My 15 year old daughter just came to live with me. She lived with her Dad from age 10 to 15. She is constantly complaining and saying that she does not like living with me. I live in another state.
I try to keep her busy and happy and am constantly thinking of her. My life has changed completely since her coming to live with me.
Yet, no matter how much money I spend taking her places or time I invest helping her with her studies, she does not like it.
She does not like her new school and constantly talks to her old friends and compares her new school to her old school.
I feel bad because she had to leave her friends, but that's just the way life sometimes is.
I feel sad when she says that she does not like it with me (the food, classes (tennis, ACT review, etc) that I put her in. I don't know what else to do.
She has not made many new friends in school yet.
I am trying my best to keep her busy and happy, but is not enough.....What else can I do?
2007-10-07 03:14:16 · 7 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You can't make her happy. This is something she has to choose for herself. Right now she is grieving the loss of all that was familiar and comfortable to her and she' still an adolescent - tough age. Talk to her and ask her what she needs and what you can do to help her get settled in. You didn't say why she lived with her dad and why she has now come to live with you but what ever the reason you need to have open communication with her. Let her know that you understand her unhappiness but are there for her when she wants to talk. I know this must be hurtful to hear that her "old life" was so much better but try to bear up. Time heals. Have you tried getting her involved in clubs or structured activities like horseback riding, tennis, acting, art or music etc... Do you go to church? If you do then talk to your pastor and ask him to see if a couple of girls your daughters age can talk to her and help her to feel more comfortable at church - maybe stop by to pick her up for youth meetings so she doesn't have to walk in to a group of strangers by herself. I hope some of this helps.
Good luck.
2007-10-07 03:32:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's a teenager, and she probably feel abandoned since she lived with her Dad for 5 years, where were you? She is your daughter, so what if your life has changed, and you can't buy her love or acceptance by doing this or that for her. What she really needs is someone to love her unconditionally no matter what she does or what choices she makes with her life. She needs someone to listen to her, and guide her in the right direction. It's not how much time you spend with her, it's what you do with the time you have. Feeling guilty for any part of what you've done is probably the worst thing that you can do for her, guilt will just drive you further apart. So just be a great mom, do what you can, spend quality time, and just simply love her.
2007-10-07 03:32:02 · answer #2 · answered by Jas 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
simply put you are doing enough considering how your life has changed in the past few months. Perhaps it is time for you as the parent to consider her actions as one of a spoiled individual. Hate to say this but she sounds like she is a spoiled brat and trying her best to upset your world to get her own way. Life is sometimes NOT fair but she has a roof over her head- your doing everything you can to accommodate and be a good parent- start looking at her short comings instead of your own.
2007-10-07 07:51:11 · answer #3 · answered by sylviavnpttn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you're doing a great job so far. It sounds like she just needs time, she's been uprooted from everything that she knows and loves and that's very hard for her. Who knows how much time it will take, try not to baby her all the time though, give her responsibilities, she has to know that as a member of the household she has to pitch in and do her share. She'll come around, good luck.
2007-10-07 03:21:25 · answer #4 · answered by inluvwithb 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It must have been really hard for her to transition to something totally new so give her time. It's just because she is nervous and upset with the changes so she takes it out on you. You are just doing what any good mom would do. Eventually she will get used to it you should just be patient and let her realize that this is how it's going to be now.
2007-10-07 04:53:29 · answer #5 · answered by Emily 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are loving and talk in a positive manner at all times and are not calling her bad names then dont feel guilty. Just let her learn that new things seem bad at first but once you get started on the new way that shell see the frustration goes away.
2007-10-07 03:37:40 · answer #6 · answered by theroadwetake 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like shes a little home sick and a little spoiled.. You are not there to please her you are there to raise and teach her... I think the most important thing you can do is spend some time with her....That will help her with the transition.....
2007-10-07 03:26:29 · answer #7 · answered by diva102288 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋