I'm currently 18, turning 19 next month...me and my girlfriend recently broke up due to her wanting her independance at university which I obviously respect. But i'm finding her leaving alot more painful than I thought it would be...and the old saying "you don't know what you've got until its gone" kicked in...I recently spoke to a friend who got engaged and thats why i'm thinking of asking her...maybe after a few months of her being there. Just wondering if anyone else had a similar experiance and how they found it. =]
2007-10-07 04:50:28 · 22 answers · asked by jvjwaller 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Let her have her independence.
2007-10-07 04:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by fosyfos 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Becoming engaged and getting married are two different things so I would say your age isnt a problem if all you are talking about is engagement. She wanted more independence so trying to tie her down to you could be a problem. As you mature, you will find that what you are looking for in a life partner may be very different from what you are looking for now. You seem afraid of letting her grow in her own right to make sure that you are really right for each other. If it's true love, it will still survive even though you are not formally engaged and are separated while she is away.
2007-10-07 05:01:34 · answer #2 · answered by Diane M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had an experience very similar. I had boyfriend who i dated for three years (high school sweethearts) and we were two years apart in age. When he got to college he wanted to experience college no strings attached, so we broke up. We were broken up for about a year, but the entire we couldn't stop talking to each other. So finally we got back together and when I asked him, my boyfriend said "You can change your mind, but you can't change your heart." Now we're engaged (I'm 18 and he's 20) and attending the same university. So in my opinion do what i did and let them go, they'll love you even more for it. They'll realize what they missed and just be waiting there with open arms. Your instincts will tell you if the time is right and when it is everything will fall in place. I promise.
2007-10-07 07:32:52 · answer #3 · answered by Tiara J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is moot b/c your girlfriend broke up with you. You are not in a relationship and have no one to marry at this time. Don't even THINK of proposing to someone who has rejected you!!! And as others have pointed out, that would be an act of desperation to keep her around for the purpose of easing your pain, as opposed to giving her the independence she wants.
To answer your moot question: IMO, as someone more than twice the age you'll be next month, yes, you are too young to get married. You have not finished your education and are not financially independent. Your brain won't be fully developed until your mid 20s. And I'm not saying this to be mean, but at this time, based on your post, you lack the maturity, common sense, and wisdom to get married, even if you did have a girlfriend. I suggest at this time, you focus on your studies and personal growth. Over time, you will develop the maturity, wisdom and common sense for marriage, but it won't be while you're still a teenager.
2007-10-07 07:04:27 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude,
You asked -- and, I'm going to tell you
I am a pro photographer -- have shot hundreds upon hundreds of weddings -- of every type under God's Sun
I've seen literally a thousand couples wed at the late teen and early twenty age bracket and have run into them months and years afterwards and seen for myself how these marriages work or don't work --- as a "numbers" thing !!
I'm telling you here-- the odds are NOT that good !!
On top of this factor --- what about this girl's search for "an independence" FROM the relationship are you not buying into here ?? IF marriage were in the offering on this deal -- there would NOT be an independence expected here !!
Take some rock solid advice from an ole salt -- that's been around this "marriage" thing for a long long time ------ There is a long long time in which to consider a move like this --- and to allow your "missing someone" to coerce a long term commitment out of you is insane !! Let HER get on with HER education -- and YOU get on with what YOU are about and let TIME tell how it's going to be --- You have time --- take it --- marriage is a VERY LONG TERM THING --- OR -- it comes apart at the seams fairly rapid !!!!!!!!!
2007-10-07 05:10:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
she broke up with you...she's not going to want to get engaged.
go your seperate ways, explore what's out there. you might find someone better that would make you think "i'm so glad i didn't do what i was going to, i would never be this happy" I almost got engaged to my ex...and i'm glad I didn't. I found someone so much better who i'm getting married to.
i dated my ex from when i was 17-19, and then I met my now fiance when I was 19..i'm 21 now..and we're still doing a long engagement.
if you CAN'T see yourself with someone else..this is what SHOULD happen. You respect her wishes, learn things about yourself, date other people...if things are meant to be, you will talk to her, you will keep in touch, but not all the time, remember she wants SPACE. You will grow up and then realize you're either supposed to be together or you're not.
2007-10-07 05:37:16 · answer #6 · answered by Courtney 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not too young to get engaged but i would not recommend it in your situation. I know you are finding it harder than you thought to let go of your gf, but she did ask for her Independence to go to university. Have you thought that by asking her to marry you this might make her feel strange because you split because she wanted freedom? Me and my bf both went to uni and we are together now because we wanted to be with each other. Why don't you speak to her and see how she is getting on and see if there is any hope that the two of you may get back together, but i really don't think engagement is the answer to this one. I hope you get things sorted.
2007-10-07 06:26:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only 18 with a whole life ahead of you.I got married at 18 and am divorced now at 52, I would highly recomend to move on and you can still keep in touch through e-mails ect, but live life and experiecnce as much as you can now as these are the best years you will have , once you marry and start with commitments life changes alot.
2007-10-07 08:08:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your move to ask for her hand in marriage is a move born out of desperation. It won't work and you'll be more hurt after she turns you down. Stop. Accept. Move on.
There is no age that engagement is inappropriate. You can be engaged from birth. Marriage is the only thing that people care about at a young age.
2007-10-07 06:45:52 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your girlfriend broke up with you because she wants her Independence she is NOT going to want to get married. You are too immature to get married not to young. You need to move on and get over her. I know it hurts, in the long run you are going to be OK. I am sure you will find the someone else that will love you.
2007-10-07 04:57:56 · answer #10 · answered by Kate F 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You just broke up with her-what makes you think that marriage proposal is anything less than desperate? It has nothing to do with age, but asking her to marry you is quite possibly the worst thing you could do.
Have a little more respect for yourself, find someone better and maybe then you can consider such a drastic step as a proposal.
2007-10-07 04:57:30 · answer #11 · answered by Very happily married. 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋