How do I handle insensitive comments related to my pregnancy?

Question

I am 27 weeks pregnant, although most people tell me I look as if I'm about to burst.

On a DAILY basis, I get all the usual comments pregnant women with large bellies tend to receive:

1. Are you having twins?
2. Triplets?
3. They must have your due date all wrong!
4. D**n, you're huge!
5. Is that a watermelon hidden in your shirt?
Etc.

A month ago, while registering for my deliver at the hospital, FIVE nurses;/staff asked if I was there to give birth! Shouldn't they know better, dealing with pregnant women daily?

The first half of my pregnancy, I lost 16 pounds, due to Hyperemesis Gravidarum (extreme morning sickness), and recently have caught up to my pre-pregnancy weight but have yet to actually gain ANY weight. It seems like the rest of my body fat went straight to my belly!

What should I say in response to all the rude comments I receive daily? I've been just "grinning & bearing it" and trying to be as nice as possible, but it's wearing thin.

Also, I just wanted to add that when complete strangers approach me and rub my belly, I return the favor, literally. I rub their bellies as well. It gets strange looks, but they usually realize that they didn't have the right invade my personal space.

Since I have three months left in my pregnancy, and my hormones are out of control, the "grin and bear it" approach isn't working so well for me right now.

However, I do not want to be rude all the people. I realize that they may not know their comments hurt my feelings or agitate me.

I bought a few shirts that say, "Please Don't Rub My Belly" and "Yes, I'm Pregnant, and No, I'm Not Having Twins" among others, but I also have a professional job, and thus can't wear these daily.

I guess my real question is what kind of uniform phrase should I start dishing in response to these folks' comments?

Yeah, I don't mind if my friends joke around and say things. We have a rapport, and I know they are kidding with me. It's mostly strangers that frustrate me.

Sometimes it gets tiring to say all the same ol' things repeatedly, like, "Yeah, he's a big boy, I guess." I'm spacey these days, and my wit has seemed to diminish to the point of non-existence.

(This is also my second pregnancy. The first one didn't seem like the comments were as many, and I was actually LARGER then - gaining 80 pounds compared to zero this time around - so far.) When I became pregnant, I was 160 pounds, at 5'7". Wearing a size ten jean. Not very overweight. Just a little curvy. Since becoming pregnant, my face is thinner, as well as my legs, arms, thighs, etc. Perhaps my protruding belly is more noticeable to my friends and family, but the strangers I don't understand.

Answer 1

Jeez! That must be annoying. Like others have said, people always take interest in pregnancy. The baby bumps appear relative to your body size and a regular person cannot estimate how many months pregnant you are.

Think about it and prepare some comebacks that say " Mind your own business" without being very rude in their face. When they say " Twins or Triplets" say "No..I'm working on a football team or NFL team. You wanna help carry some? "

Yes, it can be hard to grin and bear but just dont let it get to you. Dont take it personally.

Goodluck!

Answer 2

Well I for one sympathize with you.

I had my daughter this past January.. and my pregnancy it was a little different from you.. for me it was hardly noticable that I was pregnant until I was in my third trimester, and then everyone thought I was only 5 or 6 months along.. so that was humiliating.... and then on top of that.. I had people telling me the way I was carrying .. that I was going to have a boy.. and even after I told them the doctor has confirmed it will be a girl.. they still thought I would have a boy.. *rolls eyes*

Then there were the crazy people who just thought they could come up and rub my belly ! Especially strangers coming out and doing it.. that really freaked me out.

In the end.. my hormones were raging too.. and so I picked my victims carefully.. if it was some stranger that came up and did it.. I just told them what I was thinking..
if it was family or friend, then I would just remove their hand gently or back up and told them I'd rather not be touched..

Some peopel were offended.. I won't lie.. but I figure if I grin and bear it.. then they will do it all the time for all my pregnancies.

To make things worse.. I had 2 miscarriages before this pregnancy and everyone had to bring that history up as well..

People are sick and dumb.. and half the time they do not think..

But when anyone irritates you.. just think to yourself..

"They're too DUMB to know any better." Then excuse yourself and let it go..

Believe me .. don't burn any bridges over this during your pregnancy.. people can be sensative..

of course if it's a stranger doing this nonsense.. I'd just set them straight and let it all out.

Good luck with your pregnancy. My best wishes !

Answer 3

LOL!!! I agree with you about rubbing their bellies back! It's quite effective! I'd just shoot it back at 'em! Whatever comes to mind...twins? triplets? No, I'm have 6 of these little critters...isn't that what it's meant by having a litter? Wrong due date? Yeah...I'm only 1 month along! D**n, you're huge! At least I'm pregnant! Watermelon? No, it's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! I was small because my daughter was a premie...the ER intern MD actually LAUGHED when I arrived in full labor! The Security Guard, a much older man, was kind enough to grab me a wheelchair....plus, I think he realized that I was about to punch the MD!!! I think if people are going to be so thoughtless and rude, then they don't deserve kid gloves handling...unless I really know that they are esp. unaware of their behavior, then I'll be respectful, esp. if it's an Elder.

Answer 4

It's annoying, isn't it? I was lucky enough never to get my belly rubbed by strangers. I guess I gave off some sort of an aura that I did not want to be touched so people left me alone. However, they did make stupid remarks. They wanted to know why my belly wasn't sticking out more or that I was way off of my due date because I wan't big enough. All I can say is that do your best to ignore the comments. Stupid comments don't deserve a polite response. What these people should know is that your condition is none of their business.

Answer 5

The worst is when you are not even pregnant and someone asks you when you are due! But I sympathize with you, because people are insensitive. I remember someone asking me too if I was having twins, or better yet if i was having a boy because apparently my butt was too big, a sure sign of a boy to this person. How rude! Just brush it off, maybe kicking some shin wouldn't hurt either. LOL

Answer 6

I think that in your workplace, it is appropriate so say that comments about your size are inappropriate, let your family and friends know that you are feeling really sensitive and that you would appreciate it if they could refrain from making comments however, when you are out and about there is not much you can do unless you are prepared to get into a dialogue with complete strangers. Congrats on rubbing other people on the belly - people are so inappropriate. A friend of mine has twin and people have actually asked her if she conceived them naturally!

Answer 7

I've always thought it was quite rude when strangers made comments about a woman's pregnancy. It's really none of their business whether you're having twins, triplets, or Elvis's love child. When I was pregnant with my second child, I got considerably larger than with my first, and I often had people asking me "Are you having twins?", to which I'd respond, "Twins? You think I'm pregnant?!" Hopefully it embarassed them enough to make them think twice before saying something else like that to another pregnant woman.

Answer 8

I think that these are common things that pregnant women hear. I think you should try to focus on the fact that you are not fat you are pregnant. The weight gain is essential for your baby. Maybe you when someone says something like that to you, you could reply "Yeah, I'm going to have a very healthy baby!" It sounds lame, but hopefully you understand what I'm getting at. Try to turn their rude comments into more positive ones and maybe they'll be able to understand.

Answer 9

that seems like it's just a sign of the times. When I first started working neither pregnant women nor married women were allowed to be employed. And women used to stay home when they were pregnant and be a housewife and prepare for the child's coming. Now-a-days if you're out working and you have a job out in the public eye then you get what you got.

These days though t-shirts are readily available and you can make your own sayings. If I were in that predicament I'd get myself a cute t-shirt and answer all the questions on the t-shirt that people ask.....including one statement on the belly which says "please don't touch, baby is sleeping...shhhh!!"

Answer 10

If someone says your huge! YOU SAY: You wanna see what else is HUGE, and girl laugh it off.

Some says if that's a watermelon! YOU SAY: I couldn't bury them you know, so they found rest here. Just laugh it off!

If someone pokes fun again, just say: Don't you wish your wife was HOT like me don't ya don't ya? Just laugh or think of a good comeback.
If someone rubs or touches your belly, say baby will puke or kick your balls!. No one should touch your precious cargo--no stranger at all! That is rude!

Nothing comes between a mother and her child!