Please help with a formerly nice cat who since our honeymoon has become mean to the person who cared for him?

Question

My wife and I have a neutered male cat that we have had for almost two years from now. He was and has been about the friendliest cat i've ever met, not just to us, but our friends and family. when we went on our honeymoon my mother took care of our cats for us. she said the first day she came he acted nice and when she went to clean their litter box he seriously attacked her. she had to go to the e.r. on account of him. and everyday that she came back he tried to do the same thing. he basically stalked her like prey. even when we returned home he was friendly to us and our friends, but our parents visited and he acted like she was his mortal enemy. she has been around him in the past and he acted normally. but since our honeymoon he hates her. he has never acted this way to any other person before or after. at the same time, he had never been without us for more than a day or so before our honeymoon. has anyone heard of anything like this, or have any help?

in response to some of the comments: yes he still acts exactly the same towards my wife and i. and even our friends. i can't tell you how many of our friends say that they would quickly take him if we ever needed to give him away. he's like a mix of a cat and a puppy if you understand what i mean.

and with certainty i can say that my mother has never done anything to that cat. she has had cats and dogs herself her entire and especially loves cats. i am assured that she did nothing to him.

if it helps with the details: after he originally attacked her she went into the next room (the bathroom) to get cleaned up. and while she was in there he clawed at the door and carpeting below it while growling in a low voice. and as soon as she would open the door a crack he would try to dart in. when i saw him around my mother his main characteristic is that he crouched to the ground with his eyes open wide and his mouth hanging open with gutturally growling. hope this helps a bit.

Answer 1

Wow. Your cat is extremely smart. That's the good news.

The bad news is that your cat is so smart that he's holding a grudge against your mother because you went and left him in her care. He remembers this well. He was betrayed.

My question would be if this cat is still acting normally toward you and your wife.

Edit - Thank you for the additional info. I certainly was not trying to imply that your mother did anything to this animal. She didn't have to. The change of venue and your absence was enough for the cat to associate with a negative experience. Strange house + new person = lots of stress.

This is a very tough problem. I feel that your best course of action is to perhaps reintroduce your cat to your mother in your home on supervised visits and to make those visits as pleasant for the cat as possible. Catnip rubbed on hands, lots of nummies from Mom and quality playtime will eventually turn this cat around as long as you're consistent and persistent about correcting the kitty's aggression with sharp verbal interruptions and then immediate distraction with something more pleasant.

I hope this helps. Good luck.

2nd edit for Elaine M. - Outstanding explanation. Good job.

Answer 2

Fear aggression can arise when a cat is exposed to unfamiliar people, animals or stimuli such as smell or noise. Though most cats retreat when afraid, those that are on their home territory may feel more inclined to fight. This type of aggression can also arise when a family member is associated with an unpleasant experience. Perhaps your cat associated your sudden absence with the arrival of your mother, and this may have triggered his hostile reaction. Does she have any pets of her own? Perhaps your cat could detect their scent on her and that made him feel uneasy.

Cats reach social maturity at around the age of 2, and sometimes they will exhibit territorial aggression and feel a need to defend it from "intruders".

The web article below explains about the various causes of aggressive behaviour and how to treat it.

http://www.sniksnak.com/cathealth/aggression.html

Bach Flower Remedies can be helpful in treating behavioural problems in animals. The web article below explains more about how they work and which ones to use.

http://www.cpnewcastle.co.uk/bachflowerremedies.htm

EDIT: Thanks for the extra info. The two articles below may help with re-introducing your mother to your cat. Feliway is a pheromone that mimics the scent found in cats' cheeks and it's a smell they find comforting. Perhaps you could use the plug-in version in the home and use the spray on your mother's shoes etc. when she visits. It might help him feel less threatened by her presence.

http://www.hilltopanimalhospital.com/cornell%20feline%20aggression.htm
http://petshrink.com/articles/aggression_cat.html

Answer 3

I don't know what would have provoked the first attack but after that he may have thought she was going to attack him because advancing on a cat with wide eyes is an attack signal. If she was (understandably) nervous after the first attack she would probably have been giving out all the wrong vibes to him the later times. She should make herself very small when he is around and don't look at him at all at first. Later she could try the slow blink. Observe your cat doing this to you, it's a sign to relax, everything's cool. Copy it, show your mum. It could help her relationship with him.
Cats don't like to be stared at, they perceive it as a threat.

Answer 4

It was alway so but that world has changed. Women and minorities have more power and the country is barely white holding on to a slim majority. Now that the demographics have changed most groups think that they would be better served by the left. The fact that the right has been hijacked by the hard right has not made them more electable.

Answer 5

Oh, yes, I've heard of it.

In his eyes, you're gone and she's there. She drove YOU off, out of the house and he's worried about the same thing. Far as he knew, she killed you and hid the bodies, now she's claiming your place (and his place) as her territory.

He decides to say 'no' and defends it! Drives her off each time too. Then, SURPRISE! You're still alive and return BECAUSE he's driven her off and has kept the home territory his (and yours). He's feeling REALLY good about that and you're home and everything is fine again.

But she still comes around occasionally, potentially to drive you two off, so he still guards the home territory in case you can't.

-------------------OK, that's the cat's version of what happened.

How do you explain to him what REALLY happened? You can't. Just put him in a different room when she comes over, that'll be the best way to avoid problems. I'm not sure what you can do to avoid this with a cat sitter in the future.

Answer 6

I'm not trying to be funny or mean, but your mother did something to your cat I've had cats all my life and have never known them to be vengeful to anyone. keep your cat away from your mother and they both should be fine.