I am finding it hard coping with four children?

Question

I have five children - one is not living at home, the others are a girl(12) boy(9), boy(3) and baby five months. I can't seem to cope real well - my house is in a mess and I never have time to myself. Is this normal or am I being too hard on myself?
I don't work outside the home.
thanks.

Answer 1

2 of your kids at home are old enough to help, so I'd start delegating. the 3 year old can atleast attempt to pick up after himself. i think the key is getting your entire family on a scheduleso that you can see when you have time to clean and when you can make time for you. i can definitely be overwhelming. Try and keep your head up.

Answer 2

As a mother of 6, all boys, I understand being overwhelmed. The biggest lifesaver for me was establishing a routine. I am sure you already have a pattern of the day more or less already without even knowing it. You can schedule time for yourself in that routine. 1 or 2 quiet times of even 15 minutes became a life saver. One trap large family moms fall in to is feeling they have to entertain their children all the time.There is nothing wrong with having the kids play in their room for a time while you sit and read, needle point, work out... what ever! They get a more focused mom in return. Quality time with a happy mom is worth more than quantity time when you're frazzled. PLUS! your children are at an age where they are perfectly capable of helping around the house. A 12 year old can put laundry in the dryer, read to the younger ones, help with dishes, vacuum... a 9 yr old can sweep, sort laundry, rinse dishes.. 3 yr olds can put dirty clothes in a hamper and put away toys. They learn how to take care of themselves that way, a very valuable lesson. Like Mary Poppins, you can make it fun, too! I have had some of my best talks with the boys when cleaning up together. Most important, enjoy the time you have together. Remember, they grow up so fast and when they are grown, they will remember all the happy times as a family more than how clean the house was! Go make some memories!

Answer 3

You are being WAY too hard on yourself.

First you must determine how much mess you can live with. Kids are messy. Point blank. So you'll have to tolerate some things out of place here and there. 12 and 9 year old should have regular chores. This fosters responsibility, not only individually, but to a family. (If you wanna be part of this family, you will have to participate...cleaning is a familiy responsibility). The 3 year old can help too! They can empty clean laundry into a basket, sort forks and spoons and butter knives into the drawer, or hand clean plate over to be put away, or pick up stuff and hand it to you or put in hamper...etc.

Here are a couple of things I've said:
"If your big enough to take it out, your big enough to put it away."

"It's my job to grow you into a responsible adult, if you have SOME fun along the way, consider it a bonus."

If you make your children's lives so enjoyable, they will never want to leave childhood! Don't teach them that life is fun everyday, that's not realistic for life.

Answer 4

You have a HUGE job and are doing the right thing by being home with your children; that doesn't mean it's easy. In fact, it's the toughest job in the world... tedious, boring at times, frustrating. Just do the best you can and remember that before you know it the kids won't need you as much as they do now. A messy house is normal with that many kids. You should try to ask your husband (do you have one?) for a little "off time" to nap, shop, exercise... whatever you like. Finding a balance will help. You can't be everything to everyone, but do the best you can and take time for yourself, if possible.

Answer 5

you are being way too hard on yourself, this is the unfortunate course of being a parent, we get the good and the bad, right now things are looking bad, but at the end of the day does it really matter if the house isn't sparkling, the important part is that your kids are well cared for and loved. Take a deep breath, tell yourself that your a great mum a work on getting a little time to your self every now and then even half an hour to go for a walk.

Answer 6

If your kids like most (having every known toy on the planet) I am sure your house is a mess. Time to get your home organized. First thing is to weed out the toy and put some away (to be rotated for latter use) Open storage of bins is the simplest way to store most items. Including clothing. I would was each (or only two children's) clothes at a time, so there is less time wasted on sorting. Teach the 3 oldest to pitch in)

Most of all I would get my tubes tides so another one is not joining the crew soon.

Answer 7

Yes,I too am an introvert and don't have the need nor want of the often inane prattle of people who I think simply like the sound of their voices for they rarely say anything that has any meaning.However,when it comes to children I,like you try to show a bit more patience,for the interest of an adult in what he or she is saying can make all the difference in how they develop as a person.I suggest you try to get her interested in reading then have her write a review of the book.Of course she'll probably want to tell you all about the story but at least you'll have a few hours of that precious rarity-for a f few hours - silence.

Answer 8

You are a good mother. It is exhausting if you do it correctly. Perhaps you could get some housekeeping help which is also a psychological boost. You have 18 more years to go so I hope you can find a way to get out of your slump. Just remember it is the most important job in the world and also the most difficult especially when you do not work outside the home.

Answer 9

I think you're being too hard on yourself. My best friend of over 20 years has raised four children, and some of them are still at home. She stays home too. She told me that her sheets get changed about twice a year. She says when you have a big family you do what's important and necessary, and everything else has to wait. Take it easy on yourself. I don't have any children at all and sometimes I find it hard to cope with life too. Stress is part of the human condition.

Answer 10

first afall in this age to have five kids is too much...firstafall u should have thought of the well being of the child which is going to be coming in this world...at the time u should have thought of yr self as well...anyway done is done...better late than never....try to take help of girl who is 12 to support in household chores....be friendly with her...and for the outdoor works take the help of boy who is 9 ...this way u will be able to put the house in order and have sometime for yr self...be kind and affectionate lovable to all the kids...this will make more of a difference....affection and care to all is must...do not compromise on this....have some fun on week ends with all this will bring a change....god bless u all