now he has come back to me. i feel wonderful, but i understand that this euphoria won't last long, because soon i start to suspect him without any reason. what should i do?
2007-10-06 23:45:15 · 11 answers · asked by dryada 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, he betrayed, you forgave and stayed friends, now he's back in your life. You have a couple choices: (1) if you truly forgave him, then you truly have to NEVER bring it up again and act as if nothing happened... thats what forgiveness is or (2) you stayed friends, with no problems, so why wouldnt you think FRIENDS is all youre supposed to be?? (3) if you suspect him regardless after a period of time, then you cant live like that healthily, not being g/f and b/f!! Pick one, and stick with it!!
2007-10-06 23:50:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Dryada,
Wow! Thank you for posing this question tonight. You are me two years ago. I understand how incredible it feels being back with a man you love. But the euphoria and bliss does not fix all the unresolved issues of deceit, lies and betrayal.
If you haven't already done so, you and your boyfriend must sit down calmly together and talk about the betrayal; his feelings/reasoning and your feelings surrounding the issue. This is a crucial element that must be addressed if this relationship is to move forward. Perhaps a neutral third party (counceler) would be best for you clear the air.---(having another person to hear what is being said---keep temperments calm and facilitate your discussion will help alot.)
You are suspecting him again, I imagine, because the issue of his betrayal has not been resolved. You love him, took him back into your heart and forgave him (as a friend) because of your love.
{afterall, how could someone else share the love you feel------and ever ,ever betray you again?, especially after knowing how devestating it was to you?}
Unfortunately, people do just that all the time. We live in a throw away society where what fuels us is money and our own ego. If you want to build trust in him again, he must earn it. Share your feelings with him. Tell him how much it hurt and allow him to be honest with you without repurcussion.
If he loves you too and is truely sorry for his past deed, he will gladly sit together and talk....if he says no way, let him know your feelings and then move on with your life....leaving him behind. I know from past experience, if you don't resolve the distrust issues now, they will grow bigger and overshadow any hope for a bright future.
The truth shall set you free.....believe it.....live it. Good luck!
2007-10-07 00:38:58 · answer #2 · answered by Meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Sarah, i'm so sorry you're dealing with this lower back! No, i won't be in a position to declare which you're over reacting as a results of fact a kiss is a kiss and that i might hate it if i got here upon my husband had kissed yet another woman! The valuable ingredient is that, he got here to WILLINGLY and admitted what occurred 2 twelve months'S in the past, meaning, he has been harmless as a results of fact then, we are hoping:D i won't be in a position to be sure why you mustn't telephone this different woman- after all, you're unlikely to be chatting along with her abusive husband, yet her. you are able to say that this has harm you very plenty and additionally you're specific that if she have been in love along with her husband, she might sense the comparable. i might achieve this and additionally you will possibly be polite approximately it. This additionally may well be a style of closure for you; she might remorseful approximately what she did. genuine now, you will possibly desire to pay interest on the valuable factors that your hubby does love you very plenty and pray to Jehovah collectively, to invite for the ability to recover from this soreness. i'm right here in case you desire to talk. Your sis Suzanne
2017-01-03 06:02:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you don't trust him now. Once you realize he is capable of betraying you, you know he may do it again. You either need to decide if he is worth it and then work hard to trust him, or, now that you know you can get him back (bittersweet, isnt it?) let him go. Habitual cheating is a form of abuse in a committed relationship. Don't let this happen to you.
2007-10-06 23:50:34 · answer #4 · answered by Mary A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he came back to you, it is because he is probably in betweens "affairs". If he betrayed you once in less than a year, he has no respect for you and how can you ever trust. Move on.
2007-10-06 23:59:45 · answer #5 · answered by Harley Lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay for a while as friends. Hte guy will ought to understand you and he should prove himself to you. You may accept suitors and friends so that you will have a greater chance of selecting and choosing your future better half.
2007-10-06 23:52:12 · answer #6 · answered by maribeth t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't get over the betrayal now don't pursue the relationship. It will only get worse and will end up hurting adn destroying the relationship.
2007-10-06 23:50:47 · answer #7 · answered by trusansno 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will take time, trust is something that needs to be rebuilt, it can be but you have to be willing to accept that he made a mistake and that he is sorry. there will be times when you will feel paranoid, but these will pass. just take things slow and explain that trust needs to be rebuilt.
2007-10-06 23:50:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no trust in this relationship. Without trust it can not possibly work.
2007-10-06 23:48:09 · answer #9 · answered by artistagent116 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU SUSPECT HIM WITHOUT A REASON ITS BECAUSE HE BETRAYED YOU BEFORE, THEN I THINK ITS BEST TO FIND ANOTHER.
2007-10-06 23:54:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋