What Do You Think Of This Poem and Please Be Honest?

Question

Clear Skies Overhang
The Soft Glow Of Naked Flesh
Fresh From The Blade
Broken Glass Of Dreams
Weeping Gently With The Trees
We Hide Our Scars
Underneath The Moonlit Clouds
Prancing, Waiting For That Car
Idle Hands Lead To Our Blood
The Newest Edition To Our Hated Cult
Hated Because We Speak
Heed Our Words For We Are You Children
Sons and Daughters Alike
Your Abuse Didn't Stop Us, Nothing Will
No Time Like Now, Better Now Then Ever
Stringing Our Selves With Power lines
Searing Our Scars
Come Peel My Skin Back
Peer Into This Hallowed Shell
See My Darkest Secret
The Scar I Hid From You
Clouds Disperse
We Lay Streaked In Grass And Blood
The Broken Bottle In Our Hands
And Wrists, Please
Sprawled Out Of Time And Place

Answer 1

Be honest? I doubt that's what you want, but here goes. Your overuse of caps is distracting, and your lines are disconnected for the most part. It's as if you took a hat-full of song titles, shook them, drew them out of the hat one or two at a time, and then copied them down. The shock value of what you seem to want to say is lost in the muddle. Break your lines down to single words and use each one with care. Check for spelling and usage (Hallowed or hollowed?). If you want to write good poetry, read the modern poets, the ones who are being published now. You'll learn the craft and be better equipped to practise it. It can be done. Best of luck!

Answer 2

My perception is that the author of this poem seems to have grown up faced with the reality of emotional pain. The presently they must cut themselves to relieve pain. Now they drink and have no shame being drunk broken and bleeding in the field.

Very sad.

Answer 3

Being honest, I think you are addicted to the shift key. Form is as important as sentiment, and your form is very distracting.

Answer 4

It was different. Lots of images, some brilliant and others just so so.

Keep on working on it.

Answer 5

Talent!! Keep it up.