It was my sons 15 birthday yesterday and I had pulled out all the stops (he has had a tough year) to end on a family meal which i would cook (his choice) - I even made a lovely birthday cake, when my mother turned up she had purchased one without a thought to let me know - I felt really hurt - and she just didnt understandy why?
2007-10-06 00:17:44 · 19 answers · asked by Bubbles 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
20 years from now he'll remember 2 things: 1) you baking him a cake; 2) how you reacted to his grandma.
Live the things you want to teach your children. It was nice of GM to buy a cake. Make a big deal that he is so special that he gets 2 cakes. As they say in the job-hunting how-to-survive-an-interview-class, turn a negative into a positive. "Look, John is so special he got two cakes this year."
Life is short - lighten up!
2007-10-06 00:53:17 · answer #1 · answered by onparadisebeach 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not being overly sensitive. You went all out to provide your son with a birthday party and the least your mother could of done was to ask you if it would be okay to bring the cake. Now she's made you feel like you weren't capable of providing a cake. People like that like attention drawn to them and will find a way to get that attention.
2007-10-06 07:52:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being able to choose the right words makes a huge difference in evaluating feelings. You say you were hurt, but I think you were disappointed. You wanted to provide something yourself and receive a certain emotional response for it.
I don't think you were too sensitive, but the way you feel would probably be less intense if you could accurately name your feelings. In the light of disappointment, what your mother did was merely exactly the same thing you did. She obtained something to be nice, and wanted some credit for it. Perhaps she could have called, but obviously she didn't know she was supposed to or whe wouldn't have done it. She may have even felt disappointed that what she did didn't turn out the way she'd hoped, that you didn't appreciate it and that she didn't make you happy, too.
Work on getting to the most accurate word when describing your feelings--especially to yourself. When people say they're "hurt", it doesn't solve much. It doesn't determine whether or not they're offended, disappointed, insulted, demeaned, or anything else that they can specifically address and work through themselves or with others. "Angry" doesn't sort out whether a person feels alienated, disrespected, dismissed, disappointed, frustrated, overwhelmed, exploited, or any number of things. We can't prevent what we don't acknowledge.
2007-10-06 07:37:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think you are being too sensitive. I'd be glad he has a grandmother that thought to get him a cake. Plus, a 15 year old can't have too much birthday cake. I would think about how your son probably felt, not yourself. I bet he was thinking it was one great birthday to have TWO cakes! :)
2007-10-06 07:49:17 · answer #4 · answered by 8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you be hurt? Your cake should have been the main one with the candles and all and the additional cake just means you have lots to go around! If this is upsetting to you perhaps there are other issues with your mother. Be careful in picking your battles.
2007-10-06 12:17:49 · answer #5 · answered by oneharrigan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are being too sensitive. Your mom was trying to be nice and what's wrong with two birthday cakes? Be happy that your mom loves your son so much and graciously thank her. She thought she was doing a nice thing.
2007-10-06 11:14:23 · answer #6 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so. At least you made the effort and actually made yours whereas she bought it!!! I've always made my girls birthday cakes and a couple of years ago my mother in law started making them too which I was a bit annoyed about at the time!!!
2007-10-06 07:31:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES... I don't know why you would care... I'll bet your son likes them both, and it means more cake in the end... Let it go. Let your Mom off the hook. She just wanted to do something for him too. I think it is kind of nice that his Grandmother is showing her love for your son too.
2007-10-06 07:23:31 · answer #8 · answered by fire_chief22 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think ur a bit too sensitive he had two cakes im sure he wasnt upset about it thought that counts.
2007-10-06 10:06:10 · answer #9 · answered by louise k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No what you are feeling is so normal. Bang out of order on your mums part if you ask me. Fancy not asking if you had a cake, or even asssuming that you didn't!
2007-10-06 07:23:07 · answer #10 · answered by bruvvamoff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋