I really love my children. However, I often find that it is hard for me to relate to my daughter (10). Why is it that I like it better to hold her brother(11) in my arms, to talk to him about life and to relate to him in general? I feel like a monster about this and I even have nightmares about me abandoning her. She is a lovely, beautiful, good and wonderful child. She is 2nd of three children. The youngest is also a boy. Help me please!
2007-10-06 12:36:05 · 11 answers · asked by ssncnmks 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is just naturally easier to relate and open up to your sons. It is OK, you can make it better. You should be spending at least 2 hrs a week on girl time. Take her out on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon as a regular thing and go for tea and a cookie or get a manicure (just polish) or to a local trail for a hike. The point is always spend some special alone time with her and if she is in the room when you are cuddling with the boys invite her in.
I know very well that my mother preferred her sons over us girls and I have a 16 yr old daughter who thankfully doesn't realize that I cuddle with her 3 yr old brother much more than I did with her. I think for me I wanted her to be strong and in control and I want my son to be loving and emotionally available.
I guess all we can do is try to do better huh?
2007-10-06 12:44:27 · answer #1 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how your daughter feels, I am a middle child out of three children. My father always could relate to my older brother and younger sister than me. First, you have to understand that being going into your double digit ages is very diffcult for younger people. You are trying to grow out of being a little child so older people view you as a teenager and your trying to still be a kid. You need to show her you really love her because if you don't soon when she becomes a teenager she will start rejecting you. You need to be there for her emotional too because she could be viewing your favoritism as rejection to her. She is growing up to and if you show more affection towards her brothers she will grow up without a father in her life. Hope everything works out.
2007-10-06 15:03:03 · answer #2 · answered by Skye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have seen this situation before my sister in law has three children and her middle child is a very good girl always excelling in every aspect of her life but her mother and father pay little to no attention to her it's quite common for the middle child to be ignored but you have already taken the first step by asking for advice ,just set aside a sometime for your daughter and you to spend time together and that way she will feel special because she is having her and daddy time and do things with her that she likes to do and you will soon find yourself looking forward to the time that you spend with your daughter oh and this doesn't mean you don't love your daughter any less than your boys you just need to reconnect with her that's all it'll work out for you. good luck
2007-10-06 12:53:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her about her interests. Try and take her out some where. I used to love going for cycle rides with my dad. Teach her something new. She may also feel left out, being the middle child, my brother had that problem, so do a lot of other middle children. Just spending more time with her doing more of her interest with her will help a lot.
2007-10-06 12:47:11 · answer #4 · answered by Elzbeeve 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming you are the father because you don't say. They best way to build a better relationship is spend time with her and do activities that both of you can enjoy. Hating your self and not working at building a better relationship won't help anyone. Good luck and I am sure you will notice the change.
2007-10-06 12:45:45 · answer #5 · answered by Michael K 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Middle children tend to feel they weren't as loved as the others, because they aren't the oldest, and there not the baby. You need to make an effort to show her you love her, and spend just time with her doing things she likes. And you need to do it now, because your relationship will only be more strained in a few years once she is a teen.
And boys are usually closers to their mothers, and girls to their fathers.
2007-10-06 12:45:54 · answer #6 · answered by cris 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your a guy, its probably because you relate to the situations he is in, the best way to relate to her, is to try to find something that you both enjoy, for example maybe you can coach a team sport she plays, or even just play games, just find something that you can both enjoy, and if there is nothing, fake it and fake it well. At least you care enough to notice, so thats a start.
2007-10-06 12:42:49 · answer #7 · answered by scorch_22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spend more time with your child it is more of a getting to know her. get a babysitter to watch your baby boy and go out and eat somewhere nice with the daughter because, it is like freinds if you dont know anyone like at a new school are you gonna walk up to someone new in 7th grade and say"hey your my best freind" Absolutely not!! so get to know her more and then youll see howw much it changes.
2007-10-06 12:51:26 · answer #8 · answered by royce20002006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be more specific age, sex, you have a problem doesn't matter what sex you are, all children should be treated the same, and I hope you are not "too" close to the boys, you have to love your children but some go too far, you need help, maybe the girl will be better of in the long run, not being so close, she will have nothing to loose when she grows up and leaves home, pity really as it is a wonderful experience to have a united family and enjoy each others company and spend time going places and enjoying their growing up,
2007-10-06 12:56:30 · answer #9 · answered by please ask m 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Been there...working to change it. I have a son and can laugh and play w/ him better than my daghter...good luck to both of us I guess! =)
2007-10-06 12:50:03 · answer #10 · answered by MomX's2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋