I belong to a singles group. Some of the women in the group are really getting on my nerves because they sometimes comment on what I eat or don't eat. For example, one night I ordered a salad and one of them said "Oh, I'm so proud of you, you're eating salad!" Another night, one of the others commented "You didn't touch your beans!" so I said "That's right, I didn't touch them. Would you like to take them home with you?" then she acted flustered "No, I don't want them." I smiled and said "I thought you might want them since you were so interested in them." I'm an adult. I can't understand why these women are so interested in my food choices! It's ticking me off but I don't want to be rude and say "Why do you think any of this is any of your business?" or, in the case of salad lady, "I didn't order salad to win your approval and, frankly, I don't care what you think." What can I do?
2007-10-06 13:16:55 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I run a singles group and these women are in the group; they come to group dinners at restaurants. I don't so much "hang with them" as friends but more like tolerate them during the meetings. I could throw them out of the group, it's my group, but just because they're on MY nerves doesn't mean that the guys in the group don't find them attractive and that's what the group is all about, helping people make new friends and possibly find romance.
2007-10-06 13:31:47 · update #1
You do like any good person does...
You actually ask them to stop. There really isn't much of a way around it. The worst part about it is, you know and I know that its going to blow up one day and destroy the singles thing completely. So pretty much the next time it happens, you just need to politely confront it when it happens to be said.
Along the lines of "...Any of your business" no, probably not. My thought would be more like...I like the flavor of the beans but i'm not really interested in eating them right now. Also an excuse that tends to work is..."I just felt like eating a salad tonight." Really kills anything they might say about what you ordered. It won't be that awkward as throwing a pie in their face, but its quite effective.
Usually the way to kill people being critical like that...or in some cases coming off as critical would be to politely let them know. Drop hits like I'm just in the mood for the meat, but the beans had to come with it.
If that doesn't work...I suggest shoving them into the salad bar. Nothing says fun like ranch dressing in her hair.
Good luck!!
2007-10-06 13:43:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you underweight? Perhaps they are concerned about you. I sense you a have a lot of hostility which is of course your right. Try to look at it as caring ( Im thinking of the person who said Im so proud of you) I think there are still some etiquette books out there that say it is totally incorrect to discuss food at the table. I know for sure I have read it in some as I am a big ettiquette book fan. It said that the food should not be discussed at all. I know that most people do discuss it especially when at a nice restaurant being served some esoteric plate. But I hope you can learn to ignore it, not be bothered by it since no one today has the least concept of etiquette anymore. Try to let it go. If you cant, and you get upset like you seem here, then maybe you should not go to meals with those people?
2007-10-06 16:06:16 · answer #2 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just ignore them and change the subject. If those certain women keep bothering you, I would just pull them to the side and tell them how you fell and ask them to stop. Making a big comment about it in front of everyone will not only embarrass you, but your group memember as well.
Keep your head held high and move on. Try to sit with other ppl at the dinner table and don't sit so close to them this way you will be giving other ppl attention and get to know your group a lot better.
2007-10-06 15:53:14 · answer #3 · answered by orangie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UGH - I'm right there with you. I hate it when people comment on the food you eat. It's so 3rd grade. I used to get really self-conscious at work around lunch time too, but I don't anymore. I just eat what I want to eat and figure that it's really their hang-up, not mine. If anything, they're just trying to make themselves look better, but they really come off looking insecure.
2007-10-06 14:58:40 · answer #4 · answered by Miss Brown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i cant stand people who comment on what i eat so i totally understand. at this old job i had someone would literally comment every single time i ate something. sometimes they would ask what it was or whether it was an appropriate time of day to eat it. after a while i tried to eat by myself. i would just say something like.."wow you are really concerned with what i eat. were you brought up like that?" something like that. something designed to be a little tiny tad nasty just to stop them doing it in future.
2007-10-06 13:50:26 · answer #5 · answered by darkling 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do this: Give the person a longer than normal look in the eye, just sit and look a few seconds and then firmly say, "Why would you bother to notice..." works almost every time.
2007-10-06 15:00:36 · answer #6 · answered by Wrong number 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always (sarcastically) thank them for being my personal nutritionist and give some kind of I eat what I feel like line.
2007-10-06 15:04:52 · answer #7 · answered by zippythejessi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the sound of it, I think you know exactly what to say!! You go girl!!
2007-10-06 13:25:05 · answer #8 · answered by muffin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh, why do you continue to "hang" with them?
2007-10-06 13:27:56 · answer #9 · answered by pixiedoopz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
say "I already have a mother"...
2007-10-06 13:20:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋