21 month old hitting what did you do?

Question

i took my daughter to feed the ducks like we always do i told her its time to go home now the ducks are full up like i always say .... she told me no mummy so i picked her up like i always do and said home time then she nipped my face punched me pulled my hair and screamed all the way through it i put her in the car and told her... you dont hit mummy or pull hair ok now be good

she was great then today she hit my mum so i took her to her room told her that was naughty and she was to give granny a hug and say sorry so she done that turned back into an angel and everything was fine
THEN
bed time never a problem before
i said come and put your pj's on for bed i sat her on my knee she told me no punched pulled hair the same as before i wouldnt let her leave my knee i kept her there the whole time and i didnt say anything i kept saying can i take your t-shirt off now she kept hitting then she came round and let me change her with no fuss what would you have done if your child hit you

ə-bŏm'ə-nā'shən

terrible two's started last week this is just a new thing she has addes to her list

my partner says to smack her hand or bum not hard of course but is this not just teaching her that hitting is ok.... im not a susie sunshine mum at all im firm when i need to be and the crocodile tears dont work with me and she knows it .... this is the first time i havent knowne what to do for the best and this is the worst thing she has ever done she is a great loving little girl just trying her luck

Answer 1

I am SHOCKED that so many of your answers have been to give your child a smack/slap hard/soft, whatever you want to call it. Your daughter is NOT EVEN TWO YEARS OLD! If advice like this is given its no wonder our children are growing up so confused about right and wrong these days. Im not saying i totally disagree with any form of phsical punishment, but for a child this young it will hold no meaning. Please please do not smack your young daughter she is justing testing her bounderies, finding her strength and learning new ways of getting her own way. Distraction tatics are always useful with this age group. If she is hitting you again then as soon as she does it you tell her once in a low tone of voice that it is not nice and she must not hit anyone then just as quickly as it all started you distract her by with for example ' shall we look at this book or what shall we do in the morning. Show your daughter that she will get more of your attention being nice and cooperative. YOU ARE THE ADULT and can control your emotions you HAVE to remain calm when they are flexing theirs. MOST IMPORTANTLY LEAD BY EXAMPLE and remember we all have our off days.

Answer 2

When my son was slightly older I would always tell him he was doing wrong (No! That's naughty) if he persisted I would do what I call 'Time Out' and tell him I would count to three and if he didn't stop then he would go to his room. Close the door (and sometimes hold on to the handle) for two minutes (his age then) a minute for every year! Then release the handle. He would usually appear after about 5 minutes or so unless he had found a teddy or cuddly toy - which we would hear him 'scold' (naughty teddy)! When he appeared I would ask him if he was sorry - most time he was, but on the odd occasion that he wasn't I would then ignore him until he said sorry (which followed after a few minutes). Don't give up or give in to the little darlings. Stand your ground and they will soon get the message. Another bit of advice, don't say "Can I" but "I am. Good luck and by the way you sound like a great mum with her head screwed on. Another thing I have thought of is - tell your daughter in advance (about 5 minutes) that you are going somewhere else and shall be saying goodbye to the ducks in a few minutes - they like to be prepare and at this age are slight control freaks. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

For starters, you need to get really, really firm with her over this - no "susie sunshine" mommy on this one. A loud "No, not acceptable!" will get her attention and then smack her hands (not hard) so that she realizes what you are saying "no" to. Put her in a time out as you have and also stay with the apology.
For those who are ready to give me the thumbs down - I don't believe in hitting or spanking. What I am suggesting isn't much more than a tap.

Answer 4

my 21 month old son is doing the same he is head butting me hitting kicking it is hard to know what to do for best but i have been smacking his hand not hard so he knows its naughty and he does sometimes come over and give me kiss and say sorry or i pick up some of his toys and tell him if he doesnt start being good they are going in the bin for the bin men and he says no sorry good luck

Answer 5

i find the best thing to do is ignore them. there are 2 reasons why a toddler does this (well main reasons) 1 is for attension and to is because they are exploring their individuality. it will eventually wear of. when my son first started e did smack him on the bum (with nappy on) but this seemed inaffective if not made it worse, we tried the naughty step he thought it was a game, we tried sayin no, which didnt make any difference just that hes learnt to say no at everything else. we started ignoring him when he does it and now it has died down loads (although still does it evry now n then) he will smack me or his dad and i can see out of the corner of my eye lifting his arm up waiting to do it again once he gets a reaction from me, but after him waitin for a bit he gets bored and runs of to play with toys. its a pain in the bum phase but most kids go through it. good luck

Answer 6

My daughter is only 11 months old so I haven't gotten to the terrible two's yet. But I used to work in a nursery school and the owner was a firm believer in time outs, she would say children need that time to get into control. Also, she used to tell the parents when they asked what to do about hitting was to NEVER correct a negative with a negative, like hitting them back and say no hitting or how do you like it. She would say to grab there hands and tell them you are not allowed to hit. It sounds a little silly but it worked. Good luck with your daughter.

Answer 7

Well, if it just happened the once , I would just explain to her that it was not nice.
But seeing that it has happened a few times and she sounds quite vicious about it, slap her ***, and put her to bed.
There was a question on here this afternoon about violent kids and how far would you go till you smacked them back.
I think your daughter even though young, should have a smack back so she knows that it hurts and its not nice.
I would also cancel the duck feeding for a while too, until she behaves.
Hope you can sort her.

Answer 8

I'M SORRY I'M not sure what is best. my boy is two and a half. he is such a pain but is an absolute angel when he wants to be which makes me suspect he knows what he is doing!i think they grow out of it. but also agression and hitting can make things worse so try cuddling and explainingwhat they have done wrong. it occasionally works!

Answer 9

Give her a smack, not too hard (obviously), but thats what little kids need to show them that its naughty to hit mummy, and then she can see what it feels like to be hurt.

I don't agree with what the person above me says because if you show you are hurt or upset they will think they have a hold over you (when they don't get their own way mummy will be upset) Its sort of reducing your authority.

When me and my brothers were little we got a smack on the backside for being naughty, and we would never dare to be naughty again, and instead gave more respect to them

Answer 10

My son is almost 3 and quit hitting. Hitting is normal for kids...its a thing they go threw...What I did with both of my kids to make it stop is tell them :"I don't like that...I don't like it when you hit me its not very nice at all" and repeat yourself with a serious yet sad, because you were hit, face and see if that helps at all. It did for my children, it shows them that you have feelings too..your not just a punching bag lol. Good luck!