How should I tell my mom about things she doesn't know?

Question

She knows about some of the abuse my dad did but not all I haven't told her all because I don't want her to feel responsible and like it's her fault! How do I tell her tha part of the reason I don't hear very well in my right ear is because he backhanded me there when I was a lot younger? He abused mom and my half bros too ok they are now divorced she associates it with

playing my iPod to loud,how do I tell her without making her feel guilty? She did stand up for us even when it meant her suffering the repercussions. I didn't tell her because he threatened to beat me if I did!

its been years i can hear out of it just not the best im not death i just hear better out of my left! i wont lose it i can ehar out of it just not great!

well actually my mom didnt know ok so fu*k off to anyone who says shes partially to blame she would beat the sh*t out of him for the things he did of course she got bea afterwards

Answer 1

Maybe you could put it in a letter for her. That way you could get alot of feelings out and she could talk about it when she was ready and would have alittle time to sort out her feelings without being hurt when you do discuss it. From what you've said she may already know and just not want to talk about it or know what to say to you. Hope you can work everything out! Hug

Answer 2

You mom couldn't protect you because she couldn't even protect herself and she knows it and feels badly about it. However, you can tell her about your ear and the abuse you suffered at the hands of your father without her feeling responsible. Say something like "mom isn't sad that we all had to live with dad's abuse? I'm so glad we have you mom, the stable one who never abused us. Does it still bother you about dad? How does it make you feel? Try to get a feel for what she is feeling first. Then you can start talking about your feelings. Then you can tell her, "you know mom, I believe that part of the problem with my hearing issue is not becasue of the ipod but because when dad hit me, he repeatedly backhanded me over my right ear." Something like that. I hope you get the drift. Make sure mom knows how much you appreciate her.

Answer 3

If it's bothering you maybe it's best if you sit down and talk about ALL of it with your mother. Just kind of clear the air and get it all off your chest. There may be things she'd also like to say to you. It might help you to be even closer yet once you begin to open up about things you haven't.

I'd address it as you have here. Tell your mom you do not blame her for what your father did but you blame him as he is the guilty one. Tell her you know she tried to protect you and that you are sorry she even had to.

Tell her you just want to be able to talk about those things you weren't allowed to before just to get past them. Tell her your not looking for blame, or fixes, you just want to be able to talk about it with her.

You can ask your mom to keep your conversations private between you if it bothers you she still associates with them.
Tell her it's important what ever you say she doesnt take further than the coversation becasue you need to be able to trust that she will do that when you ask and that there is always room to discuss whats best. But for now you need the trust that you can come to her and talk privately and what you say will be safe regardless wha tit might be.

Unless its things like your being abused now and have socialization woth your father. Then your mother needs to step in and protect you.

The blame goes on your father. He was the one swinging the hands. He is soley responsible. I know mothers should protect and remove children from these things but for those in these situations its not always as easy at that seems.

Answer 4

Hi.

if you were abused as a child it's NOT YOUR FAULT either!

if your mother knew about it and did nothing, well, then she is partially to blame, whether you like hearing it or not.

PLEASE seek help for these issues. talk to your school counselor if you're in school (?) or perhaps consider therapy.

people who were abused and never got help are not "ok".

Answer 5

youve got to tell her, your ear needs medical treatment ,they might can fix it, but if you dont it could get worse and maybe lose all of your hearing, tell her.

Answer 6

What good would it do?