Is there anything wrong with leaving a lying loser while you are pregnant?

Question

I am 5 mos pregnant and also have a 2 year old from a lying, deceiving loser. My family, his family, including him find it shocking that I would leave him now at a time like this, especially since I'm 5 mos pregnant. I feel so sorry for my 2 year old and the baby in my womb that they won't have their dad around everyday. I know that leaving a man while you are pregnant is wrong to some, but I can not take any more lies and deceit from him. People tell me that I am crazy to leave him being pregnant especially since our daughter is only 2 and not to mention the unborn child. He told me if the kids ask when they grow up why he is not with me, he said he'll tell them that I left him while I was pregnant and it's my fault. This man lies too much, makes promises and never keep them. He do a lot of talking and less action. He hides things from me. Just because I am pregnant from a loser doesn't mean I should keep him. I feel bad for my kids because I grew up and was raised by both parents.

Answer 1

Leave him and deal with the future later. He is a jerk to talk about using your kids against you later in life. All he is doing is trying to control you mentally.

You sound like a really good mom who ended up with a jerk....it happens.

Answer 2

you have to decide how much is enough. It will be hard on you having a newborn and a 2 year old alone so if you can hang in there for a while longer and let him help you through this, it may be better for you but at the same time keep track of his lies and deceit in a diary so that when the time comes for divorce you have something to use against him when it comes to matters such as support and/or alimony. As far as growing up with one parent as opposed to two, sometimes having a single parent is better if the other parent is a poor role model, as this guy is from what you say.

Answer 3

You are doing your kids a favor! He will always be their dad and you should never criticize him in front of them, but you have to consider the example he's setting for them. If and when they ask why you left, tell them the truth. It was an unhealthy relationship and you chose to leave it rather than raise your children in that environment. Be responsible, learn from your mistakes and give your children a stable home life. If family and friends aren't being supportive, try counseling if you don't know who to call, call a center for domestic violence, they have family counselors and resources that can help you. It doesn't matter that he didn't hurt you physically, he hurt you with his lies. If you are doubting yourself, rent Liar,Liar and have a good laugh. Remember in real life we all can't expect happy endings. Good Luck and God Bless you.

Answer 4

Kids set who they imagine they can become on who they see their parents as. You know how you "become your parent" and do things you forgot and swore you would never do when you became an adult. Its because as a kid your parents "imprited" themselves on you.

Girls go after men who have personalities consistent with their father. They see themselves as being able to achieve what their mothers do.

Boys go after women as modeled by their father. They treat women as their father does. They see themselves as being able to become what their father was.

If your husband is the using, abusing, lying person you have described, then its likely a good idea to leave.

I think you already know what you need to do, and are just looking for a supportive community. I think the questions behind the question include "how do I get by without" and "where do I find the emotional support to get the strength to do the hard things that I know are the right things".

You should ask yourself those questions.

Answer 5

well i would say that leaving ur partner is not the wrong thing to do if ur unhappy with him, u need to think about ur emotional wellbeing which will affect ur toddler and ur unborn baby.I wouldnt worry about what anyone else thinks its ur decision to make u have to live and put up with him. As far as ur partner telling the kids its ur fault all u can do is make there own minds up and by the sounds of things they wont be too impressed with the way his treated u. I have come from a 1 parent family my mum dad divorced when i was 5 he used to beat her but for me and my sis it was the best decision for all of us. I have a toddler and i split up with his dad when he was 10 months old coz of the way he treated me and didnt want my son seeing that when he grows up. U need to be strong and make the right decision for urself and ur children dont listen to any of his crap. hope everything goes ok.

Answer 6

If you trul love your kids than you leave your husband because he's not making you happy. You don't want your kids to grow up in a family where there is no committments between the mother and the father so leave him.But if you still have deep feelings for the father of your children than remain living with him.

Answer 7

Personal'ly I'd say this is exactly the right time to leave him. Show him and everyone else that you have more respect for yourself and you are not prepared to live like that. Do you really want your children to grow up seeing that kind of example from their father? he also sounds very manipulative and emotionally abusive. Forget what other people are telling you - they don't live your life. Crazy to leave him? Honey, you'd be downright crazy to stay.

Answer 8

He can still be in their lives every day if he chooses. He doesn't have to live in the house to be there and do that. If he chooses to not do that then that is his fault not yours. You need to look out for the best interests of you and your kids at this point. You do not want them growing up and thinking that lying and deceit are ok to do. You just do what you think is best for you and them and to hel* with the rest.

Answer 9

Your awesome as a mom?!? Are you insane? in the adventure that your " stellar " husband maintains to pay for many of those infants, the place is that going to leave you? residing in a trailer park on suggestions. And is that what you like to your infants? And its no longer in straightforward terms money have been speaking right here. have been speaking with regards to the bigger photograph. If there is not any longer adequate money to pass around, how are your infants going to be taken care of? And what are you coaching those little ones in any case? That its okay to be married to a guy whom can no longer shop it in his pants, and has impregnated different lady? this is is okay to cheat, and lie and take care of the human beings they love like they advise no longer something? you ought to place your infants someplace, the place they understand that they are going to be enjoyed, and taught stable morals and values and that they actually could make some thing of themselves. Your awesome as a mom skill no longer something. you have proved your awesome as a mom and as a spouse. rubbish. your infants have brothers or sisters and your protecting them from understanding their family participants via fact your husband is an entire moron. How do you reside with your self each and daily? How do you even have faith that your well worth it? the guy which you married proved it time and time returned. As sorry as i've got faith to your infants, your husband has fathered different little ones, and that is going to take a great chew of money....and then what form of life will you have?

Answer 10

I think it's a good thing that you left him. You wouldn't want your kids growing up around a lying loser. He doesn't sound like he's a very good father either. You're not crazy, you've just had enough.