Okay should I or shouldn't i spank?

Question

I don't have any kids. But I do babysit for a cousin that has kids and she insists that if they misbehave that I should spank them. I personally have nothing against spanking however I told her that I don't feel comfortable spanking her kids. She insisted that because Im family and she trusts me that it's fine. Her kids are really spirited and high strung (thats the nice way of putting it) but im not sure whether spanking will help or not because Im not their mother or father and I don't think I shouldn't discipline them in that way. What do you guys think?


If you are already totally against spanking don't preach to me about how it's wrong okay.

love my wife: Why would i refuse to give them cookies that i wouldn't give them in the first place? Taking away a reward that they didn't deserve in the first place just wouldn't do it.

Answer 1

If you don't feel that spanking these kids is all right with you, don't do it. I can see your cousin's point, that is, her kids should always be treated the same way when they act up, but it should still be your decision how to deal with them while you are babysitting them. You could still report any serious misbehavior to your cousin (and thell the kids you will), so she can spank them if she thinks that is appropriate.

Answer 2

I would leave the spanking to the parents. Even if it is a cousin why risk getting in trouble or a misunderstanding. I would use an alternative like sitting in the corner or time out anything besides spanking. They will know that when they are with you they will be punished in that certain way and really, kids don't like to be put in a spot where they can't play or watch TV. You will still be able to show authority without using spanking. I would also tell the parents you are not comfortable and tell them your idea of punishment so everyone is on the same page.

Answer 3

No matter what she said, I don't think I'd ever spank another person's kids, family or not. Come up with a form of discipline that you are comfortable with, and start doing that. Something that my mom always did was sitting us on the stool. There was a footstoll that came with her rocking chair, and when we were in trouble, we had to sit on the stool until we were allowed up. If we got up, our time started over. A designated spot like that works quite well, because kids (even little kids) will recognize that spot as a place they don't want to be. Just make sure they can't sit on the stool (or chair, couch, whatever) and watch the tv, or play with a toy.

If they did something really bad, sit them on the stool for a time, and tell them that you will be telling their parents about when they arrive to pick them up. That way, if the parents decide they need further punishment, they can dole it out themselves.

Answer 4

In this situation I would say don't spank. I personally spank my kids when needed, but I don't allow others to spank my kids & I would never spank someone else's kid even if they needed it & the parent said I could. It just asks for trouble. Even though I am for spanking, I also believe different kids respond to different forms of discipline. You could try time outs or taking things away or of they're really good do something with them they will enjoy. Good luck.

Answer 5

I would not do it. I don't think spanking is the best way to discipline, personally. But, I also think that if someone chooses to do it, it is a very personal thing and it would be inappropriate for anyone else to spank their kids in place of them. It's just not your job, and your cousin shouldn't expect you to do that - even if she does, you have absolutely no obligation to spank her kids. Think about when you were a kid, too - it's bad enough that your parents spank you, but to have other people spanking you, it would just be too much to handle.
My own opinion is that violence teaches violence, but I am not being judgemental, I really don't think anyone should spank another person's kids with or without their permission.

Answer 6

I am 15, I was spanked whenever I had misgivings at school, or utter disrespect too my parents. I was punished with a mix of groundings and spankings. Even at my school we have corporal punishment.

My whole point is wanna know the difference between me and the other kids who didn't get spankings, I get good grades, have a nice social life, and have a repsect for authority.The others have no respect at all, are sexually active, it sickens me.

Personally in your situation though, I would tell the parents and let them deal with this, but moraly there is nothing wrong with corporal punishment.

Thanks.

Answer 7

The kids are high strung and spirited because they have this spanking as punishment. All spanking does is relieve the anger of the parent and engender rage and shame and hostility in the child. As for telling you to do it, that is just absurd. Make them stand in a corner or take away TV, phone and PC privileges, but don't hit them.

Answer 8

I also believe in spanking. I believe there is a fine line between spanking and abuse. I'm not talking about abuse as in beating your child, but I believe there is a proper way to spank your child. For instance, if you are not spanking them to teach them (consistently spanking during hissy fits) but only doing it when they are inconveniencing you, and you don't talk to them about what they did to earn that spanking, I think that starts to border on abuse. You are not trying to teach them at that point, just stop the current situation. If they aren't learning from it, what good does it do either of you? A woman in my church spanks her kids, but always waits until they are not in public, and until she calms down herself. She then talks to the kid to make him understand that they are getting a spanking because they did this and this is why they need to learn from it. She has 8 kids and all are very well behaved and I've known her for 11 years and never seen her spank her children. As far as your cousin, it's not your place to punish her kids. If you were a primary caretaker (legal guardian and such) then yes, but you do need to let your cousin know what her kids did and have a talk with her about how you feel about it. I don't know if any of that makes sense, but I feel like spanking is an important way to discipline and it's being frowned on so much.

Answer 9

I don't think you should spank them since they aren't your children. I would try time out - if they are hyper active children sitting still for a few minutes will be good for them. Also you might try rewards or privileges for good behaviour instead of focusing on bad behaviour. When I used to babysit for my nephews I would praise and reward good behaviour & it almost became a contest between the 2 of them who could behave the best!! I hope this helps- Good luck!!

Answer 10

Unless a child is in a life threatening situation (running out into the street, going to touch a hot stove..ect) I don't beleive in spanking.

Teachign a child to "be nice" or quit a bad behavior by demonstrating a bad behavior is not teaching ANYTHING.