what to do when you parents are fighting all the time?

Question

My mom and dad love each other very much, but almost every day they get into a fight!!! Some nights they even start pushing each other!!! They do it in front of both me and my brother (he is 3)!!!!! They don't want break-up so what should I do to pervent a fight?

Answer 1

Talk to them, tell them how it's hurting you and your sibling shouldn't have to witness it. If your brave suggest counseling.

Answer 2

I think if your dad is pushing your Mom you should go in the other room and call the police. It starts off as pushing but it can lead to worse things. Maybe this would make them realize what they are doing wrong. If they are fighting all of the time they are not happy. But really protect your brother take him in the other room and phone 911. you can also phone the kids help line. but when there is a bad situation that includes violence phone the police.There is nothing you can do to prevent a fight this fighting is not your fault.

Answer 3

You can't prevent a fight, but you sound like a very smart kid, so you can try to effect a change. Get Dad and Mom apart and tell each one the same thing, that you and your brother get very upset and frightened, about all the fights and ask them to take mom/dad to get some help. Tell them there are people that can help them get along. Hopefully, they will realize how upset you are about the fights and decide to get counceling.

Answer 4

Honey, it's not your job to stop their fighting. It's your parents job to not fight and they need to do it for you and your brother. You tell them that their fighting is making it hard for you and that if they care for you they have to stop. They shouldn't be fighting that often and it shouldn't escalate to pushing. They're setting bad examples for you and your brother and one day it might involve you and your brother. They may love each other but they need to take some time apart and one day it might come to that. I hope you can be prepared. I speak from experience my parents were very much like yours and they split. It was the hardest thing to watch but I knew that my brother would always be safe and that in the end the fighting stopped and that was better for everyone. Good luck, I hope it gets resolved.

Answer 5

First of all, You should not feel responsible for their arguments.
I have to give you a lot of credit for doing the right thing for you
and your brother. It takes a lot of guts to talk about things
that are really hard to share because we feel "ashamed" to
admit that things are not very ngood at home. I mean it. I
really admire you for keeping it "real." It is the first big step
to taking care of yourself and brother.
I want you to know that I FEEL YOUR PAIN. When I was about 7&8 my stepdad came home really drunk every Sat.
afternoon. I used to think he turned into the devil. He would
terrorize me & my 2 brothers. He would push my mom around. I would be so scared for my mom. I would lay in bed
as cry as I saw him pushing my mom around and into the door. I would lay there and swear to God that when I grew up and became president I would outlaw all alcohol. I felt so helpless. I was so ashamed. I felt trapped and helpless.
When I grew up, I didn't become president, but I did become an alcoholic. I think not having the guts to talk to someone
had a lot to do with it.
My story had a happy ending because my mom finally told him that it was either her and his kids or the bottle. I remember being so terrified when I overheard her tell him that
because i thought he would chose the bottle. But he loved her so much that he did quit. It was hard, but after a while all the fighting stopped and life got better.

I want you to find someone to talk to. Like a teacher, counselor, somebody you feel safe and good about. Pick
someone who will not go and but in and make a big drama scene.
I want you to just talk right now. I want you to look up an organization named Alanon. They can lead you to alateen.

That will get you started. You took a big step tonight. I thank God that you did.
I will pray for you. Ask God for help. He will help you.

Answer 6

Sit them down together and talk to them . Tell them that all the fighting really makes your brother scared and that they are teaching you and your brother that marriage is only about fighting and you don't ever want that kind of marriage. Tell them that they need to see a marriage counselor and if they really love each other and you and your brother that they would want to make your life at home a lot nicer.

Answer 7

A few years ago, my god-daughters parents used to fight all the time. She was only 2. One day she hid under the table and put her fingers in her ears. Her parents saw her do this and stopped fighting.
They still fight I am sure but never in front of her and her brother now. You need to voice your concerns to your parents. It isn't very healthy to fight in front of children, especially when they psh each other.

Answer 8

Parents fighting (especially when it becomes physical) is considered a form of emotional abuse to the children if they witness it. That kind of behavior is very damaging to children. You need to talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. Let them know it is hurtful and frightening and that you are concerned for the safety of your family. I know how it feels, it is scary to see such behavior from the two people that are supposed to love and nurture their children. This kind of fighting is hateful and can cause permanent damage to the children. If they still continue maybe you can suggest counseling.
Sadly you can not really prevent them from fighting, since it is not your fault they do this. If anything you can do what I used to do- my brother would take me outside or to the park while our parents fought. Try to protect your younger sibling, he may witness this behavior and come to think it is okay. You need to stay away from this toxic atmosphere.

Answer 9

I'm a parent myself and I have been guilty of fighting with my husband in front of my kids. Thanks for the wake up call! I don't know how old you are but some grown up problems are really hard to resolve. Try talking to them. Let them know you're afraid of them getting a divorce. Maybe you have friends who have divorced parents. Let them know you don't want your family to end up like them. Suggest marriage counseling. I agree that parents shouldn't fight in front of their kids...and they shouldn't fight physically at all, however, try not to judge them. They might be trying to work through a big problem. For me and my husband it's stress! I have 2 kids, a full time job, a house to keep clean, homework to check, etc etc. Maybe do some extra chores one day without being asked to give your mom a break. She'll be less stressed and more receptive to your conversation about the fighting. Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 10

Speak up, dont be afraid. Tell your parents is not what you want. Tell them to behave like adults and act their age. They are setting a bad example for you kids. Tell them that it is having an effect on you mentally and physically and its getting you down and they should stop the crap immediately.And I hope you will learn from this, cause this is what marriage brings to everyone who gets married. You loose your freedom and your life and you have to suffer abuse and be a slave. Dont get married. Get an education and a career and work and be independent.

Answer 11

Talk to them about fighting in front of you guys, tell them it makes you uncomfortable. They'll understand and move it somewhere else. BTW little fights are good for a relationship.