i have no one to help me with certain aspects of my wedding planning. my mother tells me anything i choose would b beautiful or she likes it all or its my special day do whatever i want. my sister didnt have a wedding and is alittle bitter about me having a large one. (she was pregnant and ran to the JP and is now divorced) my other siblings r in their teens and pretty passive about marriage and weddings. as far as friends i have a couple who r a little snooty and dont like anyone having anything better than them and if i find something better than they had (not trying to outdo them) they get angry my other friends and i dont share the same taste. my fiance has an ex gf. we r all friends. i love her to death and i thought of having her help me. he has no problem with this. she was married about 6 months ago so shes been thru it all plus we get along amazingly and we have close the same taste when it comes to these things. when i mentioned this to some ppl they were taken aback. they
2007-10-07 04:34:52 · 13 answers · asked by Jen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
they think that this will like curse my marriage bc she isnt just any ex she is THE ex. the one that everyone thought would marry mynow fiance. i c no problem w/ it btw my fiance cant help w/ certain things bc he has no idea about these things (cmon hes a guy) plus he refuses to c my dress. what do u think? is it bad to have an ex who is a close friend of r's help?
2007-10-07 04:36:36 · update #1
lol no she isnt going to b in the wedding party. and we were all friends before they got together. weve known each other for yrs but im not threatened by her at all my view is if hes going to cheat whether w/ her or someone else hes going to do it i cant stop him and banishing certain ppl or watching him like a hawk or being insecure is not going to stop it if anything its going to push him to it. so y should i worry about something i dunno will ever happen i might as well enjoy my life w/ him and if he ruins it then its on him.
2007-10-07 05:09:55 · update #2
I think it's weird. But that is my opinion. I have never gotten on with my man's exes. Major conflict of interest. And the whole time we'd be planning, I'd think, what are her motives here? Is she going to recommend all the worst things so it looks like a bad wedding, etc, is she trying to get on my fiance?
2007-10-07 04:46:36 · answer #1 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dated a very wonderful man for a year. His mom and dad liked me, but not his younger siblings. I cared for this man very much. However, he moved to another state for work, and I declined to go. My life was established, and I was very comfortable. We have remained very good friends to this day. He met his wife shortly after moving to his new job location. They were married 2 years later. I had the privilege to be a bridesmaid in their wedding (there were 3 bridesmaids). She chose a dress that looked nice on my odd body shape. She made him happier then I ever could. I spent 4 days helping her get those final details for their wedding done, and had FUN! She and I had different tastes, but I enjoyed it none the less. She is from the south, and extremely girly! I can tell you one thing that might apply here. Aarons younger siblings were making some really nasty remarks about the wedding, (especially about me being there... they never liked me)... and she looked over at them with a straight face and said, " Theresa, Marina, A lady is ALL WAYS a lady, and a horses behind is ALL WAYS a horses behind. Which one are you?" There were about 10 of us in the same room, and they were both speechless that Noelle said that. Noelle is the epitome of a lady. Never raised her voice, or used foul language. So you might want to think about that... Who's acting like a lady and who is acting like a horses behind?
Your "snooty" friends are superficial!! Do you really want that kind of shallowness around you when your planning your special day? So it's really up to you if you want to ask the ex-gf to help you. Since your all friends, does it really matter what other people's opinons are?
2007-10-08 09:12:00 · answer #2 · answered by navywife_2001 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she is your friend, then ask her to help. Just because she's your fiance's ex-girlfriend is no reason you can't all be friends. Other people need to get a grip and realize that not everyone is jealous of past relationships.
My fiance has an ex-girlfriend who is still a close friend of his, and she quickly became a good friend of mine, too. I think it's fine.
Anyone who says anything goofy about 'luck' or 'curses' is a few sandwiches short of a picnic!
2007-10-07 11:56:15 · answer #3 · answered by SE 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's great that you're so secure in yourself and in your relationship to even attempt having a friendship with your fiancee's ex. Most women would not have gone out of their way to befriend an ex as you have. Since she's gone through the wedding planning process herself, I don't see the problem in asking questions for a little help. BUT if you plan on having her sort of be there as a maid of honor that is a bit much.
2007-10-07 11:48:10 · answer #4 · answered by Jasmine808 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
gosh your friends are a bit much arent they? if its any help at all in making you feel better i am glad you are getting married, i am glad you are able to have a lovely wedding and i hope you are amazingly happy! we all wish that for you!
and i think its nice that you have someone like your fiance's ex to help you with things - and if you all get along then why not? seems to me your friends are jealous - so let them be that way - you and she get together and plan a great wedding!
2007-10-11 00:03:21 · answer #5 · answered by itsjustyouandmebabe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both feel comfortable with the idea - why not?
As you yourself have indicated - no one else is of much help.
(the "friends" you mention don`t sound like real friends, btw)
So - talk this through with hubby-to-be, but considering THE ex is already married - i wouldn`t see a problem.
Have a great day - and a wonderful time planning ;)
2007-10-07 11:44:09 · answer #6 · answered by U_S_S_Enterprise 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't see anything wrong with it. I'm finding problems with having my friends help me with planning my wedding, i'm actually taking my finace to help me find a dress...granted he won't know which one I actually decide on so he'll still be surprised. (People on here were totally appaled by it too, but whatever...my life not theirs)
Do whatever you want, it's your day, and you're going to need help. If she's willing and everyone is comfortable with it, why not?
2007-10-07 12:26:47 · answer #7 · answered by Courtney 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be slightly uncomfortable but if the three of you are comfy then go for it. Especially if you are getting married in the same city she would have good insight into vendors in town and reasonable pricing. Good luck.
2007-10-07 15:40:43 · answer #8 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take your mother with you. She will be more help than she thinks, and you will be most pleased that she was there. Friends come and go, your mother is your mother. Sounds like you have a lot of jealous people around you. You may want to reconsider who you call friends
2007-10-07 11:44:23 · answer #9 · answered by always b natural 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If YOU get along with her, then go for it!
Especially if your fiance does not mind.
Ignore the naysayers.
You obviously get along and are friends.
2007-10-08 11:39:33 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋