younger man asking an older women out..I am in my 20's she is in her 30's. Can anything happen between us?

Question

There's this women I like at work who is in her mid/late 30's and I'm only in my early 20's. She has a stable job etc.. and Im only a student. Weve known eachother for a few months now (from work) and weve gotten to know eachother quite well etc... we talk alot when we see one another and I know that we both feel comfortable around eachother as weve both broken that physical contact barrier of letting eachother touch one another and playing around etc...Weve often flirted at times...I guess you can say weve both become good work friends.
The only problem is that I plucked up the courage to ask her out the other day to go out sometime and she said that I was a nice guy and that she liked me but I was too young. (Bear in mind the age gap I guess).
After asking her out we both got on and behaved like nothing had happened - as in we were both smiling and talking to eachother like we did before as friends etc..

She said she didnt really want to talk about it etc...
So I was just wondering if anything can happen between us and what would come between us in the future if anything? As in friendship or a relationship??
Im guessing she just wants friendship as Im too young for her but I told her It would be nice if at some point we both went out for a cofee just as 'friends' instead and nothing closer. Do you think this will happen at all? I would really like it to happen - like me and her become good friends as I like her and I know she likes me..but I guess not in that way. I do really like her but for now Im just going to have to be 'friends' with her and nothing else. What can develop relationship-wise bewteen us if anything? Is there a chance at some point she will like to go out with me? What should I do??? We both still smile and talk to eachother etc..

should I wait for some time to develop that friendship and then ask her out again or is it a definate no that I have no chance with her considering the age gap etc.. I mean shes in her late 30's who has a stable job etc.. and Im only a 20 odd year old student.
should I develope the friendship further?

ALSO when I see her again (for the first time since asking her out) should I let it all out and talk to her about how I feel towards her? I dont want to frighten her away by this so If I say that I like her and that we should both go out for a coffee sometime just as 'freinds' instead do you think that's okay? I will have to wait and see what her reply will be...
and thanks for your comments everyone, I really appreciate every single one =]

Answer 1

10 years does seem to be the threshold, give or take a couple years. However, it really depends on the people involved. If you really want this relationship to work out, don't rush or force it.

Also, as we age the years seem to obscure themselves. A 30yr old and a 20yr old might find it harder to relate than say a 50 and 60 yr old.

Answer 2

#1, this is TOO long to read. #2, NEVER date a co-worker. if it doesn't work out, you have to see each other every day. #3, does she have kids? are you ready to be a daddy? #4, both of you are adults, so LEGALLY, there is nothing wrong with it. okay, I'm going to attempt to read it, then edit if needed. wish me luck! EDIT: okay. you are a student. i suggest that you find another student more your age. she has a stable job, whereas you are probably an intern or something. she doesn't want to have to pay for everything, etc. AND you are really young, if she's in her late 30's. she already answered your question by saying that you were too young. i suggest that you back off, be her friend, and don't flirt with her. go fill that "Mrs. Robinson" fantasy with someone else. good luck. you sound like a nice guy, but she's not interested in you that way. you'll find someone.

Answer 3

Even though it's not that big of a deal, there is a gap especially because you're still in school and she's already on her work path. It sounds like you guys have a neat friendship and if it keeps on while you enter the work force (she might be waiting for that) things could take a different turn and when she sees you are responsible and have made an effort to fulfill your goals work wise, she may be a little more turned on and thinking less of the age difference. I feel something good here. ;)

Answer 4

I can't beleive she shot you down because of age. 20's vs, 30's isn't that big of an age gap. Right now I am in a similar situation only worse, I 'm in my 40's & asked a guy in his late 20's out & am waiting for his reply. I beleive if there is an attraction between 2 people they should go with it regardless of age. Maybe your girl is looking to get married & feels you're not there yet, or maybe her biological clock is ticking. Maybe if you can, get the courage up & talk to her about this. I am a wimp & if I get turned down I probably wouldn't have the guts, but if you do, try it! Good luck, you sound like a good guy!

Answer 5

I can understand her reticence, as you are both at different stages in your life, but at the same time I see no reason why you and she shouldn't give it a whirl, age doesn't have to be a barrier, I am 35 and my boyfriend is 48 and we've been together for 5 years. Good Luck with your lady love! JO X

Answer 6

I have a friend who is 31 and dating a 25 year old. She thought she would be too old for him and was worried about the age gap until one day it just happened.

If you've already asked her out then I wouldn't pursue it with your intentions high but stay friends...you never know, she might change her mind.

Just remember that the ball's in her court now - she knows where your feelings lie.

Answer 7

She told you once, NO. Let it go, because if you keeping pressuring her you will lose your friendship with her and it will make for a very uncomfortable work environment. P.S. I am so sorry to say this but just the fact that you keep going on and on about it proves your immaturity, she said no, don't be like a Little kid begging after you were told NO. She probably caught on to this immaturity so you better just back off. Don't be impatient and intolerant of others space and feelings. That is a part of being a grown up................

Answer 8

I met my husband in college, he is 8 years older than I am. I guess it depends on the person you are interested in, I think the ball is in her court now and if she wants to take that step, she'll ask you. Just leave it the way it is for now. Maybe being an older woman, she isn't ready for a younger man. Give it time and don't push it. You may ruin it for yourself in the long run. Give yourself time to mature, maybe date other woman. If it was meant to be, well, you know...

Answer 9

shes probably thinks that u just want to have sex with her since ur young its a known fact that women of an older age are more experienced...and maybe shes looking for someone who is stable, serious and not immature for a serious long term relationship...but u will never know unless u ask her ...good luck

Answer 10

if she is 5 or 6 or 7 years older thats ok, but more i guess u need 2 be really close and understanding each other and have same way of thinking 2 make it work lol.