My husband left us.?

Question

I resently wrote about how my marriage was having problems. Now my husband has left. I really feel that he suffers from depression. But I also found out he has been seeing some one else . I am angry and misrable all at the same time. I am still in love with him . But I guess it really is over. does anyone have good advice . I still love him . He And I have made many mistakes in our twelve year marriage in handling things. But he won't even talk to me . and tell me why. When we took our vows I truly believed our marriage would ast forever. And for the most part for the first elven years things were very good. Some ups and downs but mostly good then all of a sudden he starts not showering regularly. sleeping more than normal . being a couch potatoe. than all of a sudden coming home late everynight. the sleeping on the couch. I am not sure what to do if depression can cause someone to cheat. Or how to close up my feelings for him. I still really love him. How do I get over this?

Answer 1

aah ur very lucky that u passed 11 years with your husband but sometimes this situation comes early in the life of a women, just try to find out any women who was the part or past of your husbands life before you. and try to understand and handle the situation bcoz before the day will come to break ur relationship with your husband just control and also consult with any psychologist.

Answer 2

When my husband's behavior started changing I had suspicions he was cheating. He'd come home from work, sleep 3-4 hours, get up and shower, then go out to a bar and stay out late at night. This was a sudden change that lasted 3 months before I finally found my evidence that he was cheating. Your husband isn't depressed. He's probably showering elsewhere considering he's staying out late at night, and he's probably tired because he's working and playing too hard only he wasn't playing with you. Believe me, you are much better off without him. You will eventually learn to let go of the feelings you have for him especially when the resentment and anger take over...lol. You will eventually find peace within yourself. The old adage that time heals all wounds never rang so true.

Answer 3

Not showering, sleeping irregularly, and a general "alofness" are all signs of depresion. However, if he is in fact seeing someone else, chances are he would not be displaying theses symptoms. He may be substituting the intamacy you two shared with another women, but he is in no way trying to replace it. Look inside your realtionship. Has it differed recently due to some change? Be it sexual, emotional, or elsewhere? Men are easily swayed when facing a tough problem, almost more so than women. Do not be afraid to ask him specifically what caused this divergence. Often times, a little adventurous attitutde in the bedroom, and a quality heart to heart can rectify a lot of situatiions. Providing your are capable of forgiving his mistakes. Remember, men's entire thought process and deciion making process is a 180 from women's, most women have trouble understanding this. On the flip side, most men have the same problem.

Answer 4

Honey, if he was that depressed, he would have been too depressed to meet someone new. Don't use depression as an excuse for him, he's just a cheater, plain and simple. Now do you really want a man back after he has cheated and broke your wedding vows? Hell I wouldn't, because once a cheater always a cheater, he didn't even respect you in this marriage for doing what he did. In time you will get over this, I'm sure it's real hard and hurts a lot, but you will probably find someone new , but for now just take it one day at a time.

Answer 5

Go See A Therapist And Talk This Out With Him Or Her. Dont Keep It All Inside. Its Not Good. And If He Was That Depressed He Wouldnt Of Felt Able To Meet Another Women. Good Luck!!! =]

Answer 6

Ok. Things happen. Yes marriage should be forever but most of the time it isn't. It's apparent that he found someone else and is happy and is moving on. And he is through with you. It's hard to realize that but you have to go on. He doesn't love you anymore and wants to be with someone else. SO you need to, no matter how hard it is, get over him. Doesn't it make you mad what he's done to you? Cheated on you. Having sex with someone else. And you still love him?????? He has no respect for you. He's not thinking about you. He's sneaking off to see someone else and you still love him???? Maybe something is wrong with you? I'm sorry, but you need to get over this. Vows are only good when both of you honor them. And you both aren't.

Answer 7

Husbands who have married at least 20 years!!! Christmas ideas for husband?

Answer 8

Realize that you and your suffering is in no way unique. Others are going through your same struggle. They band together in groups, usually at Churches, for support.

Find a group like it and talk about your struggle. The real miracle and healing will come when after some time, you will help someone just like you heal when you share your story.

Good luck.

Answer 9

When you have gave it your best and your best isn;t good enough for him...it's time to move on.

Why waste anymore years of denial?

Your better than that.

If he doesn't want you then kick him to the curb and move on.

There is someone in this world that will want you and love you no matter what you've been through in this marriage.

The choice is yours.

love can be confusing to many people and they feel that love will endure the pain and suffering and that is not always true.

Your love for him has been destroyed by him. He doesn;t want your love. he doesn;t want you.

So why share your love with someone who denies it?

You have to get that love in return and obviously he's not the one.

Answer 10

Depression is dissatisfaction with yourself and your life. A depressed person will try to change many things, in their life, to find happiness. That includes partners. Realize that depression sucks big time and there was nothing that you could do.
There are no justifiable reasons for cheating.