My friend's mother was raised VERY strictly going up...too strictly to the point that I wonder if it was a tad bit destructive? What do you think of this?
My friend and her family has lived in Philly for generations. Her mother lived in a neighborhood of Philly that was not bad, but not the greatest neighborhood either(it was in-between). When her mother was 18 and a high school graduate, she wanted to go to center city Philly(oh, a whole 15mins away) to a museum or some exhibit with an all-female group of friends she'd known for a while. Her mother(aka my friend's grandmother) refused to let her! You heard me right...at age 18, she was "not allowed" to go out with her girl friends(all girls, so no chances of premarital sex) to her own city! Center city Philly wasn't slummy either.
Isn't that a bit weird? How is that preparing her for the real world and living on her own?
2007-10-06 05:05:12 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
More info about my friend's mom: She also wasn't allowed to date or do much of anything. Because she was a girl, she was allowed to do much less than her brother. In the end, she ended up getting married at a young age, had a few kids, and then the guy ditched/divorced her and hasn't been around to visit the kids in YEARS. I'm wonder if this woman woulda still chosen to date such a "winner" if she had more experience with dating guys and developing better, more seasoned perceptions. I mean, she wasn't even allowed to go to her own city with a big group of friends!(even though there's safety in numbers)
2007-10-06 05:07:10 · update #1
Diva, you are totally right! My friend's grandmother(aka her mom's mom) was raised VERY strict back in the 1950s, and as a result at age 18 she ended up marrying the 1st "Grease lightning" slick guy she ended up dating. She had 2 kids with the guy and then he bounced.
As a result, the grandmother was a single mom for a good number of years and very strict on her kids...doing things like not letting her daughter go to downtown Philly at age 18 with her friends. That's what led to her daughter(my friend's mom) also getting married young, having 2 kids, and the husband bouncing.
Anyone see the recurring pattern here? Luckily my friend went to college(had to PLEAD her parents to let her live in a dorm, even though she was footing the whole bill all by herself), so she was able to experiment w/ dating and develop better judgment in guys than the women before her.
2007-10-06 07:01:11 · update #2
Yea it is a bit much... I'm a mom of a girl that's 18... And I am some what over protective...But this lady is going over board ..... She probably married to the first guy she met just to get away from home and now shes doing the same thing to her daughter....Or it could go the other way and when the daughter moves out she will go nuts experimenting with god only knows what
2007-10-06 06:18:33 · answer #1 · answered by diva102288 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Chances are she probably would have married someone else if she would have had more life experiences. It's good that women are out in the workplace today and are getting independent so they don't feel like they have to get married to get away from home. Life has changed alot over the past 60 years. . .mostly for the better, especially for women. Aren't you glad you are growning up now and not with her mom?
2007-10-06 12:17:12 · answer #2 · answered by LAL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some parents are over protective and probably regret it later but if that was the way she (the gandmother) had been brought up herself she didn,t know any different and was doing what she saw as the best for her daughter and then it just carries on through the generations
2007-10-06 12:33:58 · answer #3 · answered by john s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
things have changed alot over th generations hon. n still in some countries there is no such thing as dating n NO sex b4 marriage or ur stoned t death. so thou it hindered her growth n judgement, it's a harsh reality. i never dated til i was 17 n up til that time n even after, i had a curfew.
2007-10-06 12:20:30 · answer #4 · answered by kitten 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is, is not really helping her because she can not go out and experience what life is going to be like, why was she not aloud to go to a museum with a group of friend? that's crazy!
2007-10-06 12:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it takes all kinds.
2007-10-06 12:09:44 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋