only 21 and you had a miscarriage two years ago, I have to wonder if you are mking good decisions. Getting pregnant when you are single and unemployed?
2007-10-07 07:40:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your bf that he will have to choose who he wants to be with, since you are not happy with the way his parents treat you. He's letting them continue their behavior rather than stand up to them. They have probably always treated him like this and he doesn't know anything different.
2007-10-07 07:46:26 · answer #5 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well is there somethinh that u are not saying? is there a reason that they dont like you? id ont understand it but are u sure thats the type of family you want to becoming into
2007-10-07 07:51:18 · answer #6 · answered by love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple. Get married and move to another state.
2007-10-07 07:47:51 · answer #7 · answered by woodster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. there assholes. seriously. have you boyfriend talk to them and if that doesnt work i'm sorry but consider what it feel like marrying him. it could lead to a divorce
2007-10-07 07:39:05 · answer #8 · answered by BOSS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋