They are all under the age of four so I can't go unaccompanied very easily. Hoew can we get him home? We are barely surviving this, I can't afford a babysitter so I am with them 24/7. We don't care if him comming home means he can't reinlist, but I can't make it with these kids much longer, I lose it on them 20+ times a day and wish I could just walk away from it all... Someone help get my hubby home!!
2007-10-06 09:18:54 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Go online to www.legion.org....Family Support Program tab. The American Legion has help for you.
Your husband is fulfilling his duty. Your tour of duty is to keep the home front going. You can't bring him home, but the Legion can help you out.
2007-10-06 09:44:00 · answer #1 · answered by commanderbuck383 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Back in79 when I was sent to Korea, we had 2 children under 3 and we decided to go unaccompanied to Korea. We were in the 2nd Division area but we survived. I was an E5 but we made it. I went first and found a small home to live in. The day my family was supposed to come the president of South korea was killed, so that delayed her for one month. They got there the week of Thanksgiving and we survived it. I found a one room house with some very nice Korean people and they became my children's grandparents while we were there, No you can not go to the commissary or the PX but twice a year families are allowed in. We were at Camp Edwards which is near the DMZ and the people there were very supportive. the people at the px would let us sneak in once in a while but I had to be the one that payed, we would all go to Seoul together and i would do the shopping but she could get hair done and go to lots of the shops. we mostly lived on the economy, bought food at the markets and i brought home several gallons of fresh water every night. the kids bath in a tub as did my wife. once a week the commander would let her use the officer quarters showers. or we would take a weekend and go to the Rec center in Seoul and she would shower there. Of course we had the church to help us too. their were more then us who went unaccompanied and that was a good support. If you at a military post get involved with the wife's clubs and keep busy. many spouses are in the same position you are and they find support with the others there. Chaplin's and special services will help but you have to look for them.
2007-10-06 09:33:01 · answer #2 · answered by momoron 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Before you can get your hubby home, you need some immediate help. Contact the base family support center and the mental health offices. They can get you someone to talk to and help you find support groups and put you in tough with the STAR spouse for your husband's unit. She can help you find someone to give you a break, folks to help out with some of the basic things around the house your husband may have handled (mowing the yard, fixing simple things, getting the car serviced). You should also contact your husband's command..they are there to help as well,.
Once you do that, these folks can help you figure out what to do next. If bringing him home turns out to be the best thing, they can help you get things going. You will need to tell your husband all of this is going on..you can't get him home unless he initiates it. I can't promise they will let him come back..that may depend on many things. If they do, it will be an emergency re-assignment and there is a chance your whole family would be sent to a new base.
It is tough to be a part from your husband, espeically with so many young kids. You sound as if you are depressed..getting some help may make it easier. Make the calls immediately..talk with your spouse and go step by step. Stay safe.
2007-10-06 13:39:35 · answer #3 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Im sorry but this the life of a military spouse, my husband has been deployed for the past 13 and half months, at least you dont have to worry about him being in a war zone. And you know he can call and get online when ever he chooses, not when he gets a break and the lines are up and working...also the army doesnt care if you have 600 children, you made them you have to take care of them.
2007-10-06 09:46:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
OK, I'm not trying to be rude in this...
but you knew what you were getting yourself into before getting married and popping out 4 kids so I don't really have much sympathy for you. It's hard being a military wife and a mother but you have to buck up and live up to the responsibilities that you signed up for when you married him.
he's doing his job and now it's time to do yours.
Try talking to family and friends about the problem you're having with your children. See if you can drop them off at mom's or a friend's for a few hours. Also, not trying to be mean again but maybe you should have considered the future possibilities before having that many children...
2007-10-06 09:43:50 · answer #5 · answered by Taylor Terror 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you are stressed out. First, if you can reach out your family. But if that is not an option, hopefully in your branch of the service you have a Family Support Group or an Ombudsman you can speak with. Usually they can put you in contact with the military support center to help find some respite care for the children or counseling for you. I am not of your financial situation, if your are reserve or active-duty, but you can meet with someone at the family service center to help with the finances and to make sure you have a budget so you can afford some time alone.
I wish you the best and I appreciate your husband's service to our country as well as your sacrifice.
Take care....
2007-10-06 15:18:40 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your husband signed up for a job, he has to do it. You have to suck it up and get over it. Even if he could come home, what would he do for a career if he wasnt in the military? With 4 kids, you better think about that. How can you not afford a babysitter???
2007-10-06 12:52:29 · answer #7 · answered by Cass 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't have children--which is lucky--but my husband is currently deployed too, and I've been thinking the same thing you have. I hate deployment and I wish it never happened, so does my husband... military life SUCKS. NO ONE is ready to be an army wife, and NO ONE here has the right to judge us for being depressed and over-incumbered. Some women can do it, some women have the money and the patience to just *wait*... other women can't. There is nothing wrong with that. I'm not going to do this for more than one deployment. My husband knows that. We had no idea what we were getting into.
Send me and IM/email/what have you, I'd love to talk... other advice? Seek out your company's chaplain, or have your husband talk to the chaplain over there, go for a hardship discharge. If you can't do this alone, then he might be able to get back.
2007-10-06 11:04:56 · answer #8 · answered by amh 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I understand your problem, bringing up kids on your own is hard, but there are things you need to remember with kids and that is get them into a routine, sounds boring but its necessary. You need to make routines fun but discliplined and then get out and join other moms in the same position.
Find someone on the base that you can talk to even by telephone, you have to make friends and make an effort to join in. If you have access to a swimming pool then young kids love this and it will be a meeting place for other Mums, if you keep your kids active they eat better and FALL ASLEEP quicker. If you are kept busy then you wont be constantly reminded about your Husbands job. Dont forget he signed up love and you signed with him. Try to just look foward to better times. Although your kids are only young I can honestly tell you that they age very fast and become great companions when they are older. Hope this helps.
2007-10-06 09:30:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
People like you piss me off to no end. This is the job of a military wife. Many have gone through this before you and many more will do it after. You husband has a job to do. It does not matter where he is deployed to. You are lucky he is only in Korea for a year. He could be in Iraq for 18 months. You seriously need to find support groups. Contact your FRG, church, whatever. You need to find friends that have play groups. They are out there, you obviously aren't looking hard enough. Being a military wife is a tough job, but guess what, it's what you have to do. I have been doing it for a long time. Just so you know, there is no way for him to come home early. So suck it up and do your research for support groups. Also, if you can't handle that many kids, you should have though about that before you had them. We tried for 5 years before we finally got pregnant with our first. So be grateful it's so easy for you.
2007-10-06 10:03:56 · answer #10 · answered by Proud Army Wife 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I am so sorry to hear that. I work from home and take care of my children 24/7 so I know how frustrated and isolated you can feel. My husband is not in the military.
I found this sites that may be of help to you with your question,
and at the very least offer you support.
God Speed
2007-10-06 09:30:50 · answer #11 · answered by Hot Star 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋