I did just that when I had an affair on my husband of 22 years, with an old high school boyfriend who I would marry after my husband divorced me!
In short he got everything I got nothing anyone telling you that California is not by-EST against cheaters lied to you because I only got restrictive visitation rights of my then 13 year old son, who would not even see me!
I don't Blame him because he was the one who caught me in the act and told his father!
over 10 years later my son still refuses to speak to me and calls me horrible names, that I guess I earned.
One more thing anyone who tells you CHEATERS can change LIED to you because I was not even married for 2 years when my 2nd EX. started to cheat on me and then I divorce him!
I also must admit that in 2 serious relationships I cheated on both men sad huh?
I lost everything and now at 58 I live at my mothers home because I can't afford an apartment because my credit rating is in toilet god what a life to live!
2007-10-05 21:31:23 · 9 answers · asked by The Lady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know you made your mistakes and it feels like you're being continuously punished for it but I have to say, you are the one to is punishing yourself the most. The only way you're going to feel better about yourself is if you forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes and stop repeating them, and make the best of the rest of your life. 58 is young so don't tell me there isn't room to change yourself. Life is not perfect and if some people cannot forgive you for past ,even if you're sorry, then the burden lies within them. You can't make ammends with everyone you've affected. Some people just don't forgive and you have to come to terms with that. That doesn't mean you're not a worthy person. Stop punishing yourself with guilt, pick yourself up, and make the best out of life. Get off that pity pot.
2007-10-05 21:42:40 · answer #1 · answered by Maureen B 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As a step mom and a step child, I will answer this from both sides as best I can. As a step child who's mother or father was out of the picture at some point in my life - she is hurting. It is killing her inside that her mom doesn't have much to do with her. She is probably wondering what flaw she has to be rejected by her, so on the rare occasion her mother acknowledges her, she clings to it. She will exaggerate her experience trying to fluff her own ego. Basically she makes it out that she had sooooo much fun because in that way it means her mom loves her. How could she and her mom have such a good time if she didn't really love her (in her mind). She may have had a horrible time, but she would never admit it to anyone. She may also think when she tells these stories about what a good time she had, that people will think better of her mom and thereby think she's a better kid. She is looking for love and acceptance. Her steeling your thunder about your hair color was just another attempt at getting attention. It may have also made her feel important to do the "reveal". If you made the comment about men flirting with you because of your new dew (I'm sure in jest), it made her feel important that you shared that with her and she was able to share it with everyone else. As the step mom, I would let it all go in one ear and out the other. As hard as this is on you, it's 10 fold on her. She feels lost. She doesn't need sensativity training. She isn't trying to hurt anyone, she is actually reaching out. Being a step mom, sometimes my tougue has blead from biting it so hard so I don't speek. I'm sure you are an excellent mom and step mom, I'm not judging you in the least. It is sometimes the hardest job in the world. But please don't take anything she says about her mom as a personal attack on you, because great step mom or not, she feels rejected by her biological mom. You may need to be extra patient with her, but in the end it will be worth it.
2016-05-17 08:06:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your monetary problems, but I can say I don't feel sorry about the choices you made. Looking before you leap not only applies to cliffs but relationships also. My father did the same thing to my family and after thirty five years I still have a hard time talking to him. Good luck with life, and take care of the ones who still love you.
2007-10-05 21:39:46 · answer #3 · answered by trusansno 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are too hard on yourself, my god, who cares what happened before. We live for today. Don`t beat yourself silly. What kind of life is that. Ya, you mentioned your son `caught` you in a cheat. Son`s of that age, I have two myself, are so judgemental. What are you missing in your lifeÉ Why do you feel that you need to turn to someone`else besides your partner. You know sometimes we get so lonely, even doing the dishes, even if the man is there, but there is a reason. What are you lacking in you life, you never mentioned if you work, or if you are a stay at home person.
Stay strong and don`t give up on yourself. I don`t even know you and I know you deserve love.
Take care.
2007-10-05 21:51:26 · answer #4 · answered by GP C 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
hi..
life is to live and learn..
do some kinda of cleansing course...
do some breathing excercise..
do yoga..
live for urself and NOT for the opinion others have of u..
ok u made a mistake but who doesnt..
move on..
and the ones who dont move on will be the loosers..
be happy..its important..
find something u like..paint ..sing..cook...
u will find a meaning..and then a source of income and
then freedom from past...
god bless u...
and no life doesnt have to be bad if v CHOOSE for it not too
2007-10-05 21:38:56 · answer #5 · answered by happinezz 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yeah,you never turn your back on your children.That is the worst feeling ever.No way.no man is ever good enough for me to do that.But don't give up on him.Keep teying.Explain him that you were young,naive and unhappy.Tell him you didn't mean to hurt him.If you can at least get your son back,i think there is hope for you.
2007-10-05 21:53:32 · answer #6 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Nope. Sorry to hear your situation. I will spare you a lecture. You know what you have done and where you went wrong.
Now let yourself off the hook. You are only human.
2007-10-05 21:40:25 · answer #7 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
God always passes the bill... NEVER forget...
Or like other posters would say.... KARMA BABY.........
2007-10-05 22:21:12 · answer #8 · answered by Lizzie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh! boy...!
2007-10-05 21:53:39 · answer #9 · answered by lady in pink 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋