My friend is moving from her apt. because of a bad situation and she asked me to go over there today to help her get organized and packed. I did and she directed me as to what I should do. When I was cleaning out stuff she told me that if I saw something I wanted I could just go ahead and take it. I told her that I was not over there to take her stuff, I was over there to just help her. I did see some things that I wanted and I took them, a few of them I ask her about and then some of the things I didn't ask her about feeling embarrassed to ask her because I didn't want her to feel like I was just over there to "cash in." Now I feel guilty, like I stole from her, and I knew she was going to end up giving me some stuff and I wonder "was I really over there just to "cash in" on her move?" Cause that was not my intention. I have a guilt complex anyway. What is your input on this?
2007-10-06 06:47:15 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
she said if you wanted something, take it.
it may have been nice if you asked but dont worry too much.
If you feel guilty, just tell her an offer her stuff back. Thats the only thing you can do to truly eliminate your guilt.
2007-10-06 06:51:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, this is what i opine:
You are a friend, sincere and trustworthy, or at least you'd like to think of yourself that way. Moreover, you are human, and the characteristic instinct of any human is to follow the seven deadly sins, usually unconsciously. I may not know what your background is and you've wisely chosen not to reveal them. However, there is always the law of greed that governs our ulterior motives.
So fine, she did offer; and you did accept. There's no issue regarding that. Every offer can be accepted. It's comes down to your values on how you execute the acceptance. It would be expected of you to let her know what exactly you've taken from her. That way, she would respect you for it and allow it. The air will be cleared. Since there are items you've taken without her permission, it is now your responsibility to return them to its rightful owner with a note of apology. This will give off the impression of regret and character. It will be appreciated, I assure you.
You may have raised doubts about your integrity and this is where you get the opportunity to redeem yourself. If it makes you feel better, I'd suggest an alternative. Estimate the value of ALL that you have taken and present to your friend in an envelope a token of thanks (and I don't mean a Thank You note). This should remove all doubts about your character and re-affirm your trust.
Hope I have been able to help you, ;-)
All the best, take care...
2007-10-06 07:36:04 · answer #2 · answered by craigalias20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason you feel guilty is because you went against your conscience. You had already decided not to take anything, but then you did so anyway. it does not matter that your friend said you couold do so. You went against what your conscience said was the right thing to to.
Take the things back to your friend. Tell her the situation. Tell her about how you feel about deciding not to take anything. If she gives the things back to you, graciously thank her for the gift, give her a hug and put the episode behind you.
2007-10-06 07:17:41 · answer #3 · answered by Sldgman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I'd think back. You said that you went over to help, and didn't know she'd offer you some of her stuff. Write that down. Remember the truth -- you did NOT know going over there. The mind can play tricks on us, especially when we have guilty consciences and know that our motivation is not always pure. I'm a Christian so that my motivation can come from God and not myself. Like you, I don't trust myself.
But, I've had to learn to get past self-deception, worldy deception, or Satan's deception to remember exactly what I was feeling and write it down, so that the truth is there to re-visit and my mind won't play as many tricks. You said you went over to help -- the giving on her part came later -- you didn't ask, and you told her no at first. You did nothing wrong. Just remember that in your question, you said "I went over to help her and didn't know." The help came first!!
2007-10-06 07:02:37 · answer #4 · answered by Rhonda F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She said to take what you wanted. Even though that was not your intention, she made it alright for you to do so. To ease your guilty mind, tell her what you took. She will probably just so that it is O.K. But tell her anyway. You will feel better.
2007-10-06 06:53:19 · answer #5 · answered by magix151 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably OK since she did tell you to "take whatever you wanted."
But since you feel guilty - usually a good sign we did something wrong - just write her a very nice "THANK YOU" note telling her how much you are enjoying these gifts....and be specific.
Her response to your note will let you know if you were wrong or not.
2007-10-06 06:58:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She told you can take whatever you want. It should be fine.
2007-10-06 06:51:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋